There Are Things That Drift Away
by WonderousPlaceForAnEcho
Summary: There are things that drift away like our endless numbered days . Sequel to the story To Be Alone With You.
1. Chapter 1

**There are things that drift away like our endless numbered days.** (Iron and Wine's song "Passing Afternoon." Yes, it was used on House and I find it fitting for this story.)

Author's Note: No, I don't own the characters/show or any rights. Don't you think that if I did the show wouldn't have been how it was? Thank you for the reviews. People who write moronic, homophobic quips don't get my vote, that was a waste and it's the 21st century-grow up and be more open minded. As a side note-Yes, I understand that homophobic people have the right to their opinion, we all do, but promoting hatred or the notion that someone is inferior to another group of people isn't humanistic and in fact comes off as ignorant. (Also it shows their own insecurities and need to feel powerful by marginalizing others; it's a false superiority complex. Now I'm done with my rant.) About the writing to come…I'm going to be messing around with slightly more abstract writing (occasionally) and so I hope its enjoyable.

* * *

"I feel like we're falling apart." Marissa said with desperation and sadness laced throughout each word. She stood in the middle of Alex's kitchen, her arms tightly wrapped around her midsection, trying to confine herself and seemingly her emotions that were threatening to spill over and become painfully present.

Sensing that her girlfriend was withdrawing from her she tried to joke while looking around as though searching for something…

"I swear I have some glue around here," Alex offered, trying to lightly joke to provide some comic relief and she saw the corners of Marissa's lips curl up unintentionally. She let her shoulders fall when Marissa didn't respond the way she was hoping. Everything felt like it was a reaction to something, every facial expression, every word, every sigh…

Alex looked down at the floor, getting lost in the dark wood and the lines that went through them. Their imperfections and simple aesthetic beauty that always went overlooked.

"I can't do this anymore." Marissa said in a whisper. Those words made Alex's head shoot up, her attention snapping back to her girlfriend or could she call her that now?

4 months earlier….

She didn't feel the usual warmth or embrace that came when she woke up, stretching out careful to avoid bringing any pain to her ribs Alex looked around the room. It was very much like Marissa's personality and what she noted that she liked about it the most was the smell. Marissa's scent was always in the room and Alex loved it when she rolled over and breathed in the pillow next to her; though she was reminded that Marissa wasn't there, the side of the large bed unoccupied by her taller girlfriend. Looking around again she noticed the clock that read 9:32. She was late for work…

_Damn it, damn it, fuck…_

Reaching over for her phone she hit the speed dial and connected with Jodie.

"Why aren't you asleep?" The short girl said with disinterest and sounded preoccupied.

"Morning to you too," Alex grumbled and laid back into the bed, pulling the covers around her more, knowing a lecture was coming on based on the other woman's tone.

"Marissa already called, she said you were going to sleep in, you aren't coming in today and…" Jodie left off as Alex heard papers being moved in the background.

"And…?" Alex said impatiently.

"I'm dropping off Liv tonight because Marissa wants her back," Jodie supplied.

"Huh, it sounds like you had an actual conversation with her," Alex noted with somewhat shock.

"Yeah, she even asked me how I was. I was surprised she was capable of being considerate," Jodie half joked making Alex roll her eyes and lift her arm over her head to stretch again, this time her hand hit a piece of paper, making a rumbled noise that woke her up a little more. "But I can tell you're still sleep drunk," Jodie noted, her own terminology coming out to show that Alex wasn't fully awake.

"Mhm, so if I'll see you later then," Alex said as she picked up the small piece of paper and held it before her face, her eyes trying to focus on it.

"Yeah, bye," Jodie said and hung up the phone, her attention already on something else knowing that Alex's typical phone etiquette didn't involve saying goodbye. Shutting off her phone and setting it on the bed near her hip as to not have it get lost in the blankets she pulled the note closer and read it.

Morning…this sort of popped into my head while you were sleeping and I wanted to tell you-

perhaps this is blind lament falling on deaf ears  
because you're unaware of all the things I could do  
to hurt you  
or the (desperate) apologies that will inevitably come  
YOU, with your painfully, beautiful optimism throws off-challenges my cynicism  
and I'm left fearful of loving you  
if I withhold or feel as though I may not meet you half way  
when I know I should  
if not out of fairness (for the viewpoint that all is fair in love and war to be false)  
but the mentality that there should be a balance  
an evenness-  
with loving and being loved

Alex had to read it again, she wasn't completely awake and this wasn't expected.

_That was beautiful…depressing at the same time, but Jesus. That was a lot…and…she thinks she's going to hurt me. Which yeah…we always hurt the ones we love. Oh hell I'm referencing Buffy quotes this early… but really? I'm optimistic? Okay maybe in comparison to Marissa I seem it, but… _Alex's thoughts ended there, she kept staring at the small piece of paper and soon enough nearly six minutes had passed.

Deciding it was time to get up, take a shower, get dressed she folded the piece of paper neatly and set it on the small table. Looking around the room she found her clothes that were thrown across the floor and a towel draped over a chair. Slowly getting out of bed and feeling exposed she grabbed the towel, loosely wrapped it around herself and crossed the room into the connected bathroom to take a warm shower.

When she came out ten minutes later she was more relaxed than usual, climbing back into bed without any clothes on after hanging up the towel she looked around the room again. The dresser had high end perfumes and makeup on it, the walk in closet no doubt had a massive collection of clothes that Alex knew didn't suit her so she didn't bother rummaging through to find something for herself to wear, rather much liking her state of undress at the moment…

A bookshelf that was full of some poetry, some random, unexpected books such as Jack Kerouac, Aldous Huxley, even Lewis Carol's Alice in Wonderland, the abridged version. Marissa appeared to be shallow and maybe even vapid to people at first glace, Alex was sure of that, likely because she was surprisingly quiet and was certain people would mistake that for being arrogant or a bit of a rich snob, but Marissa wasn't completely like that. Yes, everyone had their bad days and Marissa had more than her fair share but after contemplating it a bit more…yeah, Marissa was a bit of a brat, she had expectations and to a degree she was spoiled but she meant well, she had a good heart and she loved her.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: It's come to my attention that I may not believe in love so I find it amusing that…I'm writing a story about love and I realize that if it's a waste and lacks anything of value-that may be why, but I hope it's enjoyable. As usual reviews help and prompt me to continue writing. And I don't own The OC, blah blah, but if I did Alex would have been different and she would have stayed damn it! (I've been working on this update for days)Also at the moment I'm stuck in an airport, since I missed my flight…yeah…I'm livid to say the least so I'm going to write and pay for the god damned internet connection! Airports make plenty of money-wireless internet should be free!!!! I'm going to awake for hours so please be nice when reviewing cause I've penciled in having a breakdown. (My humor is so damn dry)

* * *

Boredom was beginning to become an issue, she loved laying in bed, she didn't get to do it often, she was always working or doing something that involved a lot of movement, so now she was still in Marissa's room. Still looking at the books, her eyes scanning over the bindings for the titles; coming across The History of Punk made her smirk. As much of the fact that Marissa appeared to be a preppy girl she was in her own way a punk, well the former blonde noted that she had the angst and anger to go with the movement and sure as hell the sense of rebellion and tilting her head to the side if Alex considered it some more and it held true that her girlfriend was a neo-punk. She pushed against her mother, she didn't fit into a box, she was bi, as far as Alex could tell, she had an issue with authority figures and with that thought Alex smirked more recalling that Sandy Cohen noted she had her own edginess around figures of authority. Shaking her head she realized she was digressing, but after all she was allowed to, she wasn't working, hence her boredom. Oh the vicious cycle, she thought in her head. Then a worn out book seemingly from a used book store caught her attention. A Tale of Two Cities.

_Go figure_, Alex thought and picked up the book, letting it slide along the bookshelf till it was free from the other books that pressed against it.

Flipping it open she was even more surprised when paragraphs were highlighted. Skimming the first few pages she was reminded why she loved it, having read it years ago. The story fit Marissa's personality well Alex decided. The underlining concept being revenge, a strong female character controlling the lower class to rise up against the upper class, which if anyone bothered to examine, Marissa loathed and resented. Putting the book back she got comfortable again, with her hand under her head she focused on her breathing as she tended to do as a relaxation technique and she was nearly asleep, but then her phone rang.

"Yeah?" Alex answered.

"Someone really needs to work on your people skills," a voice with an obvious attitude came out from the other end.

"Summer," she said, similar to how she had once said Seth when she opened her front door to find him. "You know I was going to take a class, but it was too early in the morning," Alex noted with dry humor.

"You know Alex, I just can't see you in the army," Summer said back with disinterest, though the comment made Alex blink a few times in shock, unaware how Summer could pick up on her subtlety.

"Ah…so.." Alex tried to change the conversation to something else, but being somewhat sleepy still she wasn't thinking quickly.

"Marissa's birthday is coming up," Summer noted matter-of-factly. "I take it you didn't know so this is me informing you," she continued.

"Thanks?" Alex questioned, confused on how the shorter brunette would know.

"You are very welcome," Summer said cheerfully in her odd way where every word was given an inflection and lift in her voice. "I'm just warning you that she seems sort of down or not herself lately, but she doesn't smell like vodka and I was pleasantly surprised when her coffee was coffee," Summer rambled, "so try to get her something nice or something's, whatever," she kept on with a slight valley girl accent.

_I'm surprised she hasn't thrown in the word like…_Alex thought as she was beginning to tune out her girlfriend's best friend.

"I was thinking of throwing some sort of party with a theme, either a pool party, although Coop might end up throwing the furniture in it or we could…" Summer drifted off apparently in thought, "go like shopping," she suggested.

_And there she goes, she threw in the word like, I could bet money on this girl, _Alex considered.

"But then again you don't really care about shopping unless its for music I assume," Summer said seemingly more to herself.

_If I hung up right now would she even notice? _Alex questioned, holding the phone away from her, still hearing Summer's voice and frowning at the small device.

"Any thoughts?" Summer asked, stopping her stream of consciousness monologue.

"Yeah, I'm tired," Alex said with disinterest with her eyes closed, her hand loosely holding the phone next to her ear.

"Alex, focus," Summer's voice said with command she the former blonde could have swore she heard a snap in the background. Clearing her throat Alex tried to give Summer her attention.

"I want a drama free evening for Marissa and I will totally go rage black out on your ass if she doesn't enjoy herself," Summer said with conviction. Alex's visceral reaction was to raise her eyebrows at the tiny girls threat, albeit slightly thoughtful one.

"Protective," Alex said back into the phone.

"I could say the same for you," Summer said back, not missing a beat. "Friday, that's in three days," she continued in a secretarial tone, "plan something, do something nice, you don't have to keep me informed, bye," Summer said and hung up, not waiting for Alex to say goodbye. Flipping her phone shut Alex rolled back over and got comfortable again only to hear her phone ring again not even twenty seconds later.

"Does anyone let me sleep," she grumbled into the phone, again not bothering to say hello to the caller.

"It's almost two o'clock," Marissa said happily, thought she tried to sound authoritative.

"Yeah and somewhere in the world its 2 AM," Alex said back but was more attentive.

"You're a smartass," Marissa replied with more happiness in her voice.

"Mhm and I recall someone keeping me up so I'm entitled to sleep in," the shorter girl said with playfulness.

"Mmmm well I'm coming back in an hour, there's some social chair things I have to take care of but then…"

"Do you want to go to the beach, just relax?" Alex offered, cutting Marissa off.

"Perfect," Marissa said back. "Get dressed and I'll pick you up when I'm done," she continued.

"Okay," Alex said and then a yawn escaped.

"Clothes!" Marissa demanded making Alex roll her eyes in response.

"Alright, alright."

"Bye baby," Marissa said and hung up.

Again Alex flipped her phone shut and roll over to reposition herself only to be disturbed when her phone began to buzz, informing her she had a text message. Reaching out for her phone again that she lazily tossed away from her she opened her phone again, pressed a button and retrieved the message that read-Clothes! Laughing to herself Alex threw the sheet off her body, slowly got out of bed, swinging her legs over the side, stretched up, hearing a few joints crack and placed her feet firmly on the ground to stand up.

Minutes later she was finishing fastening her belt buckle, smoothing out her white button up shirt and brushing her hands over her thighs of the dark jeans she sat and waited then kept looking over the pictures on Marissa's dresser. Pictures of her father and one of her little sister, a few of herself and Summer were in various frames. Previously most of the frames contained pictures of Ryan but Alex content knowing that those pictures weren't on display any longer.

_Hmmm Marissa's birthday, what to do, what to get…_she thought with her hands on her hips looking at the pictures, her girlfriend's father and sister that she'd never met before. Marissa never talked about her dad to her but she had to assume that he was a better person than Julie Cooper…then again he did abandon her. _Like many fathers seem to do…_she thought cynically. Sighing and taking a deep breath she was startled when her phone went off, reaching into her back pocket she flipped it open.

"Yeah?" She said in mid thought.

"For once a hello would be nice," her girlfriend said back jokingly.

"Mmm so the beach?" Alex cut to the chase.

"I'm out front, just come down," Marissa said gently and ended the conversation.

Two minutes later Alex was downstairs, shutting the front door. Take the few steps to Marissa's car she hopped in and kissed her cheek gently.

"You look rested," Marissa said happily.

"I feel it," Alex said contently.

"So beach and then…?" Marissa questioned as she focused on the road.

"I was thinking an easy night with a movie and icecream," Alex noted warmly, looking at Marissa who nodded in response and continued her driving until they were at the beach where they both got out in a lazy fashion and headed to their favorite spot in front of the of the lifeguard tower; settling in and getting comfortable Marissa looked intently at Alex, making the former blonde feel scrutinized so she frowned and then raised an eyebrow at her girlfriend.

"Can I help you over there?" She joked lightly.

"Um…Summer mentioned something about the army," Marissa noted with apprehension. Alex only nodded slowly.

"Is there something to that?" The taller girl asked gently, not wanting to pry. For her part Alex leaned back on her arms more and looked side long at Marissa, debating what or how to say her next words. Taking a deep but quiet breath she started to think out loud.

"Mmmm when my dad found Jody and me he grabbed my arm, threw me against the wall…told Jody to leave and she did after a few seconds of thinking it over, but she left and my dad just looked at me, not saying anything for a while until he walked away. He stopped at the door, didn't really turn around," Alex said in a distant and detached voice, "and said for me to move the hell out, join the army and straighten up or go to therapy," she finished with a tense shrug. Placing her hand gently on Alex's shoulder Marissa turned Alex towards her so she could move closer and embrace her fully.

Holding Marissa, hugging her back with her arms around her waist, the taller girl's arms around her shoulders she spoke into her neck.

"No one knows that," she said slowly and pulled back to look at Marissa's green eyes that grew smaller from the frown forming on her face.

"Not even Jody," Alex finished. In turn Marissa leaned into the shorter, somewhat stoic girl and kissed her on the cheek, her hand cupping Alex's jaw and then kissed her other cheek.

"You're beautiful…and I don't want to ever really meet your parents but I'm glad they made you," she said with sweet honesty. The only thing Alex could do was lightly smile and get in a comfortable with Marissa pressing her body against her.

A few minutes passed of content silence until Marissa asked quietly, as though to not disrupt the calm moment, "do you want to leave soon?"

"Yeah, in a few, I just want to see the tide turn," Alex said gently, breathing in Marissa's scent only to be unable to stop herself from kissing her neck. Feeling Marissa lightly laugh against her chest Alex wrapped an arm around the thin girl and witnessed the waves come in, go away, escape and become present again…like friends, family, heartache, love…


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: I'm not sure why but I enjoy making author notes, so…I figured I haven't updated in a while because life gets in the way, but these ideas have been floating around in my head and granted I really am just writing this story as I go so I don't think it's going to be as thought out as To Be Alone With You…but share your thoughts if you're in the mood and I hope you enjoy the chapter. (I'm running out of drama so I'm attempting at humor, please inform me if they aren't in character and I realized that this chapter is going to seem choppy because I forgot about some continuity)

* * *

Slowly with each passing minute the sky was beginning to grow darker, clouds were starting to roll in and Alex considered the possibility of a storm. Yeah, the clouds definitely had a sense of impending gloom. Looking back over at her girlfriend she noticed Marissa was holding her arms tightly around herself to keep whatever heat that was still in her body fro escaping. _Awww, _Alex thought, feeling badly for staying out in the open, near the water this late, _time to go and get warm._

"Ready to go babe?" She asked holding out her hand as an offering, knowing that although Marissa had grown up in Newport all her life she was more of a lay out in the sun and tan sort of girl, not stay out late without the aid of a fire and multiple layers to help her get through the cold breeze that was coming off the ocean waves. Gently Marissa placed her hand in Alex's and got to her feet with the slight pull from the former blonde.

"I thought you'd never ask," she said with slight impatience.

"Oh god, I'm sorry that spending time with me is soooo grueling," she dragged out sarcastically with obvious light heartedness.

"If your ribs didn't hurt you I'd elbow you," Marissa warned back, though she was clearly teasing.

"Wow that sensitivity seminar really paid off for you," Alex joked back, knowing that Marissa never attended such a thing; they were simply enjoying their banter. In response the taller girl raised her fist to Alex, lifting her elbow and threatening her in the disbelieving gesture.

"Hurt me and when you ask me something you won't get it," Alex said lifting an eyebrow, being half serious in her statement as they walked to her jeep.

"What could I possible want from you that I don't already have," Marissa teased in a self knowing way with a tone that implied she had it all and knew it, but really she was mocking her upbringing and wealth.

"Oh I don't know," Alex drawled, "me naked," she said casually with a smirk making Marissa stop mid step and unbeknownst to her, drop her jaw. Laughing melodically at her girlfriend's response Alex got into the jeep smoothly, shut the door and waited for Marissa to come back to earth. While Marissa was busy looking distracted Alex mused how she was happy they had gone back to her apartment and gotten her jeep instead of Marissa driving because frankly the taller girl's driving had a tendency to worry her and she herself loved driving.

"Don't do that," Marissa said in a demanding tone once she was sitting comfortable in her seat.

"And why not?" Alex asked, slightly curious as she turned the engine on and the loud music came from the speakers playing The gift of paralysis by Envy on the coast. She turned it down slightly and looked over at Marissa who was staring at her intently.

"It gets me thinking," she said slowly, her voice dropping a few decibels.

"Awww babe, shouldn't you lay down and do that," Alex teased and saw Marissa glare at her for having undercut her intelligence as she shifted gears and backed out to head to her apartment.  
Marissa scoffed at this and genuinely looked annoyed. Turning her head to look out of the side she focused on avoiding Alex's gaze.

Once the vehicle was shifted into drive Alex reached over and placed her hand gently on Marissa's thigh, moving her fingertips in small circles along the side of her knee.

"I'm sorry," she said with sincerity, "I didn't mean that," she continued and looked over at her girlfriend briefly who pushed back her stubbornness and looked back at her expressionless. "If you wanted me to be completely honest," she continued only to be cut off by Marissa.

"No, I want you to lie to me," she said edging on being cold, though her body language suggested she wasn't tense and Alex stopped moving her fingers along Marissa's skin and stilled her hand, barely resting it on her thigh.

"I'm," she started looked back and forth to the road and her annoyed passenger. "I'm proud of you," she finally got out. Looking back over, she saw a sense of shock come across Marissa's features.

"Why?" she asked in bewilderment.

"You…held your ground with your mom, you're obviously smart even though you don't let people see it too often what with keeping up appearance of social chair…and you're drinking less," she finished slowly, almost with weariness.  
A few seconds passed and Marissa nodded her head. "True," she said lightly. "Thank you," she added sincerely.

They drove for a couple minutes in silence until Marissa unbuckled her seat belt and moved closer to Alex forcing the former blonde to slow down and drive with more safety and consideration unconsciously trying to be mindful of Marissa's preservation.

"There's a reason why I don't wake up and put vodka in my coffee instead of cream," she said with heaviness as she leaned into Alex, her breath hitting the driver's neck.

"Mmm and why's that?" Alex asked curiously.

"I'm happier. Which might be a direct correlation to seeing you naked," Marissa said with seriousness and then cheekiness at the end. Just as Alex was about to respond she felt Marissa kiss her neck and her start to suck at her skin.

"Soooo" Alex started, trying to remain focused. _Thank some god that we're close to the apartment_, she thought. "What you're implying is…" she tried again but felt Marissa bite her neck and smooth her tongue over the area she had just nipped. _Oh hell…words…words…or one times ten is ten, ahhh, six times six is thirty-six...wait…words… _"ah…when you're unhappy I should just be a nudist?" She asked back, half joking.

"It wouldn't hurt," Marissa offered as her voice rumbled against Alex's neck making Alex shiver slightly, enjoying the warmth. "Look we're here," Alex said excitedly, barely able to control her squeak from her voice that in turn made Marissa laugh lightly into her neck as she continued her ministrations.

After parking her car and taking the keys out of the ignition she expected Marissa to get out of the jeep but was pleasantly surprised when she felt the taller girl shift and sit in her lap. Tangling her fingers in Alex's hair, her hands pressed gently at the sides of her girlfriend's neck Marissa leaned into the sitting girl more and kissed her harder. Moaning into Marissa's mouth Alex pulled Marissa closer by pressing one hand against her lower back and the other holding her ass.

"Mmm we should go inside," she suggested, trying to break herself out of the haze that was Marissa's smell and enthusiastic attention.

"For what?" Marissa said with wonder.

"Mmm," she moaned, "I'm not too into being an exhibitionist," she got out.

"True….and we can't have you getting into a fight with someone for looking at me the wrong way," Marissa supplied, knowing her girlfriend's protective tendencies.

"Inside," Alex suggested with impatience.

"Not yet," Marissa said with control and then attacked Alex's lips again.

"Yes ma'am," she mumbled against Marissa lips and felt Marissa bite down on her lower lip almost painfully as though warning her that she was pushing it with the playful teasing. Stopping there Marissa shifted again and swiftly got out of the passenger side door leaving Alex to let a breath of air in a heavy sigh through her slightly parted lips.

"Coming?" Marissa asked wickedly with a smirk standing near the open door to the apartment, having grabbed the keys after Alex threw them on the seat during their little make-out session, discarding them as though not having a care in the world at that moment.

"I'm sure I will soon," Alex mumbled under her breath, her energy picking up knowing what was shortly about to happen once they were inside. Careful not to hit Marissa's car that was parked alongside her jeep, Alex opened her door enough for her to get out and then slammed it shut. Taking the few short steps to the entrance she stepped inside and was again surprised by Marissa's actions as she heard the door close and felt her back being pressed against the wall, Marissa leaning into her strongly, her hands quickly making their way under her shirt to get rid of it smoothly. Lifting her arms up to help Marissa Alex brought her hands back down and did the same to Marissa's thin shirt then tossed it to the floor. The remaining articles of their clothes were shed as they made their way towards the winding staircase but were unable to make it that far. Instead they settled for the couch.

An hour later Alex attempted to get up and head for the stairs but her legs weren't working, her whole body ached, in a good way but she couldn't help but groan. She continued to lay on the couch with Marissa settling herself back on top of her.

"I've fallen and I can't get up," she said drolly though comically making Marissa smirk down at her.

"We could always take a shower together," she offered playfully.

"No!" Alex said raising her voice. "I want to take a ten minute shower not a forty minute one."

"But its two people, we're conserving water and energy and…" Marissa tried to reason, her logic not withstanding.

"Your effort to think green is heartwarming," Alex said with much sarcasm. Marissa only glared back at her and kissed her jawline.

"I'll be back in ten minutes," Alex continued and felt Marissa maneuver herself off of her body.

"Alright, but know that its only nine…something," she said looking at a clock on the far wall, "so be aware I'm going to be bored soon and you were my pillow, seeing that there aren't any here," she said gazing at Alex playfully and Alex couldn't help consider it sweet seeing Marissa look at her with love and joke with her, not minding being reduced to a human body pillow.

"Well we can't have that. And besides we're going to watch a movie," she winked and ran upstairs, one of the throw blankets hanging around her as she ascended. No less than a minute later she was in the shower, letting the warmth seep into her aching muscles. Turning off the water a few minutes later she wrapped the towel around herself and walked out of her bathroom, quickly grabbing some purple boy shorts and a worn in, thin, light grey t-shirt. Heading back downstairs she held a long camisole she had bought for Marissa, purposefully choosing the light pink one with a cream lace and thin straps. Tossing it to Marissa she grabbed the dvd from the stand and placed it in the player then walked over and leaned back into the couch. After pressing a few buttons on the remote the movie was ready. Looking over at her girlfriend she noticed the glare she was receiving. She couldn't help but shrug and smirk.

"What are we watching?" Marissa asked in a controlled tone, trying to make it seem as though she were annoyed that Alex had gotten her something else that was pink as a reminder of her inability to do laundry.

"Repo and the Genetic Opera," Alex said, focused on the screen, knowing full well Marissa wouldn't stay annoyed at her but saw in her peripheral vision Marissa cross her arms over her chest.

"I thought you wanted to use me as a pillow," she tried making conversation but smirked.

"I use you for a lot of things," Marissa said dryly.

"That's sweet of you," Alex said sarcastically.

"Mmm you cook well, you're a good kisser, you keep me warm, you have good taste in movies, you have a cute dog…" Marissa kept naming things off but Alex silenced her by kissing her lightly. Pulling away Alex was content feeling Marissa wrap her arm around her waist, but careful of her ribs still.

"We'll see if you still think I have good taste in movies after this," she said with another smirk and pulled Marissa closer to kiss her cheek and rest her hand on her hip. Getting comfortable, fitting into each other they began to watch the movie.

* * *

Author's note: eventually I'll write the next chapter soon cause I'm excited about it. Also if you haven't had the chance-rent Repo the Genetic Opera, its odd and somewhat of a horror film but it has some crazy music/song and I plan to give away some of the plot and such.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: I hope this a fun chapter, feel free to share your thoughts, eventually there will be some fun drama, but as for now I hope there's some "witty" banter in that that helps make it interesting. Enjoy yourselves.

* * *

"Stop eating all the popcorn!" Marissa exclaimed after slapping Alex's hand away from the bowl of popcorn.

"Ouch! Really?! You just slapped me?" Alex asked incredulously. Marissa only shifted herself a bit and kissed Alex on the cheek, in a way saying sorry but in a sneaky maneuver she took the bowl of popcorn out of Alex's lap and into her own.

"I'm hungry!" Alex almost whined.

"Go get some more snacks," Marissa countered, causing Alex to glare at her, seeing if the taller girl would budge. She tried to reach over and grab some more popcorn only to feel air when Marissa moved the bowl away more.

"Do you not understand the concept of sharing?" Alex said, slightly raising her voice, becoming annoyed.

"I was practically an only child so no and you should understand that," Marissa supplied. She sighed, knowing she wasn't going to get what she wanted.

"Why would I understand that? I'm not an only child," she mumbled but got up from her comfortable position on the couch and headed to the kitchen that still allowed her to watch the movie, given the open floor space and set up of the downstairs.

Quickly and smoothly she snatched the food she wanted from the cupboards and a small, light blue bowl and a spoon. She poured the cereal into the bowl quietly, trying not to disturb Marissa as she watched the movie and finished getting her cereal, putting the last drizzle of honey on and then shutting the refrigerator door, she made her way back over to the couch.

"Awww, that smells good," Marissa said, looking at Alex's hand that held her food. Just as Alex was about to place the spoonful of Honey Nut Cheerios in her mouth, she stopped midway, knowing what was going to happen next.

"I want what you have," the lighter brunette continued in a cute way. Alex only glared at her.

"No," she said in a non-convincing manner and tried again to take a bite of her food.

"You don't eat breakfast and now seems like the perfect time for it," her girlfriend said, trying to rationalize why she wanted the same food.

"Ugh, fine, we're pausing it then," Alex noted as she set her bowl on the dark wood coffee table that was in front of the couch and got up to head to the kitchen-again.

"Why do you like this movie?" Marissa questioned, her not indicating that she had no idea why her girlfriend had chosen to watch Repo. As Alex was getting the same cereal and everything else out for Marissa she looked at the TV that had a still shot of the Repo man holding up a man's spine to examine the bar code on it.

"Aaaah…I think because it's not generic, its odd and dark, the songs are good, sometimes its over the top but the director and actors are aware of it so its clever and the directing is pretty cool, how it alternates between the comic aesthetic and acting…" she noted.

"Wow, you almost sound like Seth." Marissa said slowly.

Alex's jaw slightly hung open. "Take that back or you don't get cereal," she threatened lightly.

"Yeah yeah, you left yours over here so I'll just eat yours," Marissa said and turned back around to the TV as Alex padded over the couch.

Letting herself fall into the couch soundly she slouched down and began to eat her cereal after pressing the play button. Settling in Alex witnessed Marissa cringe whenever there was a bloody moment, particularly when the Repo man is cutting into a victim and then using him as a ventriloquist, which Alex has to admit was sick and demented in its comedic presentation. Feeling Marissa move closer and bury her head in her shoulder was endearing, but she stopped when the scene was over and Alex was content seeing Marissa smirk and even laugh at some scenes.

When the movie was over Marissa continued to stare at the credits until Alex turned it off.

"Soooo…what did you think?" Alex asked lightly.

"That was messed up!" Came Marissa's immediate response.

"It was suppose to be, it was tragic." She countered.

"Yeah, I got that, I actually liked it, but I'm not sure why," Marissa note and remained leaning back into the couch looking slightly perplexed.

"Well I liked it. I doubt that Paris Hilton realized the irony that she was playing a character who is addicted to surgery and lookism, the whole keeping up the idea of perfection when she basically embodies capitalism and narcissism." Alex said back only to have Marissa stare at her.

"I know you're in there somewhere…" Marissa drifted off and kept looking at Alex intensely. For her part Alex could only hold Marissa's gaze and wonder what the hell was going on in her head.

"Alex, fight it, you're stronger than Seth, don't let him take over your body!" Marissa said dramatically and was clearly intent on teasing her girlfriend. Rolling her eyes Alex stretched her arms above her head and yawned.

"You're lucky I love you," she said sleepily.

"Yeah," Marissa whispered and got up with the bowls and wandered over to the kitchen to place them in the sink.

"My least favorite song had to be Seventeen, it was just…obnoxious and I cringed, did Joan Jett not have anything else to do that day? I feel bad for her…" Alex said as she got off the couch and waited at the stairs for Marissa.

"There's an Alex Kelly comment," Marissa teased and walked over to the shorter girl.

"You know you're a pain in the ass," Alex countered as she ascended the stairs.

"Nooo I'm not," Marissa practically sang softly but then Alex felt a slight sting on her ass where Marissa had just slapped her. With her mouth hanging open, Alex turned around and peered at the girl who was now a few inches shorter than her.

"Now I am." Marissa said cheekily and with a sense of pride as a devilish but cute smirk appeared on her lips.

Unable to stop herself Alex leaned down and kissed Marissa, hard and strong. When she pulled back Marissa seemed in a slight daze, her brain somewhere else…

"You're going to be awake for hours, now that you did that," Alex warned.

"And why's that?" Marissa responded in a laid back way.

"First…" Alex said, her voice dropping a few decibels. "I'm going to kiss you…take off your clothes, very slowly," she said as she tugged on the bottom of Marissa's shirt lightly, "and make you scream my name, over and over again," Alex said seductively, making Marissa's teasing stop immediately. Instead Alex very slowly lifted Marissa shirt and let it cascade to the floor, not caring that they were on the stairs still and then pulled her closer to her body.

Quickly, they made their way upstairs but Alex kept her verbal declaration of stripping Marissa of her clothes slowly which made the taller girl grow impatient with anticipation when she felt Alex kiss her neck, slowly press her tongue over the warm, inviting skin beneath her mouth and gently suck on her pulse. The action caused a moan to escape from Marissa lips and within minutes both girls were letting the last articles of clothing fall to the floor as Alex slowly pressed her hips into Marissa while she lay beneath her.

Nearly two and a half hours later Alex slowly moved away from Marissa and rested on her side of the bed. A muffled grunt could be heard from Marissa, her arm covering over her eyes to shield the light.

"I warned you," Alex said calmly though with teasing evident. Another groan could be heard from Marissa as though saying-oh yeah, you sure showed me.

"I could keep going," Alex supplied and at this Marissa finally spoke a real word of noooooo in drawn out contentment and slight irritation for being bothered out of her state of bliss.

"I thought so, you almost passing out while I was" Alex responded and felt instead of a push or smart ass comment Marissa wrap an arm over her waist and pull her closer as she rested her head near her shoulder.

"Are you done?" Marissa mumbled, cutting her off, as though she were waiting for Alex to stop trying to push her buttons and get on her nerves even though she was half asleep.

"Mhmm"

"Good," Marissa noted tiredly, "cause I want to sleep, its almost three and I have school tomorrow, you have work…" she started to drift.

"Yeah babe, goodnight," she said and pressed her palm against Marissa's lower back and held her there.

"Mmm love you," she barely got out and soon drifted off to sleep, the former blonde following soon after.

Waking to the sound of the incessantly, annoying alarm clock made Alex knock her hand into it just for the sake of preserving her sense. Groaning she moved back into Marissa and kissed the back of her neck, not wanting to get out of bed just yet. Feeling Marissa reach her hand back, press her fingertips against the back of her head, encouraging her to move closer, Alex willingly complied; when Marissa slowly rolled over and into Alex she looked into her eyes and then at the clock.

"Damn it," Marissa muttered and leaned away from Alex who was still kissing her neck lightly. Throwing off the covers she moved away from Alex and without any other words headed to the bathroom for a shower.

_And I thought I wasn't a morning person…if I had to go to high school I wouldn't be rushing either. _Lifting herself up, but resting her weight on her arms Alex looked around the room as she waited for Marissa to be done with her shower. Knowing she was going to be awhile, the shorter girl found a pair of her boy shorts and a thin t-shirt.

Once dressed, well, somewhat dressed, considering the shirt didn't hide much, she went downstairs to make Marissa breakfast and grab herself some juice. Just as she was finishing putting the last chocolate chip pancake on the plate Marissa came down the stairs at a snails pace wearing a brown long sleeved shirt and light jeans with lines running through them with a black leather jacket over it. Lifting an eyebrow, Alex had to admit she looked great, even when she clearly didn't want to be awake.

The girl could give me a run for my money with the whole brooding, annoyed looked, but she looks great, hell she always looks great but even when she doesn't care and she's casual…

Sitting on the stool dejectedly Marissa looked at the pancakes and then up at Alex and offered her a smile. Picking up the fork Marissa began eating and within minutes she had polished off the three moderate sized pancakes.

"Thanks," Marissa said, her personality finally emerging.

"Oh there you are…I thought zombie Marissa had taken up residency," Alex joked but stopped when Marissa pressed a hand on the counter, leaned over, grabbing Alex's shirt and pulled her closer in an intense kiss but then broke away hastily.

"Chocolate helps," Marissa said back nonchalantly but a smile was now on her face.

"You're going to be late for school," Alex said looking over at the clock by the door.

"Son of a bitch," Marissa said under her breath and Alex couldn't stop from thinking that Marissa cursing was surprisingly hot. Shaking herself from her thoughts she noticed Marissa was already near the door.

"You're bag!" Alex called out and the taller girl immediately stopped, turned around, picked up her large purse near the couch and turned around again only to stop at the door and mention to Alex that she made plans with Summer for all of them to hang out.

"So…a double date sort of thing?" Alex asked, leaning over the counter, her arms supporting her body.

"Yeah, I guess so, her and Seth, but its always her and Seth, meet me after school and then I have a lot of work to do so…"

"You won't be staying here tonight?" Alex questioned, disappointment seeping out. A slight smile played around the corners of Marissa's lips knowing it was sweet that Alex cared.

"No, but you said Liv was going to be back, you can spoil her," Marissa tried to soften the blow, aware that they had grown used to falling asleep together. Even if they weren't living together, they made a point to try to go to sleep with the other one present.

"Yeah, I'll see you after your classes then," Alex nodded and with that Marissa headed out the door. After she closed the door Alex picked up the plate and silverware, washing it off and put everything in the sink in the dishwasher. Deciding to turn it on before she decides to go to work she went upstairs, took a quick shower and dressed in a pain of dark grey pants, a black v-neck shirt and a white jacket. She looked less casual than usual but really she took whatever was at the front of her closet. Rushing downstairs she turned on the dishwasher and was out the door.

The eight minute ride to her work was filled with music and contemplation. If Marissa wasn't going to spend the night how was she going to stay busy to beat away the boredom? _Ohhh that's right, I can make a few calls, first Summer, if not Summer then…Julie Cooper._ Stopping herself from cringing at the thought, forcing herself to not be affected by the older Cooper.

Alex parked the car and headed in for a full days work, feeling…somewhat rested and sat at her desk, checking over the proposals of certain clients, expectations/demands of others and the new contracts that had been drawn up. Tweaking and altering a few things here and there the time flew by and soon enough she only had two more hours left until she had to meet up at the school.

"Look at you, going to see a client later?" Jody asked from the doorway as she looked her friend over.

"No, didn't care and this was quick," she said with a shrug.

"Huh, you look like you're going to a photo shoot," she commented back without much interest. "Anyway, I brought Liv with me, when you head out, make sure to take her with you," Jodie noted.

"Will do," she said and looked back over at the computer screen.

"She may…" Jodie started wearily, aware that Alex seemed distracted and was taking advantage of it, "have gained some weight, because she basically ate a whole chicken," she finished quickly.

"That's good, have the papers in to me tomorrow, wait, what?! You let my dog eat an entire chicken?" Alex said looking at her friend annoyed.

"It was roasted…healthy and lean…" she tried.

"She's tiny, hell Jody, she's not even the size of a chicken!" She said getting up so she could go see her dog.

"I know, she just…sort of helped herself to it. She didn't eat any bones, in fact she was pretty happy. She looked pleased with herself, smiles and everything, then she passed out," Jody said in a rush.

"You know that your visitation rights are now revoked," Alex said in a serious, deadpan tone. Jody's face fell and looked liked something died.

"I'm joking. You can have Liv, on the weekends. No chicken. Nothing over a fourth of the size she is," Alex teased and felt a pain on her shoulder from Jody's not so gentle, playful slap.

"Every other weekend," Alex stated after the hit only to receive an eye roll from Jody.

"You seem like you're in a good mood. I almost stopped by your place last night after Liv passed out but figured you and Marissa were asleep, but based on your very forgiving attitude I'm going to assume you got little sleep because…and my thoughts stop there," she said in a detective manner but didn't want to think about her ex girlfriend having sex with someone else.

After Jodie's small rambling Alex looked at her watch and realized she now had a little over an hour left of work. Sighing she looked over at her close friend then the paperwork she had to finish.

"I'm gone, I'm leaving, Liv will be wandering into your office in an hour," at that she pivoted and walked back to her office.

Picking up another folder and alternating her gaze from the computer screen back to the paperwork Alex kept working, ordering new materials, sending a few emails, checking in with a few contractors, a few designers that were requested and more paper. To her surprise she felt something step on her shoe and looked down seeing two big eyes.

"Liv, baby, how are you?" She asked, bending down and picking her up, welcoming the distraction. Cradling the puppy in the nook of her arm Alex did notice the weight gain.

"Liv Freya," she scolded. "No more chicken for you," she said looking down at the puppy who looked at her sadly and then licked the inside of Alex's elbow making her laugh.

"That's cheating," she said down at the puppy who now looked happier. Looking at the clock she got up quickly, realizing she was going to be late to meet Marissa. Saving her work, organizing the papers and shutting off the screen she fixed her jacket, kept Liv tucked into her body and headed out the door.

Another ten minutes later, with music blasting out of the Jeep, carrying over its surroundings more prominently because it lacked a top. She saw Marissa turn her body towards her and give her a smirk. Standing next to her was Summer and of course Seth.

Getting out of her car but leaving Liv resting on the seat she crossed over the campus and came beside Marissa, slipping a hand behind her and resting her hand on her lower back.

"Hi," she said lightly once she was comfortable. Summer for her part was considerate and said hello, exchanging her hospitality while Seth looked at them almost on the verge of drooling.

"You look nice Alex," Summer offered.

"Ah thanks, grabbed whatever was at the front of the closet." She said back casually.

"See Coop? The girl can clean up. Look at her. If you ask me, you should be a little worried which one of you has more fashion sense in your relationship," Summer stated bluntly.

"Sum," Marissa said, raising her voice.

"What? The dance, ball, gala, big Newport event of the month is coming up," the short brunette rambled, "and you wanted Alex to go with you, I'm just saying she looks nice and she didn't even try." Summer supplied.

"Yeah well, Alex isn't going to want to dress up as a princess," Marissa said back.

"Good point Coop. Alex and princess don't really go together, I mean I just can't see it. In what twisted universe is Alex a princess?" Summer commented back.

"I'm right here," Alex said, breaking them out of their conversation and growing somewhat annoyed that Summer and Marissa seemed to have low expectations of her.

"Happens to me all the time," Seth noted, "Accept it and move on," he suggested, offering the little wisdom her had in dealing with the two best friends but Alex only rolled her eyes and was then disturbed to find that Marissa may have been right, she and Seth do have some parallels.

"Okay, fine. Alex, will you take me to the prom?" she mumbled the last word, "and be my princess?" She finished with a cheeky grin. Lifting an eyebrow at this Alex only looked at her girlfriend.

"Yeah," she let out, thinking it over for two seconds at most.

"Really?" Marissa asked surprised.

"Seriously?" Summer said a second after, stunned. Seth only made a whipping motion with his hand and added the sound effect.

"Seth," Alex warned, edging on what could be considered a cold tone.

"Why yes Alex, what can I do for you?" he countered back.

"Less talking, less…"

"Less clothes between you and Marissa," he cut in and immediately felt a slap to the back of the head from Summer.

"Cohen!" She said, clearly annoyed and creeped out by her boyfriend's comment.

"And you say I'm like Seth," Alex whispered to Marissa. "You owe me if he keeps this up," she continued and smiled as she heard Summer threaten to go rage black out on his scrawny ass if he kept thinking about her best friend that way.

"Really Cohen!" She said exasperated when she was done with her rant and beating him with her tiny fist and purse.

Sighing Alex breathed in deeply and tried to steer the conversation someplace else while she felt Marissa slip her hand into her own.

"Who's hungry?" At that suggestion everyone stopped what they were doing. Summer stopped flailing, Seth stopped cowering and repeating the phrase god woman and Marissa waited patiently considering she was being entertained.

"To the bat mobile!" Seth said excitedly with his fist in the air.

"To the diner," Summer commanded after she rolled her eyes at her boyfriend, sounding completely normal and in control of the situation and walked towards her car leaving the others to follow her.

That girl could either solve world peace or either take it away in a matter of seconds if the world ever got it. She's like a little general. Alex thought and leaned against her jeep.

Resting her hand on the top of the door Marissa threw her bag into the bag seat and was immediately shocked to see Liv jump up and bark, giving her a cute hello.

"Oh my god Coop you didn't say Alex had a dog. And an adorable one!" Summer started gushing. Seth pushed Marissa out of the way and reached over into the Jeep, picking up Liv who kept staring at Marissa.

"Seth, give her to Marissa," Alex said in a way that was clearly a command and knowing not to argue with Alex, Seth handed her over and immediately Liv's entire body started to shake her tail was wagging so much. Sighing the former blonde got into her Jeep and looked over at Marissa.

"You aren't spending the night, remember? Why did you put your bag in here?" She asked gently, hoping Marissa had changed her mind, but didn't want to seem obvious about her eagerness to have Marissa to curl up with.

"Oh yeah, habit," she said sadly and grabbed her purse from the backseat.

"Make you a deal," Alex tried and Marissa raised her eyebrows, the only way to convey she was listening because she was getting puppy kisses from Liv all over her face.

"I'll go to your ball…thing, you can even pick out the dress if you sleep over tonight," she attempted with a bribe.

"I'd love to, but I really can't. I need to do all this work and a couple projects. Summer's spending the night, we haven't spent much time together," Marissa said, clearly torn between her girlfriend and her best friend.

Alex felt bad for her and backed off. "Sorry. Yeah. True. Okay so I'll meet you all at the diner," she nodded at the end of her statement. Marissa was about to turn around but Alex called out to her.

"Ah babe…" she said, knowing the lighter brunette had forgot something…

"Yeah?" Marissa asked, curious.

"You might need to give me back Liv while you drive, she can sleep over at your place if you want," she offered, just to make Marissa feel better.

"Oh…and no, you'll be lonely tonight baby, you should keep her," Marissa noted gently and with consideration as she set Liv back down on the seat. "I'll see you in a few," she said and pet Liv's head again before she turned and walked to her car.

Shifting her body into a more comfortable position Alex stared straight ahead and then at the gear shift.

When she looked up again she was shocked, to say the least, to find Seth drumming his index finger's on her door and even more surprised that Summer wasn't there beside him, taking into account that he was similar to a tumor, always next to the small but intimidating woman.

Looking at Seth, she instinctively glared at him seeing his oh so happy and smart-alec smirk as he continued to stand there but as it looked as though he was about to say something, instead he brought his hand up again and made the whipped motion, again accompanied with cliché noise.

Scampering away Alex knew it was pointless to call out back to him, content that she would see him soon and be able to if not physically harm him, she could at least verbally abuse him. Seeing as how she wouldn't want to deprive Summer her pleasure of reminder her boyfriend she was in charge. Smirking she reversed out of the parking lot and headed to the diner.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: I have most of the fic worked out in my head but the ending isn't in site so please review since it encourages me to update sooner. Hope you enjoy it, I'll be including more drama. As much as I enjoy writing the banter, teasing and sweet, endearing moments they need drama. Any suggestions-feel free to write them in any reviews, much appreciated. Actually please review because I think this chapter is long. Also I'm fully aware when referring to films you italicize them and underline books but I don't care t the moment and you'll understand it anyway.

* * *

The diner, much to Alex's surprise wasn't that bad considering how much Seth opened his mouth and continued to make comments. He would occasionally ask Marissa questions ranging from 'how ever did she find an invisible whip?' to 'how did it feel to be a bottom?' which only made Alex arch an eyebrow knowing her girlfriend surprisingly had a tendency to be a top and look between the annoying human that people knew as Seth and at the moment considered a grapefruit. _The kid is just not getting it, he's that dumb, I bet he's going to end up with bruises._

"Woman, aaaah, I bruise like a peach," he said as he held up his arms from Summer's tiny fist and Alex had to admit fast hits.

_I was wrong about the kind of fruit._ Alex thought and smiled at their interactions and then smiled more widely when she felt Marissa rest her hand on her thigh under the table signaling her Marissa was happy they were getting along in an odd way and also that she had no intention of answering Seth's questions. Just as Seth regained his composer and opened his mouth with a bit of glee in his eye, which Alex assumed was really a glimmer of evil mixed with the little boy who eats ice cream for a night cap sort or way, the food came.

"Here's everything," the waitress said placing the food on the table and grabbing the glasses to refill their soda or coffee. To make a point that she didn't want to talk and also because she was hungry, hearing her stomach growl after the food was set in front of her Alex picked up her fork and started eating her Caesar salad_. (Random note: I love Caesar salad and rarely can I find a vegetarian one! Yeah, the base is made of fish-why?!)_About five bites into her salad she got bored and started eating her cheeseburger. Reaching over Marissa grabbed a fry off of her plate and looked at her happily. Pushing her plate closer to Marissa she nodded her head slightly as she ate, knowing she didn't care about the fries, she couldn't eat it all and didn't want to anyway. Marissa lightly smiled back at her and then grabbed the ketchup.

"Awww you have a routine," Seth said after he was finished with his own mouthful of food. Shrugging Alex couldn't really say anything, they never really went out. _Not really, we've never eaten out before, we'd order in or I'll make breakfast but we don't go out._ And then it hit her. _We don't go out. We don't leave, we go to each other's houses or we go to the beach and sit. Huh._ She thought and let out a deep sigh after the realization. Then she felt a pair of eyes on her and looked up to see Summer looking at her intently but Alex brushed it off for the moment and continued eating. Taking in Alex's demeanor she shifted her gaze to look at Marissa.

"So Coop, two projects…each about five pages," Summer started unenthusiastically. "We'll finish around three at the latest I figure."  
Alex looked up, feeling bad for both girls.

"Yeah, I'm just not into doing a paper on Frankenstein, its just overdone." Marissa said without interest as she continued to eat the fries off Alex's plate.

"That makes it easy then, you'll have sources and a range of perspectives. And it can't be that bad, I mean the book was written because she had a dream and then she went with it. It has a lot of humanity to it and responsibility and guilt, there's the romantic element thrown in but really I think there's a good range of emotions. You have a creature who's incredible lonely and he's really more or less a child walking around looking intimidating and the first thing people do is cower away of course, where as you have other monsters like vampires that are considered mysterious and beautiful and people throughout literature are drawn to them, there's a lot to talk about. Also you could go into the ethics of it, is the creature a human being or property? Does he have his own autonomy, is he capable of rational thought? Is he more superior than the scientists who made him because of his mentality? Etc, etc," Alex said waving her fork around.

"Alright Coop, I nominate nerd Alex to write our paper," Summer said with certainty leaving Marissa to look at Alex in a sweet, pleading way.

"No," Alex said not leaving any room for debate.

"What good is it dating a geek if I don't get any perks?" Marissa grumbled.

"You can call if you get stuck or need help," Alex offered and went back to eating, only to see Summer still staring at her.

"You're all smart," Summer said, letting her words sink in.

Nodding her head slowly, Alex kept eating.

"Why the 'go away, don't talk to me unless I talk to you' attitude. I mean the punk look sort of…gives off the not so intellectual look," Summer softened but was clearly curious.

"Should I dress like a librarian?" Alex asked, wondering and looked over at Marissa who looked off in her head.

"No, that'd be weird," Summer said.

"But oddly hot," Marissa mumbled into her hand and Alex pretended she didn't catch that for the sake of avoiding an awkward conversation with Seth and Summer. Instead she squeezed her thigh under the table and let her fingertips press against the inside of her leg, sliding over her skin.

"The punk movement, part of is focused on rebellion, its saying…yeah, we acknowledge mainstream society but push against it, the image isn't suits and doesn't have the intention of fitting in and conforming, through outward appearances its sticking it to "the man"," she finished with air quotes. "And I've met a lot of punk people who are intelligent and read a lot, its not just about pushing against your parent's expectations or your family's or school or society as a whole, its sometimes about being conscious of your economy, I know very few punks who shop at Wal-mart because they use child labor, they steal people's life insurance through a loop hole, they don't take much consideration towards their employees, so they don't support monopolies, they'll support free trade, I know very few punks who are in support of warfare, a lot of friends I know support local artists or have been involved in helping the ecosystem…many people won't involved themselves in belonging to a religious group because they believe in the separation or church and state and its generally acknowledged that more wars have been fought over religion than any other cause so people don't want to affiliate themselves with that. Overall, I think the punk "movement"," she said again with air quotes using her hands, "has been given a relatively negative connotation because it implies immaturity based on lookism," Alex finished diplomatically.

"Well hell, look at that Coop, hooked yourself a smart one," Summer said in somewhat awe and Marissa only shrugged nonchalantly but had a sly, content smile on her face as though giving away the fact that she was already aware that she had a smart girlfriend and she had her. Marissa only smiled back at Summer and then offered a content, knowing smile to Alex.

"I need another milkshake," Seth said in a slightly whinny boys voice as he looked around for the waitress.

"God Cohen, way to ruin the moment," Summer said annoyed.

"That is his job Summer. Don't deny him that privilege. He practically has it on his resume," Alex said in all seriously, her tone dead even though she was clearly teasing.

"Right you are Alex," Summer said squinting her eyes and looking pensive.

"There's only so much girl talk a man can take," Seth said sitting up straighter, "a milkshake is necessary to help me through this long ordeal of female bonding," Seth said in his odd quirky way leaving each girl to roll their eyes at him or make a Pfft noise in response, not really bothering to engage in a verbal fight of who can carry on the witty repartee better. They continued to eat until Marissa's phone rang thirty seconds later.

"What?" She answered, annoyed after looking at her phone's screen. "No, I'm staying at Summer's tonight, I have projects to do. No, I probably won't be at the house tomorrow either." Then she paused and listened to the person on the phone get louder until she was holding the phone away from her ear. Looking at Alex she mouthed "sorry" silently and pointed to the front door of the diner. Getting up, still holding the phone away from her ear she left the booth they were in and walked away stiffly and seemed bored.

"Ah Julie Cooper, she always knows how to clear a room even when she's not here," Seth noted. Alex only nodded and suddenly got a wave of energy.

"I need to know a couple numbers from you Summer, before Marissa comes back," she said while she took her phone out of her pocket.

"Oooookay," Summer said, looking at her oddly.

"It's for Marissa's birthday," Alex supplied.

"Plans, being sneaky, secretive, going behind Marissa's back, Alex you really are starting to warm to Newport," Seth teased. "So you should share because that's just rude and might I add you always seem busy so you may need my assistance," he mentioned.

"There's absolutely no way I'm going to include you on this. You have a big mouth and I'm sure Summer will figure it out but I can't tell you because you're a spaz and are utterly incapable of keeping anything a surprise, thus defeating the point of surprising." Alex noted and turned her attention back to Summer who looked at Seth who now seemed sad.

"The woman speaks the truth," she said honestly. "So go…look out on the pier for a while," She said pushing him out of the booth gently.

"Fine, but when I come back you owe me another milkshake," Seth said and sulked away, though Alex had to admit it was cute that he did what he was told.

"Alright," Summer said and turned back to Alex, "who's numbers do you need?" She asked in a businesslike tone.

The next few minutes flew by in a rush with Alex asking questions, trying to avoid Julie Cooper knowing, how to go about the plans and if it would even work.

"But you don't have to get an extra car, renting is a hassle and its no big deal," Summer offered nicely.

"You have a car just lying around?" Alex questioned, lifting an eyebrow.

"No, the step-monster is on some new meds that says on a big bold label do not operate heavy machinery, may cause dizziness, and so she won't be using her car for a while," Summer said in a detached tone.

"Alright, if you don't mind," Alex said, finding Summer's consideration rather heart warming taking into account that they really didn't know each other very well but it seemed it was in her nature to be a giving person.

"It's really no problem, it'll make Coop happy and you make her happy so I'm in full support," Summer said with absolute certainty and again Alex was pleasantly startled by how thoughtful Summer is which made Alex smile at the comment.

Right at that moment Seth decided to stand next to the table and Alex snapped her phone shut, hiding the new name from his view.

"I'm in the mood for a strawberry milkshake now," he said looking at Summer as he sat down who rolled her eyes but looked at him with love at the same time.

When the waitress passed their table Summer requested Seth's desired beverage and was about to order another soda for herself when Marissa sat down again looking a bit on edge. After the waitress left Summer looked at her best friend who was now glaring at her food.

"What did that burger ever do to you Coop?" Summer asked in a light way clearly trying to draw her friend out of her frustration.

"My mom wants me to sleep in the house tomorrow night, she said it's a new rule just to make sure I'm still alive," she said in an overly dramatic way, mocking her mother's own drama. "I'm still saying at your house tonight but," she broke off and turned her body to Alex, "I can't spend the night tomorrow, I'm sorry," Marissa said, her voice annoyed and tense knowing that she wasn't the one who should be apologizing.

"Its okay, I have a feeling I'll be getting a call from you to sneak in anyway," Alex said with a smirk and Marissa immediately perked up.

"See this is why I keep you around, you're quite the intellectual," Marissa said with a toothy grin as she leaned in and kissed Alex on the cheek, not caring that she was with Seth, considering she didn't have to worry about Summer commenting. Holding up his hands and forming a frame Seth looked serious as he stared through his fingers.

"Okay, this time, more lips and…" Summer abruptly cut him off by hitting him in the side with her elbow and he stopped.

Thankfully the waitress came over at the moment to give Seth his milkshake and immediately he took the straw and began drinking leaving Alex to sigh and Marissa to sit back in the booth more comfortable, the tension draining out of her. They sat in silence for the next five minutes as they ate the rest of their food. The comfortable silence was a nice break for them since their day in school and Alex's time at work. When they were done Seth got up and stretched.

"Did that burly man meal take a lot out of you Seth?" Alex teased knowing the two milkshakes and cheesy fries was more like watching a kid eat.

"It takes a certain man to be able to handle all that awesomeness," Seth said as he nodded slowly with complete seriousness making Alex and the rest of them laugh or chuckle at him. Before they left they all threw down their money and with plenty left over for a nice tip and left.

"I'll maaaaaybe see you tomorrow," Alex said jokingly, aware that it was inevitable and then Marissa held her hand and gave a squeeze.

"You're just a booty call away," Marissa teased back which made Alex's jaw drop just a bit. Leaning in and kissing Alex on the cheek again she got into her car. Getting into her Jeep Alex pet Liv's head who was more than content at having slept on the front seat with the sun on her and a light breeze present. Petting the dog's head, she started the car to head to her place.

The rest of the night was her usual routine, feeding Liv, watching a movie, taking the growing puppy on a walk, making the calls, which to her delight went well since she had never talked to the person but was relieved that everything was going through without barriers or any issues.

After that was done she made herself a quick meal and ate that while Liv sat at her feet. Then she worked on the rest of the plan, checking a few things on her lap-top, took a shower and settled in; climbing into bed and reading the remainder of the book she had half finished the day before.

When the book was finished she set it back down on the side table, shut off the light and looked at the clock, seeing that it was almost 12:30. rolling over onto her side she focused on relaxing to get to sleeping, avoided thinking about Julie's new rule about Marissa sleeping in her own house once a week, which really wasn't bad. It wasn't as though she wanted Marissa to live with her, that was a bad idea. She knew she had a better apartment, she had changed since they were last together, things were different but she had to admit she liked having her own space for a while and didn't want to rush into anything. Sighing she decided to think about her plans that were coming together but was forced to focus on her phone ringing instead. Snatching her cell phone off the side table she flipped it open.

"Yeah?" She said as she laid back down into the mattress, pulling the dark blue blanket around her more.

"I didn't wake you did I?" Marissa asked concerned.

"Nope, what do you need to know?" Alex said cutting to the chase.

"How did you know it was about the paper?" Marissa asked, a tone of disbelief coming out. "Maybe I was calling to say goodnight," she added.

"Yeah and I'm a princess," Alex said back sarcastically, mocking Marissa for their earlier conversation at school.

"I could have been calling to say goodnight," she grumbled stubbornly.

"Sure babe," Alex said humoring her girlfriend though not believing her, "so the paper…" she said trying to get her on track, aware of Marissa's disliking of academia.

"We're still going to write it on Frankenstein but for the other we decided to write about society as a whole, specifically suburbia and how basically it's a lie," Marissa said.

"Ooookay, in what context?" Alex asked, interested in the change of topic.

"Well we get to choose a movie or an array of them and discuss the concepts behind it so I was thinking since I hate this town, what better way to comment on it than through a paper?" Marissa asked no one.

"Alright. Then….you could use American Beauty, Revolutionary Road, Little Children, Ghost World, which I really wasn't a fan of, The Stepford Wives, Edward Scissorhands, Lars and the Real Girl, Pleasantville, Inventing the Abbots, The Virgin Suicides, Life as a House, and if you're allowed to write on TV you could use…"

"Slow down," Marissa cut her off. "I'm writing these down, Jesus Alex you're like an encyclopedia. Who are you?" Marissa said humorously though with some exasperation since she didn't expect Alex to ramble.

"I'm Alex, I like long sits on the beach, cause walking is really just too much effort sometimes," she replied in a smart-alec way.

"Aren't you clever?" Marissa teased her.

"You're the one who called me to use my brain," Alex said as she rolled on her side and got more comfortable.

"Okay so…you were saying," Marissa said.

"Alright…if you're allowed to use TV shows you can use Weeds, which has the perfect theme song, Madmen, Desperate Housewives that is really campy in my opinion and over the top to show just how ridiculous suburbia is, Family Guy, The Simpsons, South Park and Friday Night Lights are all that come to mind," she said and tried to stifle a yarn.

"Are you tired?" Marissa asked nicely.

"No, I mean yeah," she said slowly.

"Okay well I can discuss this with Summer," Marissa said quietly.

"No, I have a feeling neither of you know half of the things I mentioned so I'll give you ten minutes," Alex offered, not bothering to open her eyes anymore.

"Thanks baby," Marissa said softly.

"Alright so American Beauty unless like a lot of films with narration adds to the message instead of taking away, it crushes the little details about suburbia, how everything is in a neat order, how outward appearances are lies and maintained to ensure that people perceive you a certain way, its homogeneous after a while, everyone starts to become the same, there isn't a sense of diversity but its also how giving into that ideal of everything being okay is obvious just a cover to mask people's personal dramas while they're usually having nervous breakdowns." Revolutionary Road is based on the book that pretty naturalistic in terms of writing style, it goes into detail about a lot of things and the movie, like the novel is about feeding into the notion that your life is suppose to be a certain way, office job, wife, kids, its set in the 50's so its all about how dreams in a way are lost and pushed back in people's minds when they live in the burbs. Little Children is about a pedophile living in a community and people become fixated on him but also how these couples aren't happy in their marriage but that stay in it because it feels secure and its become routine, personally I liked the book better, the ending was darker. Um…you could to a feminist critique on the Stepford Wives and say they men want control so that they can feel powerful and women are forced to give up their autonomy for the sake of society running smoothly. Basically you can say people become mindless. I'm over simplifying it, Tim Burton's movie is gothic and shows that an individual can't stay in a town that has one mentality, Lars and the Real Girl is beautiful actually, its about a small town, not really suburbia but its about people accepting this one guy that's lonely who invents a girlfriend by having a life size human doll, they support him later on and that movie is more about family coming together so you might not want to use it," Alex took a deep breath, getting more tired. "The Virgin Suicides," she continued, "is about these girls who keep committing suicide because they hate their lives for some reason. Because their lives are mundane or they feel trapped, either way they don't really ever talk about it in detail, the town just whispers about it so you could say that secrets are kept to the detriment of the people in the town, it's based on the book. You saw Pleasantville, right?" She asked before she carried on.

"Yeah, we got that covered." Marissa noted.

" Kay so…Inventing the Abbots is based after the book and is again about keeping up with appearances and how it's a power struggle with tiny dramas to display power," Alex finished with another yawn.

"Awww baby, you don't have to help," Marissa said and Alex heard Summer say in the background, "You call her baby?"

"Yeah I do," Marissa said but Alex heard it muffled, assuming Marissa had her phone pressed against her shoulder, "She's like a teddy bear," she said nonchalantly.

"Huh, to you," Summer scoffed. "I picture Alex more as a pet pitbull," Summer supplied.

"What! Why?" Marissa asked, raising her voice.

"She's all sweet to you but she'll kick someone's ass if they threaten you in some way, its endearing actually," the shorter brunet said.

"I'm sure she was that way with Jodie," Marissa said and then Alex heard her clearer.

"Hardly," she said to her girlfriend.

"Hardly what?" Marissa asked.

"The way I am with you isn't how I was with Jodie," Alex said back factually.

"You heard all that?" Marissa asked, sounding appalled.

"There's a mute button on your phone I think, you just don't seem to know where it is," Alex teased. "And I'm not a pet pitbull or a teddy bear,"  
Alex said, her voice rising as she grew defensive.

"Uh huh, right Alex," Marissa said disbelieving.

"Denial." She heard Summer proclaim in the background.

"So the only TV shows we don't know are Weeds and Madmen and…Friday Night Lights." Marissa said changing the topic back to the reason for the call.

"Okay go online, listen to the theme song of Weeds and you'll have that summed up for you. Its great though because the show points out just how manipulative and contradicting people are. For example one woman is part of a town council and she tries to persuade kids to stay off drugs and sets up video surveillance of the whole town and later on she's proving a place for her friends to maintain a grow house. Madmen takes place in the 50's which was really when gender roles were heavily in place and people swept the knowledge of affairs, adultery, deals under the table. Look it up online, I only watched a few episodes but it's well done. (Fact: I've only watched one episode and liked it) Friday Night Lights takes place in a small town where the focus is football, rather homo erotic sport if you ask me," Alex mumbled going off on a small tangent.

"So I think its about a bread and circus act, you get people distracted by a pointless sport to really care about things, but in a way its about the people's lives on a personal level, I just don't give a shit about football so I honestly don't know much about the show," Alex said tiredly.

"I'm learning so much about you," Marissa said amused.

"You thought I liked football?" Alex asked, almost appalled if she had the energy to care.

"Nope, just that you're in denial about that you're sweet," Marissa noted and quickly added, "so you and Jodie were different from you and…" she continued slowly, both aware of the abrupt transition in subject matter.

"I'm in love with you, I was never in love with Jodie," Alex said calmly, cutting Marissa off.

"Oh," was Marissa's short answer. "I love you too, I wish I was there," she added sweetly, a sense of longing in her tone.

"What am I like chopped liver here?" Came Summer's comical voice that cut through the seriousness of the phone conversation making Alex and Marissa laugh lightly.

"Tell Summer g'night for me and I wish you were here too but I guess I'll see you in two days," Alex said and tried not to sound disappointed but failed.

"And that's why you're a teddy bear," Marissa said sweetly.

"A pet pitbull," Summer called out in a tone that implied she was correcting Marissa.

"Ugh," Alex growled half asleep.

"You might be right Summer," Alex heard Marissa call out to her best friend but it was obvious Marissa intentionally let Alex hear their conversation.

"Goodnight, try to get to sleep before three and good luck on your papers," Alex said

"Night Alex," Marissa said sweetly and then hung up the phone leaving Alex to hang up the phone and fall asleep into a deep sleep minutes later.

When she woke up she rushed, took a quick shower, got dressed in slim black pants with a grey tank top underneath a dark blue tank top. Grabbing a juice, feeding Liv, putting the dishes in the washer and pushing the buttons for all the settings she finally picked up Liv and was out the door on her way to work.

Immediately when she got there Jodie came up to her and ranted about how they needed to fire an employee. Since the employee wasn't a friend and had been there for a short while it was easy to see that he was slacking and didn't put much effort it. He also let orders slip and so after Alex let him off, choosing to do it instead of Jodie so he still had a head left she was directed to numerous people to organize the mess he left behind. That alone took most of her day, in fact she stayed late fixing and arranging all the details to the previous demands for the clients.

Finally at eight o'clock she was finished and had a headache. Pinching the bridge of her nose she sat back and tried to smile when Jodie set a mocha on her desk.

"Thanks," she said and grabbed it, tossing the lid into the trash and blowing on it.

"I expected this fucking chaos to last for days," the shorter girl said as she leaned back in the chair that was placed before Alex's desk.

"I don't have time for that, the orders needed to be put in and I have to work at the Bait Shop in three days," she said without any energy.

"You're going to be busy," Jodie said and nodded slowly.

"I'm going to be even more busy,\. I need to get back to the apartment and clean and make a few calls before ten," Alex said with a sigh.

"Plans and more plans, try not to wear yourself thin," Jodie said back with care causing Alex to lightly smile and continue drinking her mocha.

"Want to take Liv for three days next week?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, no problem, the plans?" Jodie asked, wondering why Alex asked and was being secretive or not no much secretive as unwilling to offer any details.

"I'm going to be distracted, but it'll be three days at most. I'm not excluding her. I just don't want to have to focus on everything," she said and tried to cover her yawn.

"Time for you to go home," Jodie said and stood up herself, stretching as she did so.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she said back with a lazy wave as she didn't look at Alex but was nearly out of the office.

"Alright girl, ready?" Alex asked looking down at a pair of big eyes and a wagging tail.  
Liv jumped up on her leg and the former brunette bent to pick her up. Carrying her puppy in one arm and her mocha in her hand she turned off the lights and went out the her Jeep, locking up the store and then headed home.

Once there she set Liv down, turned on her iPod, put some food in the dog bowl and went upstairs to plug in her phone while she made the calls.

"Hello Alex," Summer said in a weird fortune teller way.

"Ah hi Summer so you'll drop off the car tomorrow? Marissa has to stay at her mom's and Seth is driving you back because I would take you back but I have work or you could swing by later that night, it'll be easier" Alex said feeling bad for the inconvenience.

"Yeah, great and its really not a big deal Alex. It'll all go fine. So everything is good?" Summer asked.

"Yeah, I'm just going to make the call and see what else I should get for the next couple days," Alex said as she laid back on her bed.

"It'll be easy. Coop will love it to say the least," Summer said happily and with her usual conviction.

"Alright, I don't know what to expect and I don't expect much really but I'm going to go make the call. I'll see you in a couple days. You know to stop by when Marissa's over, right?" Alex questioned.

"Absolutely."

"Great, bye Summer," Alex said nicely but tiredly.

"Bye little pitbull," Summer teased just to bother Alex and hung up.

"Ugh," Alex said to herself as she ended the call and went through her contacts to call someone else.

"Hi, yeah," she said and paused.

"I hope you're doing good, yeah…" Alex said and the conversation went on from there as Liv barked to be let out. The rest of the night Alex was on the phone for the next half hour writing down notes, taking Liv outside, cleaning the rooms, sweeping the floors, doing her laundry all while she was on the phone.

"Alright, yeah, enjoy yourself, bye," she said and hung up, tired from having to be constantly moving. The buzzer to the dryer went off and she got up again, getting her clothes, taking them upstairs and put them in her closet after she pressed play on her iPod again. When she was finally done she took her I-Pod deck player in the shower and stripped, listening to calm music and then stepped in. She didn't come out for a half hour, a long shower for her standards.

Slowly getting out, feeling more relaxed she turned her iPod off, got a pair of underwear on and nothing else. Laying in bed for nearly three minutes after turning off the light she drifted off to sleep quickly and slept soundly.

Again with morning came she slammed her hand down on the alarm, annoyed at having to be disturbed by such a god awful sound.  
_That's it, I'm setting up my I-Pod to be my alarm, no I'm going to get a CD alarm clock and then I'll be happier when a wake up and Marissa will be less grumpy…Marissa…ah she won't get to sleep over today. No big deal…its not like I'm used to her being over…_Alex tried to reason to herself. Grudgingly she pushed the covers away and was shocked by the coldness, forgetting that she was only wearing underwear she practically jogged to the shower for the warm water.

Ten minutes later she was clothed in very light pink, almost white v neck t-shirt with a quirky, random design on it, then dark jeans and she grabbed her notes that she had left on the counter, folding them and putting them in her shoulder bag. She was out the door and heading to work five minutes later with Liv in her usual passenger seat.

For the next eight hours she focused on getting her work done with little distraction from Jodie or anyone else having sensed that Alex was set on getting her objective done, which seemed to be get the usual amount of work done that gets finished in five days done in one. Alex took another sip from her sixth cup of coffee…  
_  
Or is it eighth, I lost count. I'm really not an atheist, coffee is my god._ Alex thought to herself and was about to take another sip when Jodie said threateningly from the doorway, "Put the cup down and no one gets hurt." Smirking back Alex quirked an eyebrow but put it down.

"Mind if you take Liv today? I'll take her back tomorrow," she said and focused her attention on her friend rather than the paperwork.

"Can do," Jodie said and leaned against the door.

"I just have a feeling Marissa's going to call me and I don't want to leave her alone," Alex said and looked down at her puppy who was sleeping.

"Alright and then you'll stop being stressed the hell out?" Jodie asked bluntly.

"Likely, if all goes well," she said with a small smile and then went back to work.

The rest of the hours went by quickly, burying herself in her work did that so when it was six o'clock Jodie came by, whistled and Liv followed her out the door, leaving Alex to stay late for another hour.

Cutting herself off at seven, she got up from her chair, feeling stiff, and made her way out.

Immediately she headed to the grocery store and took out the list from her bag once she was parked. Shopping took a forty-five minutes, much longer than her usual time but she had to get a guy to help her with putting a grill in her back seat.

When that was over she was able to get back to her place, take everything inside, put it away and with the aid of a nice neighbor who pulled into their own driveway near her as she got the grill out of her Jeep and set it on her front yard in a non-obtrusive way.

Just as she was pulling off her shirt her phone rang. Taking it off anyway she tossed it in the hamper and answered it, not bothering to look at the screen.

"I feel like climbing a ladder today, know any way you can help me accomplish that?" Alex asked into her phone cheekily.

"Why yes I do, that's great then. You should come over," Marissa said back happily, not bothering to wonder how Alex knew why she was calling.

"Alright, if I must," Alex sighed dramatically, joking back and then the phone call was over. Alex grabbed another shirt out of her closet, a black and white stripped one that formed her body well and grabbed more clothes for work tomorrow, and putting them in her bag. Making her way downstairs again she got in her Jeep and headed to Marissa's who had the ladder already down.

"You're predictable," she said to the taller girl as she swung her leg over the balcony and stood in Marissa's room.

"Yeah, you are too," Marissa challenged, her eyes narrowing while she stepped closer to Alex and pressed her hand on her hip, pulling the shorter girl closer.

"Mmm how so?" She asked but didn't care because she closed the space between herself and Marissa and kissed her, slowly but gave up and  
kissed her hard, craving the way they fit together and how she could make Marissa moan.

After she pulled back Marissa looked at her intently and gave a crooked smile.

"I knew you were going to do that," she said with absolute certainty, one upping Alex. Having no response to that Alex only lifted the bag off her shoulder and let it drop to the floor as she pushed Marissa to the bed, gently holding her waist as she slid her fingertips under her shirt to take it off while Marissa impatiently tried to do the same for Alex but gave up when Alex took Marissa's bottom lip in her own and sucked on it. Her shirt was gone soon after followed by Alex's own shirt and shortly after the rest of their clothes. Twenty minutes later Alex was holding Marissa, the taller girls back pressed against her chest and she kissed her neck and the lighter brunette held her there by placing her hand on the back of Alex's neck, her palm brushing against her jaw.  
"You smell good," Alex said honestly and let her hand trail Marissa's stomach.

"Do you want to go to sleep?" Marissa asked quietly.

"No, do you?" Alex said softly as she grazed her girlfriend's skin, her fingertips sliding along her lower stomach, making circles on her hip bone and back up to her stomach.

"Mmmm no," Marissa said and turned around to press her lips against Alex's in a hungry manner, showing how awake she was.

"Good," Alex got out and kissed Marissa's neck, pulling her closer and moving her body over the taller girls. The next hour was spent trying to make each other tired and they let their bodies finally sink into the mattress, drained of all energy. Kissing each other briefly they resituated themselves so Alex was again behind Marissa, holding her waist, her arm above the sheet as they drifted to sleep.

Inevitably morning came and Alex rushed to take her shower, letting Marissa sleep in a bit longer. The ten minute shower was followed by a quick dressing and then she decided to wake her girlfriend. Kissing her forehead and then her lips softly the sleepy girl began to wake up and immediately took a hand full of material from Alex's shirt and pulls her into an intense kiss.

"Mmmm not much of a conversationist in the morning are you?" Alex said in a smart-ass tone.

"Like you were last night," Marissa said back with sarcasm but her tone was playful, aware that Alex came over, barely said anything and kissed her with obvious intentions.

"I have to go babe. I'll see you tonight around six?" Alex asked as she picked up her bag.

"Yeah," Marissa said and looked her girlfriend over, practically undressing her with her eyes. Turning away before she could think of a reason why she couldn't stay and lay in bed with Marissa she made her way back over to the balcony.

_I could skip work…I am the boss, it has its perks, but Julie's here and Marissa has school…_

"You can leave through the front door, my mom's already gone," Marissa said factually and smirked when she looked back at Alex, fully aware that she had been caught staring at her again. Making her way back over to Marissa she kissed her softly, purposefully not deepening the kiss and pulled away.

"Get out of bed, go to school, pretend like you're interested in what they're teaching or maybe even try to pay attention. See you later." Alex said feigning shock at the idea of Marissa caring about her school work more than she had to and then slipped out the door.  
She made her way downstairs, quickly got in her car and got to work, going through the usual routine except she was more laid back and less tense. This was apparent to Jodie who witnessed and partook in playing fetch outside with Liv for a half hour.  
The rest of the hours moved by quickly and Jodie was happy she didn't have to make another pot of coffee, having mentioned this to Alex who drank an entire batch and more yesterday. But when the day was done she set Liv in her Jeep, heading home and changed into something nice but still casual and comfortable then sat at her laptop on the counter and checked some emails, some from her friend's saying the club they had organized was going really well and they were going to open another one, now that they had the funds and then they thanked Alex saying she needed to come back up again and also mentioned Marissa, all of them hyper aware that she was going to date her. Speaking of the devil the front door opened and Alex smiled, looking up from her computer and continued to read some more work, looking over last minute details for clients.

"You know if you wore glasses I think I might end up attacking you." Marissa supplied with a smirk as she made her way towards the kitchen.

Snapping her fingers together Alex smirked back and said, "Darn my perfect vision."  
Then she looked her girlfriend up and down, in a not so subtle way, unable to help herself seeing Marissa in a fitting mini dress with heels and stopped joking while Marissa moved closer and stood between Alex's legs, her hands on her thighs.

Giving in, not willing to stop herself, although she wanted to ask Marissa how her day was, she leaned forward after the taller girl placed her warm hands on her thighs and kissed her hard, trailing her tongue along her bottom lip, asking for access which Marissa granted. Kissing her back harder Alex felt Marissa pull her closer.

"You look nice," Alex got out in a whisper against Marissa's neck and then dipped her head down to suck and nip at a delicate area making her moan from the back of her throat.

"Babe?" Alex asked, nuzzling into her neck, smelling the skin there that was warm and somewhat like vanilla. Pulling back up so she could look at Marissa fully and give her full attention she slide her hand to her lower back and pressed her palm against the warmth emanating from her skin.

"Happy Birthday," she said softly and gently pressed her lips to Marissa's, remaining soft and brief. When she pulled back Marissa was smiling widely. Bringing her hands up to cup Alex's face she drew her in and pressed her lips against the former blondes in a demanding way wanting to get to the point or more accurately the bed as Marissa tried to prompt Alex to leave the kitchen.

"Mmmm we don't have time," Alex said or more mumbled into Marissa lips.

"Why not?" Marissa asked, curiously, not annoyed at the moment since they were still heatedly making out and Alex conveyed mixed signals by pushing her hands against her ass and pulling her into her.

"Ugh," Alex groaned, finally stopping herself and moved her hands back up to Marissa's sides. She looked over at the clock. "You're present is going to be here and we don't have time, as much as I would like to," Alex ground out, clearly frustrated.

"Awww baby, you know you're very cute when you get frustrated and you're really hot when you look all concentrated on your computer or even with a clip board," Marissa said honestly though playfully. Leaning in, giving up on their small window of time Alex wanted to keep kissing her girlfriend but when she was millimeters away there was a knock at the door.  
Looking puzzled Marissa moved her face back and frowned down at Alex.

"Expecting someone?" She asked while she moved a piece of hair out of Alex's face, placing it behind her ear smoothly.

"Might be the mail guy," Alex shrugged calmly and remained seated since Marissa was still standing between her legs. Another knock at the door sounded and Marissa pulled away making her way over to the door seeing as how she knew Alex wasn't going to make an effort when she was already sitting and she was standing.

Opening the door she looked at the ground, expecting a package to be there but instead there was a small suitcase. Looking up slowly she was at a loss for words.

"Hey Kiddo," Jimmy Cooper said in a seemingly laid back way but failed since it was obvious he was ecstatic and couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Dad!" Marissa almost shouted and threw herself into her dad's arms. "Oh my god, Oh my god!" From the kitchen Alex heard Marissa shrieking, she couldn't imagine what Jimmy's ears were experiencing but looking over at them, he didn't seem to mind at all.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note: Accidently deleted this chapter and had to rewrite it, after I had re-rewritten half of it but then my harddrive failed...now its here. This is the problem with editing and my bad memory. Enjoy the Buffy quotes, this is a long chapter and I didn't realize how dark some of it is and I don't support abusive relationships so hopefully anyone who reads this knows that.

* * *

When Jimmy set his bags down again, this time in the living room, he couldn't take his eyes off his daughter and likewise for Marissa who was still in shock. From her seated position Alex looked on and smirked and waited for her girlfriend and her father to acknowledge her existence.

"Wow Kiddo, look at you, you seem...happier," he said as though he were searching for the word and then finally broke eye contact to look around the apartment. "I think I know why...you don't spend a lot of time with your mother since you're here, which I don't blame you," he continued and stood up straighter trying to stretch his back.

"That is one of the perks," Marissa said and gave a mischievous smile, all of them knowing how much she tried to avoid the older Cooper and then she made her way over to Alex, leaning against the counter but remained physically distant. Watching the interaction Alex didn't mind because Marissa was thrilled, though ecstatic might have been an appropriate word as well. And Alex figured she rarely got to see this much enthusiasm from the taller girl.

"Dad, this is my friend Alex," Marissa said in a formal was, her voice trying to sound more controlled even though she was still giddy and was too energetic to notice Alex flinch when she mentioned the word friend. Though she kept on with the introduction, "Alex, this is Jimmy, but I'm sure you already knew that seeing how you were both scheming behind my back," Marissa said with a smile as she narrowed her eyes at her girlfriend who had already covered her hurt and instead kept her thoughts to herself. Removing herself from the chair she got up and took the few steps towards Jimmy and extended her hand, "Hi, Mr. Cooper," Alex offered.

"Please, call me Jimmy now that we've finally met. And Mr. Cooper makes me feel old," he said and gave a small lop sided smile as Alex leaned against the counter while he placed his hands on his hips in a calm manner.

"I'm sure the flight was long, do you want something to eat or drink?" Alex questioned politely.

"If you have a Corona that would be great," he said and started to take a seat on the high chair that was surrounding the bar counter that was attached to the kitchen.

"Sure," Alex said in a business like way and turned around the get the drink from the fridge, getting one out, snapping it open quickly with the opener from the drawer and setting it in front of Jimmy who looked at her more closely.

"How old are you?" He asked curiously.

"Eighteen," she said diplomatically, not wanting to get into a discussion on underage drinking.

"You look older," he said as he took a swig of his beer leaving Alex to shrug. People always thought she was older, the darker hair helped too, there wasn't much she could comment on so she stood there and allowed her thoughts to take over her attention.

"She used to be a bar tender," Marissa said with a delicate sigh as though she had a sense of nostalgia. The only reason why Alex thought she would long for that was because Marissa used to drink more and hit on her at the bar. She dismissed that and thought over something more pressing...

_I'm a friend...okay...I'm calm...I'm not annoyed...I'm also lying to myself..._

"Ah, Julie mentioned an Alex with blonde hair and a purple streak..." Jimmy started but dwindled off.

"I miss the purple streak," Marissa said longingly as she looked at Alex. A hint of desire visible beneath the surface that she knew no one would notice.

"You made an impression on Julie," he said looking Alex over more carefully. "But you're not exactly the punk type I imagined," he continued then started to laugh as he kept drinking and looking around the apartment briefly. Shrugging, Alex didn't care to comment, at this point she figured it didn't matter what he thought of her. If he believed his daughter and her were friends-his opinion didn't hold as much weight.

"Would you like something to eat?" She asked nicely, though purposefully steering the conversation away from herself and the mention of Julie. "Name it and I can probably make it," she supplied in order to make the options more wide.

"I'm really not that hungry, something light would be great," Jimmy said leaning back in his chair.

"Hm, how about marinated mushrooms?" The former blonde suggested.

"Sounds great, you hungry Kiddo?" Jimmy asked looking from Alex to his daughter who shook her head.

"Alright, mushrooms coming up," Alex noted and turned back to the fridge, getting ingredients out, washing them, grabbing a pan and everything else she needed. She prepared the pan by drizzling some olive oil that had bits of garlic into the pan then picked it up and swirled it around to create an even distribution at the bottom, then turned the flame to medium. She went back to the mushrooms and took the stems off after they were fully washed and then put them in the pan, hearing them sizzle just a bit when they immediately hit the oil. Reaching over, she grabbed a bottle of red wine that was sitting on the almost barren counter and poured a little into the mushrooms, followed by some spices and let them cook some more while she went back to the refrigerator and got a cube of cheese, which she started to grate all while Jimmy and Marissa looked on.

"I know this is very interesting," she said sarcastically, "but you two are suppose to be catching up before..." then she heard a knock at the door. Marissa glared at Alex again who lifted an eyebrow and went to open the door as the shorter girl kept moving the mushrooms and adding ingredients.

"You live here alone?" Jimmy asked as Marissa went to the door.

"Mhm," Alex said as she lifted the mushrooms again.

"Must get lonely, where are your parents?" He asked curiously.

"In L.A. We don't have a rapport so much," Alex said with distance in her voice and turned back around to face Jimmy who nodded slowly and was about to ask another question when they heard a high pitched voice call out.

"Mr. Coop!"

"Summer, how've you been?" Jimmy asked, getting up from the chair and turned towards the two best friends who he knew were attached at the hip.

"Been great," the short brunette said and she gave Jimmy a hug that was casual and not awkward seeing as how they've known one another for years. "How about you?" She asked when she stepped back to look at him.

"You know, not bad. Business is going well, the boats are selling, I got a little condo with a spare room so...if someone I know wanted to one day stop down and stay for a while she could," he said looking over at Marissa who smiled back with a toothy grin. Summer smiled as she looked back and forth between the two Coopers and then stared beyond them at Alex who seemed busy but also tense.

"I'm going to help Alex, make sure she doesn't burn her nice place down, Summer said and exited, leaving Jimmy and Marissa alone, which was her plan but also her intent was to talk to Alex one on one with little distractions.

"Look at you cook, who knew?" Summer said standing next to the older girl as she peered at the food. Alex only shrugged and turned off the stove, grabbed a plate from the cabinet and set it on the counter to begin transferring the mushrooms. Half expecting the former blonde to stay quiet she frowned at Alex and crossed her arms over her stomach. "You just made her really happy and you're brooding. Explain," Summer said quickly but with a bit of empathy could be detected beneath her voice.

"Its nothing worth mentioning," Alex said and placed a bit or parsley on the side of the mushrooms.

"I expected you to be a better liar," Summer said with some amusement and Alex sighed and seemed as though she were about to ask Summer how, when Summer interrupted her. "Your body language and facial expressions give you away," she said knowingly then moved to the other side of the counter to take a seat.

"Do you want something to drink?" Alex countered her comment.

"A water would be awesome," Summer noted enthusiastically as seconds after she was joined by Jimmy and Marissa who took his seat, leaving Marissa to stand but then decided to take Alex's chair so she could face her dad and talk while he ate. Settng the plate before Jimmy and grabbing a fork out of the drawer, she set it on the counter and then put everything else away in the dishwasher. Sighing again she looked at everyone who were engaged in casual conversation and joking and moved towards the winding staircase, purposefully avoiding touching Marissa or meeting Summer's concentrated gaze.

"You don't have to eat that Jimmy if you don't like it, there's plenty of food in the fridge, feel free to grab it," she noted and kept walking.

"Where are you going?" Marissa asked somewhat hurt that she was leaving.

"I'm going to lay down, I don't feel great," Alex lied and made her way up the stairs, not bothering to look at any of them. When she got to her bedroom that didn't necessarily have a wall she could still hear their conversations so she quickly grabbed her shoulder bag and threw some work clothes in, along with her toothbrush, clothes to sleep in and some other small items. Only taking the bare essentials with her she placed them in the small bag. When she was finished she set it to the side and laid down in her bed but didn't pull the covers over her. She didn't feel the need to get that confortable. Instead she grabbed the book that was on her side table and picked up where she left of in The Picture of Dorian Gray.

While she was reading she heard laughter, some light teasing, and then Summer saying she had to go. Something about she and Seth having a late date and that Jimmy could use the car, she left the keys on the small table near the door and let herself out after another round of hugs. At the door she reminded Marissa to tell Alex to feel better, even though Alex could tell in her voice that the girl was sincere it also held implications. A small beep was heard from outside and it was safe to say Seth, like any little boy was growing impatient, Summer departed after another round of hugs. After the door was closed and Marissa and Jimmy talked briefly and heard the older Cooper mention he was tired through a lazy yawn, which made Marissa laugh. She led him to the guest room, showed him the bathroom and gave him towels and other amenities.

Soon Jimmy said goodnight and shut his door, followed by more noises of Marissa placing the dirty dishes and such in the washer and the beer bottle under the sink in the recycling. Finally she made her way upstairs and sat at the edge of the bed, turning her body to look at Alex who was intently reading a book.

"Oscar Wilde, huh?" Marissa asked with some interest evident.

"Someone has to support the gays," Alex tried to joke but her tone made it clear that she was distracted as she kept reading the same sentence over and over since Marissa was now taking her dress off, her skin looking warm under the lighting in the room. Standing up, Marissa went to the dresser, pulled a drawer open, her back turned to Alex and found a t-shirt, leaving her legs bare as she slid into bed even though half of the covers were under Alex. Marissa stared at the former blonde, almost willing her to put her book down, which Alex did a few minutes later, setting it back on her table but she still didn't allow herself to get fully comfortable in bed.

"Are you going to get changed?" The taller girl asked lightly as she pressed her hand against Alex's hip and pulled her closer, almost possessively.

"Maybe," the shorter girl noted distantly but complied to Marissa's movements which forced her to lay on her side, facing the lighter brunette.

"Are you feeling better?" She asked, pulling Alex even closer into her but the brooding girl refused to touch her.

"Sure," she said tensely, knowing Marissa's lips were inches away from her own and against her better judgment she breathed in her perfume that was still lingering on her.

"What're you thinking?" Marissa asked, looking pensive since Alex still hadn't touched her.

"What's the literary term when consonants repeat themselves? I know alliteration is when a vowel repeats itself like...afternoon arrived and apparently Abraham ate apples approximately around..." and then trailed off, not knowing what else to say and then Marissa shifted to look down at her.

"That's random. Why are you thinking that?" The lighter brunette asked, completely curious as to why Alex would care about something such as then when she was laying with her, almost naked, save for only two articles of clothing.

"Because I want a distraction...so I don't stay," Alex paused, searching for the syntax, "upset with you," and then she felt Marissa tense, followed by a look of confusion. "You like me to tell you quotes I remember so much...okay, how about this?" Alex continued. "You're easy to fall in love with but hard to love." She got out.

"Alex..." Marissa said sadly, her eyes already beginning to change to a different shade even while the girl above her tried to place her left hand delicately around the side of Alex's neck, seemingly in a subconscious way to keep holding onto the girl who still wouldn't touch her.

"And I'm thinking you don't kiss your friends," Alex let out in a bitter whisper that barely veiled her anger. At that comment Marissa pulled back and dropped any physical contact she previously had with Alex. Sitting up she created distance and tried to avoid looking at the shorter girl who now sat up stiffly but glanced back at her when she felt the bed shift and Alex stand.

"Where are you going?" She asked gently, her voice betraying her desire to seem calm when it cracked. Sighing Alex looked down at Marissa and let her shoulders drop.

"To Jodie's. You can tell your dad I had to do some work at the office, take care of an emergency, and then ended up staying at a colleagues place." Alex said in a detached way as she grabbed the bag she had packed before and slung it over her shoulder.

"When are you coming back," Marissa asked sadly but remained sitting on the bed, not wanting to try to force Alex to stay due to her brain still processing their interactions and dialog.

"Depends," Alex said tiredly.

"On?" Marissa asked, lifting her eyes to meet Alex's.

"How much work I have, how long Jodie will let me stay," Alex noted but wanted to add-when you figure yourself out. If you want me as a girlfriend, a friend, a friend with benefits...she stopped herself from thinking and clenched her jaw. She knew sexuality was personal, subjective and universal at the same time. She didn't want to force Marissa to declare anything, maybe she didn't like women, maybe she only liked Alex or maybe Alex was just her type and happened to be a girl. But she knew this wasn't the right course of action. She wasn't the one who was suppose to leave, this was her apartment, her apartment where she was letting Marissa's dad stay.

_Forget it, I'll think about it later. _She considered and turned to head down the stairs. Quietly shutting the door and locking it from the outside she got into her jeep and drove to Jodie's listening to music, but she turned it off when she got her phone out of her bag and speed dialed Jodie's number. It picked up on the third ring.

"Still have that couch that's big enough to fit a person?" Alex asked, cutting to the point.

"Never a hello. Ever." Jodie grumbled and kept going, "Yes and I hit my quota this year of you crashing over. I already have a little Kelly over here, isn't that right Liv?" Jodie said changing her voice at the end to something that resembled sweet since she was clearly talking to the puppy.

"You get a two for one deal tonight," Alex said and stopped at a light. "So?" She asked.

"Doors open," Jodie offered and hung up the phone. The light changed and Alex drove on, flipping her phone shut, tossing it onto the seat and then turned her music back on, smirking when Uh Huh Her's Not a Love Song was coming out of her speakers. She knew it was a little too fitting and obvious for the moment.

Parking her Jeep she cut the engine and got out after grabbing her bag. Turning the door handle she stepped into the apartment and was greeted by Liv who pressed her paw on Alex's foot, her own way of begging to be picking up, which Alex did.

"Look at you. Getting into trouble?" Alex asked her dog and narrowed her eyes which only made Liv lean forward and lick her nose. Not being able to stop herself from laughing, the former blonde pulled Liv closer into her body so the puppy could nestle into the nook of her arm. "I'll take that as a yes," she said as she looked down at her.

"That was quick," Jodie's voice came out from another room.

"Mhm," Alex said and set Liv down who ran over to Jodie's girlfriend, Cameron, who scooped her back up and held her carefully in her hands.

"What happened?" Jodie asked bluntly.

"Met Marissa's dad, well...he came to my apartment after I arranged it all and she introduced me as her friend," Alex said in a monotone and leaned against the doorway. Her only response from Jodie was her eyes narrowing a little and Cameron's eyes growing wider.

"Ouch," Cameron said softly and gave Alex a very small, tense nod.

"You know she probably was just nervous and it was a surprise, she might have," Jodie started to say but was cut off by her ex.

"You're defending her?" Alex asked shock.

"Give the girl a break, she's bi or kind of gay and she's figuring it out. She probably didn't want to overload her dad or...she didn't want to get into that heavy conversation at the moment," Jodie tried to reason and frowned at her own words. "Then again she could just be scared and using you to get herself through the nights, you'll never know until you talk to her." Jodie finished and leaned back into the couch.

"I'm not in the mood," Alex grumbled.

"Clearly," Jodie noted tersely.

"You can always stay here Alex, for as long as you want." Cameron said nicely.

"No, if you start to impact my sex life I'm going to hold Liv hostage and you'll never get her back," Jodie warned and elaborated on her girlfriend's hospitality in Jodie fashion.

"That's my cue to sleep. I'm going to work at 7:30 so I'll see you around the usual," she said and stopped mid turn.

"Thanks," she offered sincerely, looking from Cameron who was clearly Jodie's better half and then to her best friend.

Minutes later she was laying on the couch, already changed into her boy shorts and a tank top. By the time she got to bed it was around 1 AM and she was growing more frustrated not being able to shut her brain off. Another half hour later she was drifting off to sleep. The annoying alarm on her cell phone woke her at 7, all too soon, and she slowly removed herself from the couch, her joints cracking when she walked towards the shower.

Twenty minutes later she was dressed and ready for work. The drive took five minutes and she was getting her second cup of coffee five minutes after that. She finally sat behind her desk and looked at the paperwork then immediately got set to figuring the orders, making calls, verifying clients' details, etc. with two hours left of work she heard her cell give a beep, signaling the battery was going to die shortly. Alex again grumbled to herself and leaned back in her chair, her neck hanging over the edge as she remembered she left the charger at her apartment. _Looks like I'll be going back sooner than I thought. _She considered the facts and then moved her stiff neck around in circles to try to release her tension-knowing fully well she wouldn't relax anytime soon.

The next two hours were spent checking her emails, reading over alterations and comments, calling a few of her employees to work a different job and making sure all the arrangements for certain projects were in check. Again she leaned back in her chair but sat forward when a note popped up on her computer screen, reminding her of certain obligations-Work at the bait shot tonight 5-10. Squinting her eyes she sighed. She didn't care that the note was lazy and didn't include capitalization, she signed knowing she wouldn't get to her apartment until much later. Looking herself over she realized she was overdressed for the bait shop but it would have to do seeing how she didn't have time to change. _Its only one day a week, its already been arranged, I agreed to it. Its organizing and very likely won't involve tending the bar. _She was rationalizing her thoughts and trying to psych herself out to go there. But she was growing a bit annoyed at the prospect of having to talk to drunk people or more accurately drunk guys who didn't get the hint that she wasn't interested or didn't want to be hit on. Period. _Hopefully I can stay in the office and not come out smelling like beer and sweat. _She tried reasoning as she shut her computer down, got out of her chair and headed to the exit only to leave work and go to another job.

Arriving at the bait shop was easy, she parked close since it was early and no one was really around. Getting out she didn't bother to put a thin sweater on knowing it would get relatively hot within the next few hours. Walking in, ready to run the place, her back straighter and looking more authoritative she found the manager.

"hey Mark," she said easily.

"Alex, perfect, you're here and now we can get everyone..." he trailed off, distractedly as he looked around then let out in a booking voice, "everyone, get down here. Stop that you're doing. Meeting time." He commanded and stood waiting, seemingly more relaxed now. Within a minute everyone was standing in front of Alex, about four girls and five guys, five including herself. "This is Alex, she used to work here and she knows what to do. Listen to her or she'll fire you," he said seriously and she looked over at him, raising an eyebrow.

"Forgot to mention," he said shrugging, "you're co managed and only have to be here one day a week," he finished with a smile and went to his office. Crossing her arms over her chest, knowing a few of the guys were checking her out, she looked over the crew and then gazed past them.

"Alright, I'm Alex, you're going to be working very hard today and we're going to get this place looking better, now..."she said in a commanding way and paused, "you and you," she said pointing to two employees, the ones who had been checking her out in a sleazy way, "move half the tables over there to there, put the other half in storage." She noted and indicated with her hands as they walked away mumbling under their breathes.

"You two and you," she said pointing to more employees, "clean the bar. Put the stools away in storage. Restock the glasses and then the ice in an hour," she noted. She looked over the rest of the employees. "The rest of you...when the tables are moved aroun, clean the half that remain, then I'm going to make a few calls and in the next half hour people are going to be coming in here with more furniture and seating so move that old couch into the office when you're done with that," she finished and nodded. Moving away from them as the remainder of the employees got to work she flipped open her cell, went over the bar, quickly grabbed a pen and a pad of paper and began to write numbers down. When that was done, her phone very close to shutting off, she went up to the office and entered without knocking.

"it sounds like a war zone out there," Mark said looking up from his paperwork.

"You wanted it to look better and running smoother," she shrugged and then sat down on the metal chair that was placed before the desk. Taking the land line off the hook she dialed a number and waited.

"Yeah. Hi Joe, I need twelve metal stools, six with low backs and in black. Then I need five black, long, silver tables, simple, modern, the ones I ordered for the Anthony clients. Yeah...mhm, those." Then she paused, writing it down, the numbers, how much, etc. "Great and I need them delivered to the bait shop in half an hour, you know where it is?" She asked and stood up straighter, cracking her back.

"yeah, good. I'll see you soon...thanks, bye," she said politely and ended the call to start another. Mark looked on in amazement, leaned back in her chair knowing he wouldn't have to deal with any of this.

"Riley, in the mood to sell some art?" Alex asked happily but still maintained her business-like voice. Mark heard excited responses coming from the phone as Alex wrote down more figures. "Okay, I need two of your paintings, no...three. The mind likes odd numbers. Bring four and I'll choose from then can you stop by in twenty at the bait shop?" She asked and waited. "Yeah, I know you used to come here and stopped," she said and gave a small smile to Mark, "I'm trying to make it better, which is why I'm using your art to do it," Alex said charmingly. She paused and nodded her head. "yeah, I'll see you then," and then hung up the phone it was cradled in. looking back over at Mark he waited for her to start.

"You're going to pay about five hundred for all the new tables and chairs the the art is going to come to another hundred. And you're getting everything discounted. New lighting for the bar is going to come to another two hundred but if you don't want it you don't really need it," she said emphasizing her point and he nodded.

"Do what you want," he got out calmly and noticed most of his male employees maneuvering a couch into his office. Getting up from her chair Alex told Mark to move the desk in the corner of the room and the couch was in its place in a few minutes. She gave then gave brief instructions to move the couch against the wall and the other, small couch across from it. Grabbing the moderately sized table that was in a separate corner, its placement getting lost in the room, and moved it between the couches and put three candles that never got lit in the middle of the table. Mark tried to move the desk back but she told him to leave it and move the bookshelf behind the door since it wasn't used except to hold files in binders and a few books she had left here that had now gathered dust.

Ten minutes later that was finishes so she made her way back downstairs. She nodded, satisfied of her own arrangement of the office that now seemed bigger. Heading out to her Jeep to make a quick stop at a store she asked Mark for another hundred which he gave to her from his wallet without a second thought. The trip alone took less than ten minutes considering she knew what she wanted. Grabbing two long, sturdy, artsy lamps, some six by six inch canvases that already had modern paintings on them that most people wouldn't consider ordinary, along with five medium sized pillows with random designs on them, and a few small plants that required little maintenance. They would go on the windowsills that were built into the walls of the windows. Everything was loaded into her Jeep with the help of the store employees.

After she was done paying for everything and having put in her own twenty dollars, she returned on time when Riley was taking out her artwork. Leaving everything in her Jeep she walked to the entrance of the club, opened the door, called inside, "I need two people to unload, now," she said tiredly but demanded and immediately two guys came out, one grabbing Riley's art after Alex tossed her head to the side to express what they needed to do, while the other guy went to her Jeep and began to take the objects out. Alex took one of the heavy pieces of art Riley had brought as the artist took out the other canvases. They entered the club and Alex could already see it was almost done, another hour and the place would look very different. _No, two hours, I still have to get Will to install the lights and I called him earlier so he should be here soon._ Alex considered and went to the brick wall where she lifted the artwork to see if it contrasted well, which it did. Riley lifted the other but Alex tilted her head a bit to the side and realized the colors were too similar to the wall so the content of the painting got lost, which was a shame since it was nice work. They guy set one painting against the wall and held the other up letting Alex look over the painting so the light from the window hit it and Alex nodded. Three paintings were staying and she was content with her plans. Leading Riley into the office she told her to talk with Mark and assured her he would pay her and then thanks her for the last minute order. As she was making her way back downstairs Will came in.

Once again she went back to her Jeep and helped the now three employees help carry items in. when she was making her second trip in Will was already dismantling the lights. She sighed gently, knowing she didn't have to tell him anything. Handing the throw pillows over to an employee she waited as her contractor got out more tables and stools. It took her a half hour to arrange everything and the former blonde directed Will into the office to talk with Mark about payment.

Sighing with her hands on her hips Alex looked over the place seeing it was nearly ninety percent done, all she needed was one more touch. Sweeping the place again she told a few people to clean the new tables, set the plants on the windowsills and then took a heavy seat at the bar. Becoming more tired with each minute she was midway through cracking her back when Will said, "Yeah this place needed new lighting. All set." He said packing his tools away.

"I'm not paying you so you'll actually get a good tip," she said with a light smile. He knew she paid him well when she needed him and he appreciated it.

Quickly he went to the office and as he was gone she took in the blown glass, the colorful lights that hung down over the bar enough for people to notice. Then she started to help someone put more ice in the are.

Finally everything was done. Somehow it was done much to the shock of Mark and although he had paid a lot for the renovation, the place looked great to say the least. Now everyone was ready to open the place. The right people has been paid, everything that needed to be in order was organized and within eighteen minutes left till opening Alex let everyone relax, go out for a smoke, whatever they wanted to do while she relegated herself to the store room to take inventory. That tedious process took fifteen minutes of her time with the clipboard in hand. Alex had to stop her mind from wandering off to when Marissa mentioned she looked hot when she concentrated or the time they had sex in the same room she was standing in. shaking her head the dark brunette stepped back into the main part of the club and went to her office where Mark once again gave his ecstatic review and thanks then removed himself to say thanks to the staff and open the place.

Half way through the night Mark came back up, clapping his hands and rubbing them together, "Looks like you did a great job, I need you to bartend," he said with a smile and paused when her face drained of anything that resembled happiness. She knew people cared about the aesthetics of a place. The bar used to look like a dive and rather grungy, now it was more upscale but still casual. "hey, blame yourself, we're busy, they can't keep up down there," he said and sat behind his desk as she lifted herself begrudgingly off the couch she had been laying on.

"You owe me," she said and opened the door, the music pouring into the office as she shut it solidly.

The next two hours she spent on her feet, pouring people's drinks, pretending like she was interested in most people's conversations and flat out shot people down when they tried to flirt with her because she had really exhausted all her resources and energy.

Ten o'clock finally came around and Alex relieved herself from the bar when three other girls came in on their own shift, mixing and pouring and getting good tips. At the moment she didn't care, she really didn't give a damn. She wanted to go home, take a shower, climb into her bed and pass out even though she knew the shower would inevitably wake her up. Quickly she said goodbye to the new tenders, bye to the guys and other employees she passed and a wave to Mark after he handed her four hundred dollars from his safe and joked that she won't get that much next time. Alex pocketed the money and made her way outside to the fresh air that revived her senses as she climbed into her Jeep and headed back to her apartment, not knowing if Marissa was there or not.

To be completely honest with herself she was grateful that she had this job tonight. It kept her mind occupied, she only thought of Marissa three time throughout the day and now she had to focus on the road. Coming to a stop before her place, she cut the engine and took in that the car Summer had left was gone.

Assuming Jimmy was out meeting with people or out with Marissa she got out her keys to unlock the door but was surprised when it was already open. Turning the handle completely she walked in and hung her keys on the hook she left by the door but left the door unlocked in case Jimmy was coming back. Slowly she made her way to the fridge and got out a water, drinking it as though she had been in a desert.

Tossing it into the recycling minutes later she made her way up to her bedroom, holding onto the railing since everything was shrouded in near pitch black. When she sat on the edge of the bed she felt the mattress shift and she got up quickly to turn on the light. Marissa stared back at her, her eyes unrelenting, not allowing Alex to drop her eye contact with the girl who was dressed, sitting up, with the covers under her. Her eyes were a shade of green that gave away her emotional state. Neither knowing what to say and unwilling to make the first attempt at conversation Marissa stood up and moved closer to Alex who refused to move closer or step back.

"I should have told my dad," Marissa said with certainty and bluntly as she held her arm closer to her with her hand wrapped around her elbow. Alex stared at her but nodded once and Marissa took a step closer and was surprised when Alex didn't take a step back even though she remained physically rigid and unwavering in her intense gaze.

"I get it. I hurt you, I'm sorry...but you can't just..." Marissa started.

"You can't tell me what to do. You have enough fucking say in how I react without you actually saying the words," Alex said, edging on being hostile, her exhaustion reaching a breaking point as she stepped closer to Marissa who looked slightly shocked as Alex's raised voice.

"I said I was sorry, what more do you want?" Marissa asked, growing more frustrated.

"I want you to be honest with me," the shorter girl blew out, crossing her arms over her chest and Marissa sighed as though it was asking too much-too damn much for simple honesty or stating the truth.

"You want me to be honest with you?" She asked growing more frustrated. "How do you expect me to do that by talking to a wall Alex?" Marissa stated bitterly.

"I really can't do this," Alex said lifting her hands up and started to turn towards the stairs, not in the mood for a fight or something that required so much energy that was emotionally draining. She had to admit to herself that was was emotionally invested but instead of letting Alex leave again, Marissa grabbed her arm and pulled her closer. Not harshly but not necessarily softly. She kept holding onto Alex's arm and when the shorter girl tried to move away again Marissa grabbed her other arm and held her wrist with consideration, a level of love evident in the hold. And again Alex tried to move away by attempting to push Marissa away from her which only led them to being closer and caused Alex to lose her balance. In order to not fall to the floor Marissa maneuvered the to fall on the bed with Marissa pinning Alex's arms down into the soft blankets. Struggling against Marissa Alex tried to get up but she knew she wasn't trying hard enough or not nearly as hard as she could have. Subconsciously she didn't mind being in the position she was in but she was still pissed off.

"I love you," Marissa said harshly, still holding her wrists and pinning her arms down with her even though they were both conscious of the fact that Alex could flip Marissa over if she wanted to. But both girls were still angry, having held onto their thoughts all day or avoided them.

"Next time talk to me," Marissa continued. "Don't leave and act like you don't care," she said and held herself above the former blonde.

"Fine," Alex said and struggled to flip them over, "but I don't want to talk right now," she said in an almost growl.

"Good," Marissa said and narrowed her eyes to meet with the girl's blue eyes beneath her and then glanced at Alex's other features. "Me neither," she got out and leaned down to kiss Alex hard. Her nails scratching along Alex's sides in the process when she let go of her wrists and slid her fingers down her body. Next scratching her stomach, making Alex bite Marissa's lip to keep from screaming, followed by a moan from the taller girl.

"If she was more aware of her body right now or specifically her lips she could have sworn that Alex drew a bit of blood, but she was too distracted by Alex's body underneath her and the fact that she was being quickly undressed. In haste Marissa matched Alex's pace and removed her clothes. Both alternating taking off articles of clothing while Marissa licked her bottom lip, seeing Alex's almost nude form before her and noticed as a last minute thought that her lips weren't bleeding. Alex wouldn't intentionally hurt her and she felt that realization when Alex's hand moved slowly to her lower back to pull her into her more, but then felt Alex's nails grip her hip and cling to her as Marissa moved her leg to slide between Alex's.

"This doesn't mean I'm still not angry at you," Alex got out in a livid, breathy tone as she pulled Marissa's hair out of her face gently and pulled her down intensely so her lips could contact with hers in a fierce dual, but Marissa didn't give in. Removing her lips from Alex's she tilted her head towards her neck and ground out the word fine and then attacked her neck with intent, kissing her skin tenderly but biting down roughly a few seconds later causing Alex's hips to rise and met Marissa's body even more, both groaning at the heated contact.

An hour later both women had various scratch marks on them, though it was obvious Alex had more bruises on her body, mostly on neck and shoulder. Marissa wasn't unscathed though. Her lower back had a few lines along her skin and at least two hickeys that were forming under her collarbone. Rolling off of Marissa now, Alex sat up with her legs over the side of the bed.

"Fuck, Alex! I'm sorry," Marissa said, reaching out to very lightly graze along Alex's back, seeing the damage she had done. Small droplets of blood were bubbling to the surface of the irritated, raised lines Marissa had clearly scratched into Alex.

"Its okay," Alex mumbled into Marissa's lips as she kissed her softly without anger. Granted they just had what could be considered angry sex, but there wasn't any residual hostility between them. The scratches weren't made in malice. Oddly enough Alex looked at Marissa with more consideration and perhaps even more respect because she had matches herself on multiple levels, physically tonight with the endurance, emotionally she didn't back down from her when she was leaving and the fact that she had just shared a part of Marissa that no one would likely ever get to see a very raw, untamed version. The realization made Alex smile and feel some pride that Marissa chose her to experience these emotional and sometimes dark moments with.

"I don't mind," Alex offered and gave a small, lazy smile.

"You don't mind that..." Marissa said and cut herself off, her eyes darkening knowing she really hurt Alex.

"Don't make it a weekly thing, but no, I don't mind. I kind of like it," she said and leaned into Marissa again to place a lingering kiss on her cheek.

"That's good," Marissa said slowly, "because I like touching you," she said with more happiness as she gently ran her fingertips up and down Alex's arm, making the former blonde almost ready for a second wind. Marissa sensed it but pulled Alex in closer to lay on her body in a way that suggested intimacy even though she wouldn't have minded making her girlfriend moan again.

"I'm going to tell my dad," Marissa said with absolute conviction.

"Do we have to talk about your dad now?" Alex asked as she kissed along Marissa's jaw, clearly diverting her attention to her girlfriend's body, more so than her words. The idea of Marissa's dad was definitely a mood killer.

"Alex." Marissa stated firmly in her wife tone and Alex lifted her head to look at the longer girl playfully.

"Yeah babe?" Alex asked, adorning a lopsided smirk to add to her charm.

"Focus," Marissa commanded and Alex sighed as though it was the most difficult and energy draining thing she could be asked of, but she nipped Marissa's jawline and then looked her fully in the eyes. Giving her undivided attention.

"I'm cookie dough," Marissa said suddenly and Alex frowned down at her as though saying-really? But she did appear more focused now, Marissa's intention achieved. "I'm not done baking. I'm not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I'm gonna turn out to be. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next, and maybe one day I turn around and I realize I'm ready. I'm cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat me-" then cut herself off when she saw Alex's eyes widen, "or enjoy warm, delicious, cookie me, then that's fine. That'll be then. When I'm done." She finished.

"So I have to wait around till you're done baking?" Alex thought pensively and Marissa nodded making Alex frown more. "You know I'm sure I could get you some pot," Alex said in complete seriousness but her playful eyes gave her away and Marissa started laughing and then hit Alex's arm gently for good measure who laughed along with her.

"No, I get it. I can wait," Alex said slowly. "Granted I don't want to..." she kept going.

"You don't have to," Marissa said gently, cutting her off. "I'm done. You're right. I need to be honest and you deserve that. And when it comes down to it-I don't care. People aren't involved in our relationship. They don't get to have a sat in it and if they can't support me that I have to ask why they think they have the right so have a say in my life. It's my life and I'll love who I want," Marissa said with certainty and looked as Alex who had what could be considered pride in her eyes. If Marissa had to pin point an emotion and describe it that would likely be it.

"Riveting speech babe," Alex said with some light sarcasm, purposefully belittling the moment into a full smile, fully conscious that she was going to annoy Marissa again. And really that was fine by her since it was her manipulative plan that worked well considering Marissa slapped Alex on the bum, leaving the former blonde's mouth hanging open in mock shock.

"Don't tease," Alex said narrowing her eyes at the girl that she was partially laying on and shifting so she was full on Marissa.

"I wasn't teasing," Marissa challenged while her hand moved under the blanket again to pull Alex's hips into her more. As she slowly slide her hand along her lower stomach and down again, making Alex curve into her and kiss her neck without restraint Marissa matched her ministrations and held onto Alex tighter as they both made silent promises to enjoy each other's physically pleas and giving's.


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: Thank you as always for the reviews and I'll be amazed if people are still reading this. I thought I'd update before I head over to Chicago (but now I'm in the airport and it likely won't get posted today so now I'm just rambling) to see my favorite person. Granted you have no idea what I'm talking about but my point is that after a while of not writing since I've been focusing on my thesis-here is a chapter and I hope you enjoy it. The books are real and worth reading but I made up the play list for the gift. I'm not in the airport anymore, okay, its been months since I got back from Chicago so…now that my senior project is finished…enjoy or hate the new chapter, there's still 3 chapters left. Also if it seems disjointed that's due to writing it in different moods and over a period of time, as evident by this note.

* * *

Files, emails, orders, and more paperwork. Alex was buried in it again. The whole point of putting in the extra hours the past couple days was to avoid this but new clients came on and with the bait shop, her old boss had friends that could also use some 'make-overs' for their own business. Running her hand through her hair, pushing it back gruffly Alex rested her elbows on the glass table to give her eyes a break. She would much rather be surfing, watching one of her favorite tv shows or hell an old horror movie. Smirking she couldn't stop herself from thinking how the way Marissa said certain words was amusing. Sighing she leaned back in her chair and looked at the computer screen again, almost as though she wanted to attack it.

"That computer is cowering in fear," Jodie mocked from her leaning position against the doorway. Alex only narrowed her eyes at her.

"I went to lunch with Cam, she told me to get you an iced coffee," Jodie said as she set it on the table.

"There's a reason why people say she's your better half," Alex joked, her mood shifting to a less tense one as she picked up the drink to place the straw between her teeth.

"Yeaaaah, so how's life today?" Jodie asked with sincere interest.

"Better, Marissa is going to talk to her dad and I could be worried about the new development of him not liking me but it doesn't matter since I won't be really be spending time with them considering how much work there is," Alex looked away bewildered, she couldn't imagine how she was going to get even a third of it done as she planned in her head, setting a goal.

"You'll get it done," Jodie said knowingly as she looked down at Alex who had already finished half of the beverage. The former blonde only continued to look at the folders and notes, she could have sworn that if the papers flew up somehow and cascaded around the room she'd feel like _Alice in Wonderland_ with the cards waving over her. She would have preferred the conventional waves of water and surfing to relax. Shaking her head she got up and grabbed a new binder from the bookshelf, turning her body around so her back was facing Jodie as she kept drinking the coffee that was now empty. Damn, she thought as she threw it in the garbage.

"Alex! Jesus Christ, does Marissa know you aren't a scratching post?" Jodie exclaimed in an antagonistic tone.

The taller girl shrugged and disregarded her friend's comment knowing that it was futile to argue and if she was going to be honesty-she frankly liked it. Noting that her friend dismissed her outburst, Jodie rolled her eyes, "That had to hurt when you took a shower," she continued and again Alex shrugged, too wrapped up in her work to take notice or engage in a conversation. If she was completely open she could add in that it stung but the rest of the morning went well with Marissa sneaking her hand up her shirt to rest on her hip bone and graze over her stomach after she had made breakfast for the high school student as she drank her juice. Marissa even washed the dishes and afterwards started to take off Alex's shirt to kiss her way up and down the shorter girl's spine. Alex had smirked to herself thinking that if Jimmy came through the door and saw them in the kitchen, Marissa wouldn't have to explain that they were more than friends so she slowly maneuvered her way out of Marissa's arms and went upstairs to take her shower, depriving her girlfriend of any reciprocation.

Next Marissa hopped in after Alex was nearly dressed, but got a chance to steal a quick kiss before briefly explaining that she had to get to work. Pulling back slowly, dropping her arms from around Alex's body that had previously been encircling her, Marissa mumbled okay and they'd see each other later tonight. Unless her mom made other plans. Nodding back, Alex put the last touches to her eyes and reapplied her natural lip-gloss and rushed out the door. Hours later…she's at her desk working, avoiding Jodie's attempt at conversation and trying to get a few things done.

"Alright, alright, it seems you and your girlfriend, who comes with claws are fine, enjoy your work," Jodie said and went back to her office. Alex knew the comment was without malice so she smirked and went back to work, many hours later at nine o'clock she was heading to her Jeep. Stomach growling and head feeling light she realized she'd forgotten to eat lunch and dinner. She'd had the coffee, which can dehydrate you, a snack bar, and an apple so when she saw the Whole Foods and her stomach growled more audibly she pulled into the parking lot. Bee lining to the already prepared meals she grabbed a carton and started to fill it up with various items she didn't realize she was craving. Paying for her two pounds of food and her small salad she took a seat in the café and began eating contently, occasionally taking breaks to enjoy the organic birch beer.A half hour later after she was blissfully full she picked up her trash, tossed it and went back to her Jeep to make her way home.  
Ten minutes later after listening to some mellow music, having sufficiently drained the tension from her body brought on by all the she had to do at work she slowly made her way into her apartment. Trying to close the door quietly she looked across the floor plan into the living room and saw Jimmy and Marissa watching _Pushing Daisies_. When she took in the two figures who seemed engrossed in the show she pushed the door shut and went to the kitchen to put the cartons of food she'd gotten for them in the fridge but was surprised to see Marissa get up from the couch make her way over to her and kiss her on the cheek.

"You look tired," Marissa said honestly but with softness. Alex leaned against the counter and gave a small smile to her girlfriend, having assumed she already had the conversation with her father about her personal life.

"I am, but I brought you some Whole Foods, if you and your dad haven't eaten you should," Alex offered. Again she felt Marissa leave a lingering kiss on her cheek and she raised an eyebrow in response.

"Its fine, he likes you. I actually think he's thrilled," Marissa offered, amused by her father.

"And why's that?" Alex asked curiously but with a subtle smile.

"He just wants me to be happy and in a healthy relationship," Marissa supplied bluntly as Alex moved her hands to rest on the taller girl's waist, unable to stop herself from touching her girlfriend. The high school student in response encircled Alex's shoulders with her arms and showed the validity behind her statement by way of physical expression.

"And he noticed I make you happy?" Alex countered with an edge of playfulness in her tone.

"Yeah, when you aren't brooding or being a smart ass or a punk or a,"  
Alex leaned forward and very briefly kissed Marissa to silence her teasing and pulled back to turn around and ignore the dark blonde jokingly.

"Pain in my ass," Marissa finished with a glare, making Alex smile more.

"Mmm so the talk with your dad went fine?" Alex asked as she put a few items away in the refrigerator.

"Better than expected, he's laid back and doesn't really care. Though I think he was shocked at the domesticity you've kept up considering my mom had given the impression that you're a force to reckon with," Marissa said with a smirk. Raising an eyebrow and peering at the taller blonde from behind the open cupboard door Alex drummed her fingers on the counter and appeared pensive after she briefly looked over to the couch and noticed Jimmy sleeping.

"Well I do have all these nefarious plans to defile his daughter but then again he thinks you're more innocent than you are so I'm not exactly going to diminish any sense of purity," she finished with a lopsided smirk as Marissa's mouth hung open knowing she couldn't contest her girlfriend's quip.

"Whatever, thank you for getting him here, it's the best birthday I've had in a long time," Marissa said, changing the subject to something that wouldn't rile her up.

"You're welcome," the surfer said sincerely. "But the other half of your present is,"

"There's more?" Marissa asked with an edge of surprise in her voice as she clearly cut the shorter girl off.

"Yeah, but it's not amazing, just something small, you probably won't care," Alex said as she put the last items away.

"No, no I wanna know, tell me. No, don't tell me, can I open it, please?" The taller girl said with a sense of renewed energy and coming off as a petulant child. Granted it was cute to Alex because she didn't often see Marissa excited, she always has an air of restraint around her or a controlled degree of cool that was really a cover to displace her insecurities, but even knowing these aspects of Marissa made her endearing.

"Maybe later," Alex said to draw out the moment. Instead of responding Marissa narrowed her eyes and slowly moved closer to Alex. Her hands came up to lightly touch Alex's waist and by flicking her wrist subtly she was able to slide her fingers under her shirt to graze along her lower back. Instinctually Alex's hips moved towards Marissa who had shifted one hand to the slightly shorter girl's side, her fingertips running along the fabric of Alex's bra. Instead of giving in Alex stepped back and looked at her girlfriend while she tried to appear as though she wasn't catching her breath.

"In the upstairs closet, very top shelf," she got out and turned to the counter, assuming Marissa was going to make her way upstairs. Again she had to catch her breath when she felt Marissa's arms wrap around her waist from behind to pull her in closer. Next she felt her lips on her neck and Alex couldn't help when she tilted her head to allow Marissa more access. Knowing that the girl behind her had a direct correlation as to why her breathing was becoming more ragged she decided she'd turn the tables by literally turned around to instantly take Marissa's bottom lip between hers and lightly suck it into her mouth before biting down on it effectively making her girlfriend moan. And when she felt the light brunette's arms find purchase on her shoulders. Kissing Marissa a little harder and feeling the girl lean into her made Alex pull back and drop her hands from her waist.

"Don't you have a present to open?" She asked playfully. Blowing out a breath of hot air Marissa turned away from her girlfriend and started to ascend the stairs mumbling incoherent comments to herself.

When she came back down no more than five minutes later to sit at the counter, her father had already joined Alex.

"What is with your obsession thinking that I like pink?" Marissa asked as she sat on the tall stool after she placed the bag that had various shades of pink onto the counter top.  
Alex shrugged, aside from the obvious comment she could make about how Marissa once killed her clothes, "You wear it enough," she replied nonchalantly and waited for the other girl to dig through the paper. Earning herself a glare Marissa paused before looking at her dad to come to her defense who at the moment was smirking and seemingly enjoying the entertainment. Rolling her eyes subtly at her father's obliviousness she opened the bag and pushed the pink tissue paper out of the way but gave up and took it out in clumps on the counter. At the bottom of the bag she wrapped her fingers around rectangular objects. Pulling out the relatively heavy material she placed her gift on the counter. Books and more books. Carrie Pil'by, I love everybody and other atrocious lies, and No one belongs here more than you. Looking over them Marissa wasn't exactly surprised but it was kind of nerdy that Alex had gotten her books.

"You forgot something," Alex said as she leaned against the counter, her body relaxed. Tilting the bag towards herself the taller girl looked in, pushed aside the last bit of tissue paper and felt a thick piece of paper. Retracting her hand she held two tickets for Rilo Kiley with Copeland opening. But Alex knew that Death Cab was going to be there as a surprise appearance to perform a few Postal Service songs with Jenny Lewis. In shock her mouth fell open a little as she read the ticket. That response was worth Alex owing a friend a favor which was designing/renovating the bar he owned, another job and possibly less sleep but at least Marissa seemed happy as she wrapped her arms around Alex's shoulders. Settling her hands lightly on Marissa's hips the former blond pulled Marissa in a little more and the released her to step back and grab herself some green tea from the fridge.

"So if you're not busy that day I guess we could go," Alex said with some sarcasm considering they both knew she'd likely planned all of it earning a slight glare from the taller girl.

"Mmm I think you'll be able to make it. And if you bail," she said narrowing her eyes a little, "well you don't want me to finish that sentence." Marissa finished and turned around to go wake her dad while Alex sat at the counter, letting her shoulders relax in the process.

"Oh, I'm scared, I can't even move I'm filled with fear," Alex said sarcastically with a smirk.

"You should be, I'll have Summer kick your ass or at the least verbally," Marissa said in all seriousness which made Alex's smirk disappear faster than she could say something witty back as Marissa woke her father and was instructing him to sleep in the guest room.

"Alright, I'll try to make it, new topic-do you want to go to bed?" Alex offered trying to hide her yawn after Jimmy sleepily made it into the extra bedroom.

"Let's go," Marissa said softly but somewhat commandingly making Alex follow after her girlfriend who was already near the winding staircase. Usually Liv would accompany them, but she was with Jodie and Cam so Alex and Marissa got into bed, but instead of various articles of clothing being removed both girls fell asleep quickly and deeply.

When Alex woke she had to rush and get to work as soon as possible so she didn't wake up Marissa who was still sleeping soundly. But she slowly removed her arm out from under the light brunette and her other arm smoothly slid out from around her even though the Newport girl had a relaxed hold on her. Taking a five minute shower and getting dresses even quicker than usual Alex was out the door but reminded herself to call Marissa in a few hours to wake her up so she wouldn't sleep through the day and miss out on spending time with her dad on the last day he'd be there considering he had to leave this Saturday.

Alex arrived at work on time as always, having sped and really wanting to get her work done so she could see Jimmy and Marissa tonight instead of meeting with clients. But as the day continued on with various consumptions of coffee Alex had another long day at the office. When she finally got to her apartment she was too exhausted to scream in annoyance. The thought of screaming made her head hurt and instead she resigned herself to grumbling internally and sticking to her usual sarcastic commentary. Many hours later she's managed to finish most of her work. Figuring she should stop since the paperwork and computer screen have become blurry she heads back to her house, the drive seemingly second nature while her thoughts are occupying her head. It's not until she standing in her kitchen, the refrigerator door open until she realizes where she is. She wasn't conscious of the day; she was in a state of flux because it went by slowly when she wanted to get things done quickly and now that she could relax her body felt energetic and wired. At that moment Alex began to settle back into her apartment, knowing that she now can commit to relaxing. Not bothering to cook dinner for herself, she grabs a soy chocolate protein bolthouse drink and goes through that while Marissa comes from behind her and hugs her with her arms engulfing the former blond delicately. Feeling Marissa lean into her more she was happily surprised to feel her lips on her neck. Titling her head a little so Marissa could have more access she then felt her girlfriend's teeth graze and nip at her skin. Slowly turning around Alex's hands immediately moved towards Marissa and rested where the always did, on her hips while her fingertips moved the material of her shirt up a little to feel the skin beneath. Leaning into one another they kissed slowly, as though to say "hi, missed you, glad you're home" but that quickly became heated and Marissa found herself being maneuvered by Alex who was currently pressing into her while the counter was against her girlfriend's back. Next she felt Alex move her hands lower and pick up Marissa's legs to have them wrap around her waist, the action made easy since the high school student's arms were already on her girlfriend's shoulders. Leaning into Marissa more after Alex had set her down on the counter she moved in between her legs and began to kiss her neck.

"Alex, isn't my dad home?" Marissa asked breathing hot air against Alex's neck and inner shoulder while the shorter girl was busy kissing her neck and slipping her hand under her shirt with the intention of removing it.

"No, he's out with friends," Alex said quickly but clearly as she kissed Marissa's jaw line.

"So we have all night?" Marissa asked breathing heavier but unable to keep her usual nonchalant tone when happiness was evident and the very near future prospect of contentment.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: Clearly I haven't updated this in a while, but its coming to an end in maybe 2 more chapters. (I'd be shocked if anyone is still reading this). But please note that its here, even after my hard drive died and I had to start from scratch, that Vanamo is to thank, due to a writer's deal on updating that it would be finished. Also thanks to Katie for helping with the questions and hm...support. Hope you enjoy. If not-rant all you want. I'm never certain if the humor is actually amusing or if any of this is forced but hopefully the content is realistic. Enjoy yourselves.

* * *

Their night passed by in what could be considered bliss. Morning came too soon. They hadn't gotten much sleep besides expressing love, trust and consideration they stayed up talking.

"You know I love Summer, I can't...be close to many people. Most see me as a slut or the class president or whatever..." Marissa declared and trailed off knowing Alex was aware of her point and paused to move closer to her girlfriend, letting her head fall on the older girl's shoulder. "But with Summer she's like a sister, she's not just a friend. Do you know what I mean?" She asked tilting her head up a bit and kissed Alex's jawline.

"Mhm," Alex let out, closing her eyes. She was following the conversation as much as she could but she also kept up the dialog in her head as she thought over how her friends were her family. Most people viewed her as this intimidating, hard, stoic girl, which if she felt like talking she'd share but she knew how people perceived you could be a bitch, for lack of a better term. Her friends though took the time to understand her, accept her and appreciate her views and opinions. She was conscious of the fact that they didn't antagonize her as someone people made it their mission to do to make themselves feel better about themselves. Power plays were something that always annoyed her. I was easy for her to see people's motives or hidden agendas a mile away and power battles were petty and boring. Her friends that were more of an adopted, mutually accepting family enveloped her in their laid back ways and undercurrent of love that was unconventional, but a great deviation from the people she had come from.

"I sometimes think I'm a bad sister. I don't even talk to Kaitlyn anymore or not as much as I should." Marissa continued and shifted her hand to hold the girl's she was laying on. Alex thought it was sweet and interesting that even as Marissa was claiming how she felt disconnected. As she was doing so she was trying to physically be linked to someone else. It oddly enough made sense and was incredibly human to crave a connection and desire to feel wanted. Alex lightly smiled and picked up Marissa's hand to kiss her knuckles as though saying "I'm here, I'm listening."

"Am am I bad sister?" Marissa asked in what was an attempt at being nonchalant but Alex could tell that behind the calm exterior the taller girl was worried that she wasn't present enough in her sister's life.

Resting her head in her hand as she sat up to give Marissa her undivided attention she looked her over. "No," she pauses and touches her girlfriend's collar bone lightly, barely grazing it. "You both have your own lives," she continued diplomatically. "I'm sure she knows that you care, but if you think if you tried to spend more time with her she wouldn't say no." Alex offered gently as she laid back down, this time on her side as she held the dark blond's waist and kissed her temple.

"Or she could say fuck off. That sounds more like her," Marissa said trying to lighten the mood even though sadness was heard at the edges.

"You could invite her over here. If I'm at work and you want to spend time with her or whatever works with your schedules," Alex countered. A few minutes passed and eventually Marissa's breathing became shallow.  
When morning came Alex was surprised to be woken by gentle kisses to her neck. Stretching, the former blond brought her arms up and slowly back down to rest on Marissa's hip. Turning towards the more so awake girl Alex didn't hesitate to kiss Marissa. When Alex seemed to be more awake Marissa pulled back and kept her hand under her jaw and warm against the shorter girl's neck and said, "I'm still tired, but sleeping in with me would make me feel better."

"Clever," Alex replied with a smirk. She leaned closer and kissed bellow the content girl's collar bone, "manipulative," another kiss to her neck, just near her ear, "and no," she whispered as her voice dropped a few octaves. When it registered that Alex was getting out of bed leaving her feeling cold and disappointed Marissa frowned as Alex was making her way to her bathroom for her usual quick shower.

By the time Alex was dressed and finished with her slight makeup Marissa was clearly downstairs. She didn't smell anything burning so she figured the anti-Martha Stewart was occupying herself with something else. Coming down the winding staircase she came across silence. No TV, no music, no drawers or cabinets opening. Marissa was instead reading one of the books she has received as part of her birthday present as she sat at the counter. But when Alex stood behind her and kissed her shoulder. Reaching back the seated girl held onto Alex's shirt and kept her there forcing the standing girl to lean closer. Before arms could embrace one another and allow for more contact Marissa slipped out of the seat and leaned against the counter to face the interior designer.

"As great as you look, you can skip on work," Marissa got out as she held onto Alex's forearm.

"Not going to happen," Alex said as she moved closer, dipping her head to nip at her girlfriend's neck.

"But you're the boss," the taller girl continued and sighed when Alex encircled an arm around her figure, her hand pressing against her lower back and effectively pulling her closer.

"True," she replied after she let the tip of her tongue slide along the sinews of her neck a little which forced a soft but frustrated groan from Marissa as she was moved against the counter more. "So....I could fire myself and then say back-yeah, well I quit." Stopping midway between sliding her hand along her girlfriend's stomach Marissa frowned and moved her head away to look at the girl who was currently set on teasing her.

"You're weird you know." She finally got out with a slight smile.

"You like it," Alex said with a smirk and certainty then smoothly dropped her arms from around Marissa and made her way to door to head to her office.  
Only two minutes into her office and not even to her desk yet does someone ask, "What have you been up to?"

Stopping before allowing herself to start her paperwork she picks up a pen to jot down some notes and replies, "Applied for an art school where I plan to steal things, became a doctor, am dating a guy from the "Irish mafia," she said using air quotes, "and all before Friday. The joys of being me. Really." She finished with a light sigh and a deadpan tone.

"And slap," Jodie said back after three seconds of letting it all sink in. Alex raised her eyebrows. "You're too far away for me to actually hit you so go away," Jodie kept up, but a small smile was visible.

"You're the one who came in here." Alex got out, already exasperated.

"Only because Liv wandered in," Jodie replied quickly. "Otherwise I wouldn't tolerate your smart ass-ness," she countered.

"Mhm," she said as she sat down. "Come here Liv, good girl," she said as her dog got closer and then jumped up on her leg and then moved away. "Lay down," Alex demanded gently. "Lay..."

"Play dead," Jodie interrupted, edging on gleefully. Liv turned her head around to look at her other caregiver with a confused look on her face as the shorter girl leaned against the doorway.

"The hell Jodie," Alex started.

"She can do it!" Jodie said excitedly and a bit defensively as she cut Alex off, again.

"Attack Liv," Alex said back with her own excitement. Jodie let out a fake gasp for dramatic, mocked effect.

"She would never! Plus, I'm going to teach her something useful. How to play dead convincingly so she fools you and I steal her!" In the meantime, as she was telling of her not-so-diabolic-and-nefarious plan she kept pressing her fingers together like a cliché villain.

The only response Alex had was to chuckle under her breath. She could barely contain another witty remark besides thinking-_Yes, I could be in bed right now...what the hell, instead I'm here...with this...absurdity.  
_  
Trying to distract herself she looked down at Liv who was looking back up at her and said, "Attack little one!" _  
_Quickly the dog bounded over, she didn't run. She looked more like an odd kangaroo as she pounced on Jodie's shoe which only made Jodie laugh, call her a little bugger, pick her up to take her away to her own office leaving Alex to her work.  
Hours later, some coffee in her system and files looked over Alex leaned back and stretched feeling her spine crack and she let out a contented, albeit stressed sigh. The action would seem like a contradiction but without the help of the coffee she knew she'd be asleep and possibly drooling on her paperwork. As she set her hands on her desk she looked up and saw Marissa who quietly entered and now had her back leaning into the closed door. Marissa stood with a smirk on her face in her short skirt that made her legs look even longer, Alex took into consideration. But before Alex could inquire as to what her girlfriend was doing in her office, for the sake of curiosity, Marissa gently pushed off and seductively walked over to the interior designer. The former blond couldn't help but notice Marissa's calm and intimidating attitude, something that was a surprise to the sitting girl who leaned back in her chair a bit to appraise her school-ditching girlfriend.

"Why are you here?" Alex asked in a light tone that displayed her interest.

"To finish what we started this morning," came the reply with Marissa's voice coming out lower than usual as she placed her hands on the arms of Alex's chair and met her gaze. Standing up straight again, she looked down at Alex who now had her hands slowly sliding along the outside of her thighs, slowly pulling her closer in the meantime. Quickly Marissa gripped the bottom of her shirt and removed the small material in a fluid motion allowing Alex to kiss along Marissa's hip and lower stomach. Alternating between each hip Alex cupped Marissa's ass, though the action didn't last long as the standing girl pulled Alex up and maneuvered her to her desk. Marissa's lips were on her neck, a hand on her girlfriend's hip and her body fitting between her legs. From this position Alex had to look up at Marissa as the standing girl once again leaned down and kissed Alex, this time harder and with a degree of domination. Her other hand moved from her hip to the front of her black pants and undid the button as Alex pulled Marissa in closer.

Nearly an hour later Marissa picked up Alex's shirt and held it out to her as it dangled from her index finger. A little out of it, Alex slowly put her shirt back on. She didn't even have the energy to give back to Marissa, not that the lighter brunette seemed to mind. Being somewhat pinned between Marissa and her desk and basically...had to take in a controlled breath as she thought..._I just...had hot sex in my office. Yeaaah...that's the extent of my thinking. So much for coming in today..._

Taking Alex's face between her hands, stopping Alex's internal tangent and making her focus her eyes on her, Marissa kissed her again, hard and still lingering with lust. Moaning into the taller girl's mouth, Alex placed her hands on her girlfriend's waist and possessively kept her there, wanting to prolong the kiss that was once again starting to become heated. Pulling away from the clearly content girl Marissa moved her hands down and let her fingers slide along the back of her girlfriend's neck allowing them to still feel connected as the action provided warmth and an undertone of care.

"Should have skipped work," she said with a subtle edge of wickedness and certainty in her tone. Knowing she had just fucked her girlfriend rather senseless and both enjoyed it, thoroughly, allowed her to be a bit cocky or at least predominantly arrogant. Smirking back down at her professional girlfriend at how Alex's responses were slow Marissa dropped her arms, picked up her purse and smoothly left the office to leave Alex alone, in a sad attempt to focus on her work.

Another hour later and paperwork not having a dent in it Alex looked at her phone having received a message. It was a reminder from Marissa to try to finish up because her dad was leaving today and it would be nice to see him leave together. Sending a quick reply back she said she'd try but it wasn't looking good. Setting down the phone she let out another sigh and picked up another folder, feeling some motivation to get some projects done.

Unfortunately Alex finished around nine and only got back to her apartment a little after ten as she got a late dinner and groceries for Marissa and herself. Liv was sleeping in the passenger seat ready to be in her own little bed. Once everything was put away and Alex was about to take a sip from her beer but the front door opened.

"Hey," Alex said quietly. "You're in late." She said without any judgment, only a simple observation.

"Yeah, I was at Summer's" Marissa offered tiredly.

"Listen..." Alex started slowly, "I'm sorry I wasn't there to say goodbye to your dad." At this Marissa nodded. "I'll send him a text," the shorter girl added.

"Its not that. It would have been nice if you were there." She said and moved closer to stand in front of her. Looking at Marissa, Alex gaged if she would be allowed to hug the disappointed girl or if she was annoyed and her tired demeanor was a cover for possible anger. But Marissa allowed Alex to place her hand on her lower back and in turn moved her arms to rest on the surfer's shoulders, each pulling each other into their bodies. This allowed Alex to comfortably encircle Marissa's thin frame.

"Next time, you'll be there," Marissa finally replied, distracted by the casual embrace and comfort that came with it, though there was a bit of command in her tone.

"Yeah," came a soft whisper from Alex's lips that got muffled as she kissed her neck, forcing Marissa to tilt her neck for more access. Unable to have the will power of mind frame to take their fast approaching make out session to the bedroom, Alex picked Marissa up and set her on the counter. Again starting an immediate make-out session, reverting back to this morning, except this time she could commit to making Marissa moan and scream out her name.

When morning came and Alex was just about ready to head out, as Marissa was finishing her breakfast there was a loud knock or more accurately a pounding at the door. Looking at each other, Marissa remained seated, after all, they both knew it was Alex's apartment. Marissa lived there occasionally but they weren't officially moved in together. Before reaching the door Alex stopped and kissed her girlfriend on the cheek. She made a mental note to buy more breakfast foods for the non-morning person who frankly did need to eat more. Then proceeded to the door as the person still knocked and clearly wouldn't relent unless their hand broke or someone answered.

"Yeah!" She said, a rise in her voice evident as she pulled back the door, obviously annoyed. It wasn't even a question, it was more-"what the hell do you want that you keep banging like a ass?"

"Al," came an overly happy and clearly fake greeting as the figure spread their arms and encroached on Alex. From Marissa's spot she couldn't see who the person was, but the booming and somewhat deep voice made her frown, not being able to recognize the voice. Stunned Alex didn't move and stood stiffly as the person hugged her, awkwardly...

Next Marissa heard a heavy drop and tilted her head to see a large bag on the doorstep. When she looked back up the guy was stretching and looked past Alex to veer inside. Marissa for some reason unknown to herself straightened her back, dropped her fork creating an abrupt noise that fit the moment and felt annoyed by this person who seemed as though they'd barg in here if given the chance.

With a smile on his face, the guy nodded his head, indicating the place. "So ya gonna let me in big sis?"


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note: This story will likely end in 2 more chapters. I would enjoy getting reviews because I have no clear idea if people dislike where this is going or if they want to see something else. Though I have the entire story in my head. I like Alex's brother's name because its also a name for a girl, so I think it works and of course they're both A names. And I was debating to just have them break up, that would be much easier. But if you have notes on what should be improved feel free to note them, constructive criticism is welcomed.

* * *

"Alright Alex, now that we skipped over the reunion you gotta tell me the hot girl's name." The guy demanded.

In less than two minutes Alex managed to clench her jaw to the point that it ached and bit the inside of her mouth to the point that she now could taste that bit of metal that came with blood. This is why she wanted to be separated from from her family. They always had this air about them as though they felt it was acceptable to breeze into her life or judge her and dismiss her-all at the same time. Her brother who she couldn't consider to be a brother anymore only proved her feelings. She felt annoyance, not love towards him. And right now the fact that he was judging her girlfriend was reducing her value to looks only made her want to tell him to get the fuck out.

But instead she felt void and unable to respond. To put it bluntly-she was shocked. It was only until Marissa moved out of her chair and over to the winding staircase, to what Alex believed a route of escape did she come to and more conscious of the moment.

"Aaron, why are you here," Alex asked pointedly, purposefully avoiding bringing the retreating girl into the situation. She had to stop from crossing her arms and looking defensive, which she knew she was, but didn't want to express it.

"Mom and dad kicked me out for a while," he started and Alex shifted her eyes over to Marissa who was now likely up in her bedroom, "and so I'm gonna crash here cause I haven't gotten a hold of my friend yet," he got out in a bored tone. Alex couldn't help but notice that he hadn't asked, he only assumed that he would stay. The words alone were an intrusion. It was rude and inconsiderate and for a second she wished Jodie was here so the impatient girl could verbally slap him.

Letting it sink in Alex remained in her same position, hands on her hips, shoulders tense and peering at her brother who's large bag was picked up as he made a step inside the house. Putting her arm out and pressing her palm against the door frame as her fingers held onto the structure halted the male Kelly.

"I didn't say you could come in," Alex got out, her voice calm, but deliberate. She contained an edge to it that forced him to make eye contact.

"Come on Alex, I'm your brother, blood 'n all. I'll stay for...maybe 5 days at most, I've gotta check in with some other people if I can stay with them," he replied and pushed forward again.

The only reason why the older Kelly allowed him in was the movement she caught from her peripheral vision. Marissa was making her way to the door and would be late for school, though she figured she really wanted to get out of the apartment at this point. That realization made Alex even more annoyed. She couldn't deny that her brother showing up out of the fucking blue wasn't just an intrusion in the physical sense, but it threw off her life. A life that she had built and worked on so she was comfortable and one that Marissa was comfortable in, but now the taller girl was fleeing. And the only way she would be able to leave was if Alex moved her arm. The idea of forcing Marissa to stay in this tense moment appalled her and also made her resent her brother that much more. Looking over at her girlfriend Alex tried to convey an apology non-verbally with her eyes and slowly lifted her arm away. To her it appeared in slow motion.

The action meant that her brother would take it as an invitation or acceptance to let him stay when in actuality she wanted to provide the high school-er with the means to leave. It felt as though she was becoming inhuman. Her limbs were becoming part of a bridge. One between her past and present. Gripping the doorway tighter, debating if she should keep obstructing her brother and more importantly her girlfriend, she remained focused on Marissa. Her forearm straining....until she released her hand and slowly withdrew to bring it back to her side.

Everything felt dragged out. Marissa made brief eye contact, reposition her bag over her shoulder and squeezed out of the door as the male made his way through. It was almost like a traffic jam, a collision that was missed by a few inches. Reading Marissa's body language she could tell that the dark blond stiffened and elongated her strides, only to clutch her door handle hard as she looked up and met her eyes with Alex's.

What reflected back to her was uncertainty, hurt and...betrayal. Alex let out a chiseled sigh and wanted to go out and explain, if she even could. But she didn't want her brother to get too settled down knowing in the back of her mind that he would. She'd have to deal with what was unspoken later. Though she admitted, briefly, that seeing Marissa willing to get to school stung as she turned back and faced her brother.

"I don't want to know about why you got kicked out, not my problem. You get five days here, you aren't going to have anyone over..." W_hat else? _She had to pause and consider all the possible negative outcomes. Setting her jaw again she lifted her eyes back to her younger brother, "You aren't allowed to say anything rude to her, it would be better if you avoided her and pretended like she wasn't even here if she comes back, can you handle that?" She asked in a tone that left no options, no means to question her point and no leeway.

Nodding his head he turned around, his back facing Alex and plopped down onto the couch. The entire couch moved back an inch as he did so. Its not as though he was a heavy guy, he was built but lean. Without a doubt Alex was his twin, a smaller and slimmer twin but the resemblance was clear.

"You got any food?" He asked as he leaned back further into the couch. Another tense breath escaped her lips as the former blond went back to the kitchen.

"Who you tryin' to look older for? The brown hair makes you look 27." The nonchalant answer came.

Reaching up and grabbing an unopened bag of pretzels out of the cupboard which had been left over from a party she threw it on the couch.

"I have to go to work," she got out and avoided his jab.

"You have a job?" He asked curiously.

"Bye," she said as she was already closing the door, the word coming out fleeting.

Walking into her office Alex already felt herself calm, even though there was residual tension clinging to her shoulders. Listening to Florence and the Machine helped her on the drive over. Her Ipod was still bringing the songs to her ears as she sat in her chair, about to let the song finish but Jodie walked in.

"You're late."

"Are you enjoying stating the obvious?" Alex countered without any malice and picked up a folder on the pile to her left.

"You're never late," Jodie offered with an easy tone, "so the only why you'd be late is if you and Marissa...never mind, I don't want to go there," she cut herself off.

"Marissa couldn't get out of the apartment fast enough," the former blond mumbled but Jodie caught the words and moved further into the office.

"You're that bad? You're slipping in your talent at..."

"It wasn't that. And thank you," Alex said narrowing her eyes.

"Alright, alright, so she probably hates you for some unknown reason..." Jodie started.

"She doesn't hate me, you just assume she hates me. Nice," Alex finished sarcastically and pressed her index and middle finger against her temple.

"Fine, then...well...hm, she likes your friends, you like her friends-some of them. That means...someone you don't like showed up. Or its issues with her mom or that girl with the name of the season or whatever," Jodie added but seemed bored. They both knew she was only conversing for the sake of her own amusement and to test if she could push her ex's buttons.

Alex hesitated and let her shoulders sage. "Someone stopped by."

"Okay, so, I was right, not shocking there." Jodie paused to add a smirk. "But she likes your friends which means...." she stopped again and frowned and looked over at Alex who seemed more guarded and closed off than usual. Her relaxed seated position came off forced and disingenuous. "Your family," she finished bitterly with her hands firmly on her hips.

The only reaction Alex supplied was a barely noticeable nod and she pressed her fingers against her temple harder and moved them clockwise against the soft area. Maybe if she pressed hard enough her fingers would go right into her brain, past the grey matter and she could scrap out any memory of her family. She hadn't though about them or had to be around them for years and now she was forced to.

"Is it your parents?" Jodie asked and tried to remain calm but failed as the bitterness slipped out.

Shaking her head Alex placed her hand that had been rubbing her temple on the desk and picked up a pen, anything for a distracting as she re-focused and looked through the folder again.

"Alex, stop." Jodie demanded but still managed to have a light tone as though she was waiting for her friend to acknowledge the situation.

"What?" Alex questioned with an undercut to it that was cruel.

"Don't even lash out at me. I am NOT here for you to take out your issues on," Jodie said raising her voice a little. Her words were precise and didn't allow any wavering. The seated girl looked over at her bookshelf full of folders, slightly ashamed of her actions and clenched her jaw again.

"I'm sorry," she offered, barely above a whisper but knowing the shorter girl would hear it.

"Accepted," her voice softened. She wasn't the issue, not even Alex's reaction was the problem. The ex was more than aware of what Alex's family's presence caused inside of the younger girl, even if she didn't always voice it. "Its your brother, right?" Jodie took another step forward and waited.

Another small, sharp nod was indicated by Alex.

"I can have someone beat the ever loving hell out of him." Jodie said with a smile. At least that got a slight chuckle from Alex. Both were conscious of the fact that violence, when it came to the former blond, was only used in self defense. But when it came to her blood relations she preferred to disengage and not become involved at all. Instead she chose to leave and she adopted her friends as her family.

"What is he doing here?" She asked, her voice shifting back to the softness that conveyed understanding.

"Didn't ask," the professional replied as she placed her elbows once again on the desk, elongating her back and feeling a few cracks and pops in the process. "He'll be gone in a couple days," she finally got out.

"He's staying?" Jodie asked in shock. And cleared her throat as though someone managed to change her voice. The little action made Alex smirk and lean back in her chair again.

"Hopefully five days at most."

"Okay, fine, but if your "family," she said with air quotes as she rose her hands, "isn't gone as soon as freaking possible I will gladly kick him." Then nodded. "In the balls," she added suddenly. "We don't want more Kelly's and none from him, the world already sucks. I'm thinking of the well-being of future generations. God, I am such a humanitarian," the shorter girl said with mock proud-ness and placed her hand on her chest as though she couldn't handle her own thoughtfulness.

Not able to stop herself she smirked at her friend, thankful that she was able to lighten the mood.

"Get to work," she said in an almost sing-song way. On her way out she half sang, half spoke, "If ya aren't out in five days-I'll kick ya in the balls, that's right. If you aren't out in five days-I'll kick ya in the gonads."

This time Alex let herself laugh out loud. Finally turning back to her work Alex prepared herself for a long day. Stretching her arms over her head she made sure everything in her back cracked and straightened out in her chair again, picking up one of the many files and settling in.

Hours later her phone made its buzzing noise, doing its job to proclaim there was a message. Dropping her notes and taking her hand off her mouse to her computer screen to pick up her modern Alexander Graham Bell invention.

Can you come to my house after work? Of course it was from Marissa.

What time? Alex replied.

7ish.

Okay.

For the rest of the day she didn't receive anymore texts. She had hours until seven and work would likely finish around 6. That gave her a little time to go back to her place, probably yell at her brother and eat something fast, change and get to Marissa's.

Pushing the thoughts out of her mind she got back to the paperwork. A stiff neck and some exhaustion stopped her from picking up another packet. Getting up to get some coffee she opened her door and saw Liv at the corner.

"Hey little girl, been here long?" Alex asked as though the puppy could reply. Bending down to give her a scratch on her chin she remained at her level. "Want to stay with me tonight?" The clear reaction the former blond was able to tell was a yes, yes, yes by the enthusiastic wagging of her tail which made her whole body shake. Smirking at her favorite four legged creature she stood up again and made her way to the coffee maker.

"Did I hear you correctly? You're going to steal my kid?" Jodie asked with her own barely contained smirk.

"One, she's not your kid, she's hardly my kid, she does what she wants. Two, yes, I have to remind her that she has another house to stay at and if you feed her anymore chicken she's going to be a little fatty," Alex finished, but was aware of the oxymoron. She looked down at the pup who whimpered. "No, I'd still love you, there'd just be more of you to love cutie." This prompted Liv to press her foot on the former blond's shoe.

"And the bad ass Kelly attitude just went out the window," Jodie replied and added a sound effect similar to a bomb falling and exploding. Alex sipped her coffee, content to finally have what she considered America's choice of drug slide down her throat. Letting the rest of the coffee head towards her stomach Alex made herself another cup of coffee, some hazelnut creamer in it, no sugar and headed back to her office, fully aware that she'd need another cup in an hour.

As predicted an hour later she was getting herself another cup of coffee, Liv following at her heels and sat back down at the desk as the professional tried to make a dent in the pile. She was only half way done when she realized it was 5:53. _Ah hell. Now I have the joy of rushing. _Getting up, putting a few things away, post it notes for tomorrow and whistling for Liv and then playfully added, "Follow the leader," she headed out to her Jeep and peeled out after she put the little pup in the passenger seat. Going through her usual routine she grabbed herself some Chinese food, something she knew Marissa would eat, some drinks and a treat for Liv who was waiting patiently in the Jeep. When everything was checked out Alex got back to the furry kid and found her asleep, curled up looking more cat-like. Quietly shutting her door she started her car and made sure to drive smoothly. The only noises Liv made accompanied her dreams and was still asleep by the time the short trip was over from the grocery store to the apartment. Picking her up gently and balancing the bag in her other arm Alex fumbled briefly with the keys and entered.

Taking a few minutes to put away some of the food that needed to be refrigerated she kept Liv tucked into the nook of her elbow. When everything was as she felt it should be she made her way up to her bedroom to take a fast shower. Allowing the puppy to remain comfortable she let her curl up on the end of her bed. Stripping off her clothes she looked around the room and saw that nothing had noticeably changed. Marissa had actually made her bed which surprised her. Checking the time with the modern clock on the wall the tired girl noted she'd have to take a 10 minute shower. Removing the rest of her clothes and grabbing a dark blue towel from the many dark towels in her small closet she took the few steps into her bathroom, turned on the shower, stretched as she let some of the steam build for a minute and stepped in. The shower took her about 8 minutes and feeling refreshed she grabbed some soft jeans that were very worn in and a hoody that was tight but still relaxing to wear.

"Ready to head back down little one?" She asked gently making Liv stir from the kiss Alex placed on her head. Allowing her newest edition to become acquainted with the wakened world she packed a few items in a shoulder bag for Marissa's then picked Liv up.

"Aaron..."

"Mmm what?" He asked with a muffle.

"You're eating my food." Alex said annoyed and had to instruct herself not to clench her fist taking into consideration Liv was in her arm. Taking a deep breath she set her down on the floor and was about to continue but the curious puppy bound over to the new person.

"The fuck, get off," he said as Liv pressed her paw on his exposed shin. Moving over to the small creature Alex was about to bend and pick her up again but instead Liv slid on the hard wood floor a good foot of distance after he kicked her out of the way. Immediately she bent and picked her up. She couldn't even talk right now. _The fuck is your problem! _Not wanting to cause fear in the puppy she didn't voice her visceral anger. Instead she took the cartons of Chinese that hadn't been opened, two out of the four containers and went back to the kitchen to grab another bag to head out. There wasn't any reason to insist that he stop being such a tool. Knowing her brother he wouldn't see reason or hear her views. But when it came to her family or the things in her life she would defend them, similar to someone else. _Jodie is going to kill him. Five days, five fucking days. God damn..._ And she shut the door hard, slamming it. _Asshole. _

For what seemed to be nearly the sixth time in the day Alex made a conscious effort to relax, this time as she drove. _A car accident would be a great way to end my fucking day. _Looking over at Liv who seemed okay, she put her arm on her head and then moved her fingers gently over her body to see if anything felt broken or off. Breathing easier she didn't notice any flinches or anything out of place but kept her hand on her head scratching at her ears.

When the car was parked, this time in the driveway she gathered Liv in her arms again, her shoulder bag and went to the front door. Not surprisingly it was unlocked. Julie Cooper didn't care and no one would think to rob from Caleb so it was easy to waltz in. Also "the help" knew who were the regulars and so it would be easy to phone the police if there ever was an issue, but Alex made her way upstairs and knocked on Marissa's door.

"You're late," she said as she held the door open but didn't step aside. Frowning at this, Alex held Liv a little closer to her body, slightly shocked by Marissa's chilled tone.

"About that, I was getting us food and okay, I'm a little late, but I wanted to take a quick shower and Aaron," Alex got out tiredly and started to become exasperated but Marissa cut her off.

"Don't you think you could have told me you have a brother?" The taller girl asked but more demanded.

"Ah, I did," she said with certainty and a frown, but remained calm even though her shoulders tensed and she stool up straighter.

"No, I would have maybe remembered that little fact about you have a brother and that your family may stop by." Marissa countered annoyed as the tone came off as mocking.

"I said I wasn't an only child," Alex said as she put Liv down and stood back up to face the high school girl. Marissa opened her mouth and then closed it, frowning back at Alex who now placed her hands on her own hips.

_She doesn't listen to me, I did mention it. I mumbled it, but does it even matter? I don't even say much and she doesn't really listen. _

As that thought finished she removed her hands from her hips and crossed them over her chest. This only causes Marissa to frown more and look perplexed. They stood like that, rooted and stuck in the moment for a minute that seemed to drag on much longer than sixty seconds. Then Marissa took a pensive step forward and placed her arms on Alex's shoulders, her hands coming around to lightly press into the back of her head as she laced her fingers in her hair and gently rubbed the back of her neck.

"I'm sorry," she offered, no more than a whisper. Alex could only sigh and remained with her arms crossed. She couldn't look at Marissa right now, even though she hated to admit to herself that Marissa was being comforting and offered and apology. In the back of her head she was still aware that her girlfriend didn't listen to her. In a lot of ways their relationship felt one sided. But she had to admit Marissa didn't apologize often and she meant it. She had to acknowledge that and how Marissa was trying. Nodding her head slightly in her own way she accepted the apology and slowly allowed her arms to have a will of their own as she wrapped them around Marissa's back. They remained in that content position for a few minutes, breathing in her girlfriend's scent Alex angled her mouth up to Marissa's jawline lightly kissing it and up further to leave a lingering kiss on her cheek.

"Mmm, you seem hungry," Alex noted when the thin girl's stomach made a noise. Laughing lightly Marissa stepped back but kept an arm around the surfer's neck as she placed her own hand on her stomach.

"Yeah, I was...a little too annoyed to eat earlier." Marissa countered gently.

Again the former blond nodded, aware she was the cause of her annoyance.

"Okay, well I have some food, I forgot it in the Jeep...but if you get some dishes we could eat downstairs since your mom doesn't seem to be here," Alex said gently thinking it would be nice to be alone and not have Julie Cooper looking in on them or possibly creating drama. Marissa nodded and leaned in for a brief kiss, her palm coming to rest along her girlfriend's jaw and then stepped slowly out of the embrace to move to her doorway. Following closely behind after Alex had picked up Liv who remained quiet the entire time and walked downstairs. Setting Liv next to Marissa's feet she went to get the food.

A minute later she was back inside. Her puppy was curled up on Marissa lap as they sat on the couch. Looking over at the modern, glass table that was across the room Alex could see that two plates were set out with silverware and glasses. Deciding it was better to have Marissa relax with her dog Alex placed the food on the plates for them.

_If Aaron hadn't already gotten into the food we'd have more. Instead I get ripped off. _Alex stopped herself mid-rant as she put more food onto Marissa's plate seeing as how the girl was hungry. Even though she had skipped lunch herself and had consumed numerous flavored coffees in place of anything substantial she gave Marissa larger portions. _Let's face it, the girl needs it. _She smirked to herself.

"Food's ready," she said after she looked up from the Chinese food that was still steaming amazingly.

"Great." Getting up slowly Marissa put Liv gently down on the floor and wandered to the table. As she sat down Alex went to the kitchen and got herself a glass of water since Marissa already had something in her glass.

"There would have been more food but Aaron already helped himself to some while I was in the shower," Alex stated without any emotions, annoyed by her brother's actions but also not shocked by them. In a way it was expected and becoming annoyed about it seemed pointless.

"Do you want to tell me...about your family?" Marissa asked as Alex took a seat near her. Taking a sip from her drink, the ice cubes clanging against the glass; similar to how that question stirred a mix of emotions in Alex. She set the glass down and peered at the table.

"Not today," she said tiredly. _Probably not ever. _

"Alright," Marissa replied after looking the former blond over. There was an edge of softness in her voice, a gentleness that they both knew implied that she would be patient and underneath that there was a little hope.

Picking up her fork Alex moved her food around her plate and watched Marissa enjoy the food.

_And this was only day one. _Unable to conceal her barely there sigh she continued to think in small phrases. _Damn it._


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Note: This story needs to end. Anyone getting bored of it? I am. As my beautiful/woman before her time grandmother would say: "Here's to those who wish us well and those who don't can go to hell." (Another fantastic quote by her appears in this story) And this story is only being written because there are too many notes on my cell phone about it. This is rushed, but I'll live. There will be another chapter.

* * *

Day 2

Opening her eyes slowly she felt compelled to shut them again. She was comfortable, her arm over Marissa's side but the sunlight was assaulting her senses. It was warm and peaceful but contrasted with her physical state. Her back was tense, she knew she'd have to stretch as soon as possible, she had slept all of maybe three hours in a dreamless sleep. They hadn't talked for the remainder of the night. The dinner went by with empty conversation of how was your day, how's so and so and overall it was a civil choir that seemed mundane. At least it did to Alex, but at least there was a heartfelt goodnight kiss before they got into bed.

And now here they were. Laying in Marissa's bed and the former blond couldn't decide if she should slip out of the bed and head to work or stay. _Should I stay or should I go? The Clash make it into my head this early? _

No wanting to wake Marissa or disturb her from her sleep Alex decided she needed to get to work instead of spending minutes debating her options. Her legs made up her mind for her when they pressed into the floor. Looking over her shoulder at the sleeping girl she let her eyes wander over the peaceful girl. She was surprised she could sleep when she herself felt restless and tense. It could have been her brother and how he was drastically changing her internal rhythm. Everything felt shifted and now she didn't even want to go back to her apartment. It felt invaded. But she turned back around, pressed her hands into her thighs and stool up. Briefly stretching and feeling a few joints crack and her spine elongate she felt her stomach become colder as her shirt rode up. Nearly jumping out of her skin, if that were possible she recoiled away from something even more cold. Marissa's hand slid up her lower back and rested there.

"Okay, I'm definitely up now,she said with a light sigh and tried not to move away from the touch even though her body protested and wanted to step away.

"Come back to bed," Marissa said gently, almost pleading.

"Work, and its Friday so you still have school, unless it got swallowed or more realistically they decided the education system fails," Alex said tiredly.

"Fingers crossed. And you know if I don't show up that only proves the wonderful system doesn't work," Marissa said with lightness in her voice as she moved her hand to Alex's hip and tried to pull her back into bed. The movement didn't seem possessive but non-verbally expressed a want. And turning around to fully face her girlfriend she slowly leaned down, allowed her own arm to glide along Marissa's side as she lightly kissed her lips.

"Still have to get to work, some of us have bills, an apartment, a business..."

"You're not normal," Marissa sighed and fell further into the bed but lacked any viciousness.

"If I was normal you'd be bored and I'd be bored of myself," the now standing girl said with a smirk and moved away towards her bag. It only took her a minute to change, pick Liv up and look back over at her girlfriend who was already close to sleep again.

"Go to class at some point, at the least to socialize and fake that you're social chair," Alex said with a bit of sarcasm. Truth be said she was a little envious that Marissa had the luxury to sleep in do what she wanted, but at the same time she was aware that people perceived a girlfriend a certain way, most would still think she's straight, and to be fair maybe she was straight but only liked Alex.

The former blond had to admit that happened to people, sexuality was complicated and at the same time simple because it was universal, but it was fluid, people changed from their experiences, genetics, external circumstances and what have you. But when it came to Marissa she wouldn't want her life. Julie Cooper and her daughter always seemed to walk on glass around one another while holding little daggers hidden under expensive clothes. She on the other hand lived her life the way she wanted. And she didn't have a mother to talk to her, which may make her life easier. Shaking her head she stopped her thoughts, already conscious that she didn't really envy her girlfriend's life.

"Mmmm," was the barely coherent reply from the taller girl who now moved closer into Alex's spot on the bed. Her eyes closed as she laid on her side and tried to get back to sleep-land, a place that was better than dreamland for her. Not being able to help herself the professional moved closer again and kissed Marissa on the cheek and headed back to her apartment to shower and head to work.

By the time she got to her apartment she felt tense, her back cracked if she moved her shoulders, and when she turned her key only to realize she locked her door she grumbled at the opening. _If my place got broke into, so help me, I'll let Jodie kill him. _

Pushing the door and stepping in she was glad to see nothing was taken but there was a mess all over the couch, the coffee table, the kitchen...and at that point she closed her eyes and took in a deep breath.

_Take a shower, go to work, come back here, ignore little brother. _She thought over her to do list and quickly made her way upstairs. Her routine went by quickly, she didn't relieve any tension as she drove to work listening to Explosions In the Sky, tapping her index finger against the steering wheel as she tried to not think about cleaning her apartment.

Luckily when she got to work no one bothered her, Liv stayed with Jodie and her day went by quickly, she didn't even have the time to notice that Marissa didn't text or call, even as it approached 7 'o'clock.

Jodie had stopped in around six to say she was stealing Liv because her girlfriend wanted her back. At least that warranted a smirk from the taller girl as Liv trotted over to the darker brunette. Closing up the office she felt more stiff as she searched through her Ipod and decided on Jose Gonzalez for the sake of calm music and the warm wind that flowed through her Jeep. The drive wasn't nearly as long enough as she would have liked. When she reentered her apartment it looked even more chaotic, this time there was a random guy sleeping on the couch. Not having the patience or care to find out who the person was she walked over and picked his feet up by the laces of his shoes and let them drop on the floor, immediately waking him up. However the guy remained groggy and slowly wiped the drool from his mouth. He frowned at Alex and sat up more, checking her out in the process in a blatantly clear way.

"Listen up kid, you have two minutes to get out of here or I will resort to using fire," she said sincerely as she placed her hands on her hips and looked down at him. She wasn't in the mood and there were ways to setting his shirt on fire, just for the hell of it.

In response the guy, who she assumed was her brother's friend appeared to lose his fatigue and stood up.

"Ah, okay. Bye," he said in a quick fluster as he shut the door. Looking around again she took in the mess. The only response she could do was close her eyes, if only for a few brief seconds. _Dear God, please make my place clean. _She thought and kept her eyes shut for another couple seconds only to squint and open one eye to peer out with pure speculation.

"I knew you didn't exist!" She said with a small amount of humor. Anything to distract herself was welcomed, even if she already knew what was to come, like watching a romantic comedy, only at the moment her life wasn't very romantic or comedic.

"Aaron!" The former blond said, raising her voice, aware that he would be in the guest bedroom.

"What's up?" He said as he came strolling out of the room bringing the smell of pot wafting after him. Raising her eyebrows she narrowed her eyes.

"You can't have people over. I thought I already laid out simple rules so you could stay here for a few days," she said tiredly.

"Dude, he just needed a place to crash for the day," he replied, unaffected by his sister's annoyance.

"I don't care."

"That's why you're a bitch," he replied with an easy shrug accompanying his flat tone. Instead of becoming annoyed as she knew he wanted her to be and rise to the cheap bait she frowned and smirked.

"Ah well," she said with her own shrug. "Three more days," she finished. The little reminder being a nice note for him. And then turned to go up and take her shower.

The rest of the night she cleaned as he stayed in the guest room and likely indulged in something she almost wanted. When she was finally done with cleaning and having a small dinner around nine she got into bed and picked up a book only to fall asleep after almost an hour of reading.

Day 3

Sometime was weighing her down and slightly tickling her. Her brain wasn't processing everything yet as she stretched out and enjoyed the light sensations that were focused on her neck. The movement caused more weight to be put on her, but it didn't feel confining, it was comfortable and somehow relaxing with the heat that came with it. A luxurious moan ended up escaping her mouth which came out as something that resembled a purr. The weight shifted off of her, the warmth removing as well, making Alex open her eyes slightly to see her girlfriend covering her mouth with her hand trying to hold in her chuckle that had no way of being fully contained. Small chuckles came from the fully awake girl as Alex looked up and pleasantly took in their positions and let it sink in that she could get used to waking up this way. Reaching her hands out she held Marissa's waist and pulled her back down gently, content to not speak right now and simply enjoy that she was there.

Marissa's arms came up along side Alex's head so she could look down at her before leaning forward and kissing along her jawline again, making her way towards her neck again.

"Mmmm."

Pulling back Marissa stopped her ministrations again and in turn denied her girlfriend anymore enjoyment from her physical affection. Sighing the still half asleep girl pressed her fingertips against the seemingly teasing girl's lower back to try to move her closer but instead Marissa only started laughing, this time without restraint.

"Ugh, what?" Alex asked but wasn't annoyed. Amusement was the more appropriate term.

"You...are...so...damn....cute," Marissa said very slowly, making the point to have the message overtly obvious and lingering as she glided her fingers along the former blond's lower stomach where her tank top had ridden up.

"I am never cute," Alex replied with certainty and emphasized the never.

"That's right," said with a nod. "You're sometimes cute," she said with a smirk and leaned down again to kiss her neck. "At least every other day," she whispered in her ear as she nipped the skin.

They spent nearly a half hour kissing and keeping up with their playful banter until Marissa's phone rang. Summer was close to yelling at her about being late to school. From Alex's point of view, which allowed for unbridled observation she could see Marissa's facial expression shift from amused to boredom and finally self deprecation. If anyone cared to notice, behind the popular girl's nonchalant attitude and bravado was a person who deeply cared about the connection to had to her few friends. When it came to Summer they went beyond friends. This was not only Marissa's best friend but she was more or less a sister and in many ways the teen hated to disappoint her.

"Sorry to make out and run, but I gotta go," Marissa said with another smirk that barely hide the inward criticism of her tone.

"Okay, I'll see you tonight maybe?" Alex asked softly, still enjoying the moment and the fact that Marissa hadn't moved.

"Summer said there's two more projects to do. I don't know I can," said with an edge of defeat in her voice.

"Alright, but if you have any questions on it you can call," the now fully awake girl said.

"You're usually a distraction, calling would be bad," she said leaning down again, her lips coming into contact with Alex's.

"Yeah and this isn't a distraction at all," she mumbled contently as she wrapped her arms around the taller girl again as though to will her to stay longer. A second later her phone rang again. Before she could even say hello Summer was yelling into the phone and Alex could hear everything as though Summer was in the room with them.

"Marissa Cooper, stop making out with your girlfriend! Yes, you are that predictable, now move it!"

The taller girl didn't seem to feel the need to respond since she shut her phone and threw it back on the bed, effectively disregarding her best friend for a minute as she kissed Alex harder as though she were trying to commit it to memory so she could get through her school day.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Another phone call, this time Marissa glared at Alex after she exclaimed her annoyance as the girl stretched out to retrieve it from the nightstand. Not bothering to look at the screen, assuming it would be Jodie calling about work or to patronize her.

"Pet pitbull! Let Marissa get to school!" Summer's impatient voice came through the phone. Alex's eyes widened and looked at her girlfriend who flinched at the tiny girl's tone that somehow managed to be intimidating and commanding from miles away.

"Um..."

"No um, no but, no excuses. Step one-remove your hands. Step two-lead her to your front door," she said with conviction.

Alex frowned. "How do you know where my hands are?" She asked and felt her hand twitch that was holding onto Marissa's hip.

"Because you're softer than cotton candy when it comes to her. NOW GET UP. And you can go to work," she finished in a nicer tone, though none of the conversation was said with malice.

"Okay, bye," replied quickly and shut her phone before she could be mocked again.

Sighing and falling back into her pillow she felt Marissa run her hands under her shirt up her stomach.

"You have to go," the content brunette said as she moved her hands behind her head and stretched some more.

"Okay, okay," Marissa said and slowly got off of Alex. "I'll see you....when I see you," she finished and started her descent on the winding staircase.

Reluctantly pushing herself up the frustrated girl made her way towards her shower. Taking another quick shower that was too fast to allow her to relax she got dressed went to work and did her usual file work, organizing, notes and orders. When she was done she again didn't have the time to notice that Marissa didn't contact her as she fell into her bed after another small dinner.

Day 4

Annoying wake up from the ringing of her phone. Though really it wasn't a ring, the vibrations made her get up.

She received a text message.

Marissa: See you at my place tonight or I come to yours?

Alex rubbed her head, she didn't have to get up for another half hour...

Fumbling with her phone, her fingers not interested in moving yet she replied-come over here? I'll make you dinner.

She received another reply less than ten seconds later-Well you sold me there.

A smirk adorned her face and she turned over to sleep some more.

The rest of the day went as per usual but with more mockery from Jodie about how Liv is starting to call her Mama. The former blond could only sigh and say her dog couldn't speak. To which Jodie replied that she says it with her eyes.

"Go away," Alex said and shooed her away with her hand humorously.

"I'm good, I'm gone," Jodie said in a sing song way channeling Lykke Li's lyrics as she went back to her office.

And the rest of the day was typical. Luckily when she got back to her apartment Aaron was in the guest room, being quiet, and even though Alex could smell the pot she was content knowing he was going to stay in his room. A few minutes after she walked into the kitchen and had set her groceries down Marissa walked in. Setting her bag against the couch she moved slowly to the kitchen, wrapped an arm around Alex's waist, her right arm touching the slightly shorter girl's neck and kissed her without an reserve.

"Mmm, did you have a good day?" Alex finally asked after a minute of composing herself and leaning against the dark marble counter.

"Not really," Marissa said gently with a shrug and tried to appear calm but it was obvious to Alex that she was tense.

"Dinner later? Want to sit down?" The business owner said and moved towards the couch, the latter girl slowly following. "Wait, you sit on the floor," Alex instructed.

Even though Marissa raised her eyebrows she took a seat on the floor after Alex placed a pillow on the ground and then sat behind her. Briefly moving the lighter brunette's hair away from her shoulders she cracked her knuckles and started to press her fingers into her girlfriend's shoulders eliciting an unrestrained moan as her shoulders slumped down more. The massage continued for a few minutes, both unaware that Aaron had come out of his room and stood with his mouth open. It wasn't until his voice cut through and disturbed the moment that Alex stopped moving her hands.

"Aw come on, that was hot," he said with a smirk. One of the many facial expressions Alex wanted to wipe off his face.

"Leave," she said tiredly, not even bothering to humor her brother.

"Alright, alright," he said as he started walking away but the turned on his heels and made a gun motion to Marissa, "But if you ever want the real thing, you come to me," he finished with a wink and immediately the surfer took her hands off of he girlfriend's shoulders and placed them on her hips.

Looking over her shoulder Marissa patiently waited for Alex, though she was clearly annoyed about the situation she simply chose to remain unattached. "Do you want to lay down with me?"

"Okay," the former blond replied with a sigh and made her way around the couch to lean back into it to allow Marissa to fall back into her. They sat in comfortable silence even though they were aware an antagonizing force was a room over. It would be redundant to discuss it but Marissa clearly felt that she had to as she kept taking in deep breaths as though to prepare herself for a conversation.

"He leaves in a day?" She asked gently.

"Yeah," the reply came softly but Marissa could feel Alex's tension behind her.

"Okay, because I miss spending time...just with you," the taller girl got out as she held onto Alex's knee and gave it a light squeeze.

"I miss time just with me too," she replied with a light tone that rounded off the end of her statement.

"You're a pain," Marissa said with a hint of laughter in her tone.

"Mmm. Want dinner now?" Alex said shifting back to their previous topic.

"Might as well, no school tomorrow and I'm going to sleep in. Are you going to work?" She asked as she removed herself from the couch.

"Probably," Alex replied as she followed Marissa into the kitchen and then stopped to stretch, a sigh coming from Marissa that seemed disappointed. "I'm going to make a quick meal, soup and rolls okay?"

"Yeah, sounds good," Marissa said detached making Alex frown as she prepared the meal. As the soup was heating up she grabbed the multi-grain rolls and cups and spoons. For the next fifteen minutes their routine went smoothly. They ate, didn't talk much except for when Marissa asked about a band or work or going on a date soon. Alex couldn't answer right away and guarantee a date in the next three days without looking at her schedule. By the time the dishes where in the dishwasher and all the lights were turned off and they were undressing for bed both girls seemed exhausted.

As they settled in, Marissa in her tank top and underwear, Alex in her boy shorts and fitted t-shirt; noticing that the high school student was shivering Alex asked if she was alright.

"I'm just cold," she said simply. Holding Marissa tighter she whispered in her ear.

"I know a way to warm you up," Alex said slowly and elicited a subtle reaction from the shivering girl who turned her head and kissed along Alex's jaw; not in a sexual way that implied that she wanted to have sex with her. It was a simple, non-verbal thank you. Alex got out of bed and came back with a sweater and a renewed smirk on her face.

"Such a smart ass," Marissa said as she was getting the item on and settled back in with a small smile.

In less than five minutes they were asleep.

Day 5

By morning Alex had to get up early and head to work leaving Marissa in bed to sleep in as she wanted. Quietly she took her shower, got dressed and left the apartment. She didn't even have enough time to pour herself a cup of coffee before Jodie came over and bluntly asked, "Is the tool is gone?

Sighing and filling her cup up all the way she kept looking at the dark liquid, unwilling to dilute it with cream and said, "Today. He's leaving today."

"Better be, but I'm coming over, because I can," Jodie said to Alex's back as the business owner made her way into her office. She had no doubt that her close friend wasn't bluffing.

Hours flew by but instead of staying the whole day, since it was a Saturday she decided on a half day and left a little after two. She knew it wasn't really a half day; it extended beyond the half way mark, but she, Jodie and about four other people were the only ones in the offices and most had left after they'd finished their work.

When she got back to her apartment she took a deep, conscious breath. She had to prepare herself for walking into the house that would never be her home as long as Aaron was there.. It was like a war that was never spoken of. Silent as though the two people inside were deaf and had no way of communicating. She knew she had given up the effort years ago and they settled into the comforting idea that it was constant and now typical. It had been the same way with her parents, the obligatory common courtesy and putting on a civil act in front of others. She kept staring at the door. Shaking her head, about to reach for the handle she stopped. Her body was becoming used to the tension. It was working its way into her bones and muscles, reaffirming her attempt to become emotionally absent and hardened. She couldn't stop herself from thinking though. Back in her parent's house she remembered-she would enter and go directly to her room. Now, she was about to walk into HER apartment and she stopped herself to ask- _am I malleable at this moment?_ He's family...her brother made her feel as though it wasn't hers. He made her feel unlike herself. _Still, I'm me._ _Its a constant even when I don't want to be. But I wonder what I've lost. How is it measured? Time is money, but I'm not going to get a refund. Oh, screw this. _

She pushed open the door, sick of her own self-indulgent thoughts. Clenching her jaw she looked over her apartment and saw Marissa in the kitchen. Behind her was Aaron who's mouth was moving but from the distance she couldn't hear what he was saying. As she got closer, she could make out the words, "Like I said, I'm the real thing and the better Kelly. You shouldn't be dating my sister," the end of his statement coming out with an undertone of disgust even though he tried to sound casual.

"Get out," Alex said in a chilled tone that left nothing of warmth as she moved closer to Marissa.

"Hey, can't blame a guy for trying," he said with a smile that was meant to come off as charming, but instead Marissa only moved closer to Alex.

"You need to leave." She said with control.

A door slammed, "Yeah, I hate to be the bearer of bad news," she paused and frowned but offered a smile that seemed more for herself. "Wow, I'm getting better at that, it almost sounded sincere," and raised her hands in a small, sardonic gesture that resembled a cheer then placed her hands back near her sides. "But who am I kidding? I love this moment," she said emphasizing the word love while she smiled gleefully. "Aaron, get the fuck out." Jodie finished coldly.

"Aww the bitch is back," Aaron said in an attempt to appear calm by downplaying the past, but didn't manage to mask it since his shoulders squared and he took a step away from Alex and Marissa.

"Nope, I'll be outside, waiting for you to leave," Jodie said calmly and left just a quickly as she had come in.

"You have five minutes to get what you have and leave," Alex interjected. Aaron shifted his eyes back over to Alex and the flash of anger came so suddenly that she didn't have time to register the punch to her face.

"You always have to be such a bitch," he said as his hand was still in a fist. Lifting her head back up to look him in the eyes she narrowed her gaze.

"Like father-like son," she said in a monotone, unwilling to engage.

"Whatever," he said dismissively and turned around to get his things.

Marissa stood stunned, it was fast and chaotic on such a small scale but it was also painfully pointless. He had no reason to hit her, no one should hit her and she didn't do anything. She was beyond furious that she stood there immobile, processing the actions.

Four minutes passed and loud noises could be heard from the guest room. Thirty seconds later Aaron was about to step foot out the door.

"Stop," Alex said commandingly and surprisingly Aaron halted but turned around with a grin on his face. Reaching down and unzipping the bag she pulled out a record. His smile vanished having assumed they'd have a confrontation and he'd get a chance to possibly punch her again or at least give emotional damage. Tucking the rare music under her arm, she narrowed her eyes to the slightest degree. He got the message as he let out an annoyed huff and walked out. She however kept staring at the door, almost daring it to open again but let her shoulders drop when a few seconds had passed. Turning around she walked back over to the kitchen and set the vinyl on the counter. Waiting a moment for Alex to look at her and then deciding that her girlfriend wasn't going to talk Marissa gently touched Alex's forearm. In a way that said she was with her and wasn't leaving but also that she was physically there.

"How did you know he had it-the album....?" Marissa asked hesitantly, starting with a question that seemed easy and light.

"I know him. He doesn't know me," she replied tersely and finally looked up at Marissa who had tears in her eyes that were right on the edge of their escape onto skin. Alex couldn't look at her right then, she was the cause of that. _More drama and family issues that Marissa didn't need. Then again, who ever needs it?_ Alex backed away slowly and moved out of Marissa's reach to stare at a wall. She kept staring, as though it held a secret, a release and a lie.

"Don't punch your wall," Marissa said quietly but with certainty and a hint of the wife tone that Alex took notice of.

"Its my apartment Riss, I can do what I want," Alex countered, annoyed, but not at her girlfriend, a fact they were both aware of.

"Yeah," Marissa said louder, agreement in her tone, "But I like your hands," she finished softly.

They stared at one another. Alex finally stopped glaring at the wall. Marissa took the few steps towards the brooding girl, free of any hesitancy and gently held her hand.


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Note: This is the end. I won't and cannot apologize if it isn't to anyone's liking. I've enjoyed writing Alex. I of course have borrowed moments and things I have said in my life and used it in this but this story was never meant to be shared. But there were too many notes written on my cell phone, notebooks, during classes, before sleep (which is relaxing) that it needed to be finished. The format I think is all over the place and the length is a bit ridiculous, no? (10, 410 words) I won't be writing anymore fanfiction after this. (Might be time to finish my "book".) Either way-this is it. Done, fin, end scene. Thank you to anyone who has read this.

* * *

Memory was failing, she was blinding walking as she suddenly stopped and realized she was in her bedroom. There was the possibility that they would be able to talk and be a family but now it was self evident that it would never happen. She accepted it as she washed the blood from her hand; the water having a cleansing affect even though she felt heavy and distant. Now it was easier to cut ties. She'd grown used to dropping people from her life. By this point it was second nature. They didn't deserve to be in her life, but it still hurt-that they didn't want her to be in theirs.

Somehow it made it that much easier to mentally approach people in her ex-family and view them as dead, as she figured they likely viewed her. It made it concrete and she didn't glance back. No remorse, no guilt, and at this point without animosity.

After she had punched the wall she hadn't spoken a word for a few hours, not for conversation sake anyway. Instead she had put on music, occasionally sang along and listened for its escapist qualities but now it was night out and almost edging towards that time to sleep. Marissa hadn't talked to her or tried to start for the silent hours that had passed slowly. After she had squeezed her hand, they remained standing in the kitchen until the former blond gently dropped the high school student's hand, picked up the record and went to her music room. There she had stayed but now she didn't know when she made it to her bedroom and now without any distractions she breathed in deep breaths to try to ground herself.

There was a hole in the wall of her music themed room she needed to fix now, but in the long run it didn't matter. It was something that could be fixed and no one would know there was damage there. People weren't like walls, though they built them to protect the violence the world bestows on them. Sometimes it was the verbal assaults that hurt the most.

She wondered who it would look like if each form of violence stayed on people as a bruise, a cut, a gash, a wound. If people walked around with all the evidence like inflicted tattoos, would people stop being so sadistic and willing to harm? Would there be an end to any trauma? She doubted it. What if people wore their hearts on their sleeves? She stopped herself from her thoughts and decided to wear armor instead. She felt like marble-cold, solid, immovable. But if you considered it and looked closely you'd know that it comes with its lines and jagged cracks and discoloration. The question, Alex felt, was if Marissa would look close enough to see past the surface.

Marissa was already sitting in her bed, her legs crossed, back against the headboard and stared at Alex, not judging her, not really observing her, but waiting. Alex's hands shook slightly, she couldn't get the button of her black blouse undone. Stopping, she looked at the ground, realizing this is it. She really didn't have a family. Her friends and Marissa were in family. In many ways she didn't have to have her guard up with her friends or question if there was an ulterior motive behind their actions, unless they were clearly joking. But this was it for her. She had no reason to try to contact her family. These epiphanies kept repeating in her head and finally she let her shoulders sag, almost as though a weight was gone, but she also felt empty, how she felt that paradox she wasn't entirely sure. She couldn't explain why if someone asked her to.

Words didn't always work, they're limited and tend to fail but she was ambivalent. It didn't even register when Marissa was standing in front of her until she squeezed her hand again. This time Alex wasn't the one to drop her hand from Marissa's. The taller girl was slowly undoing the buttons, looking at them intently until the blouse was open all the way, a narrow strip was spaced out showing what was underneath, but Marissa lifted her eyes and looked at Alex.

"You know I love you right?" Marissa asked gently and Alex could only swallow. For some reason that made her want to just let go and let the tears come. She felt angry at herself for that, it wasn't her typical reaction but Marissa was holding her hands and pulling her in closer and she couldn't help but breathe her in as her arms wrapped around the girl's waist.

It felt real. She knew that people threw words around too often and love was heavy. She always felt it to be a universal emotion, but it was personal for everyone, subjective, powerful and at the same time it made people weak. It was bittersweet in so many ways, but at this moment the words mattered.

"I love you too," Alex whispered and pulled her in a little closer as Marissa moved her forward as well, her arms on the former blonde's shoulders. Leaning her head back Marissa kissed Alex on the cheek and held her lips there until she pulled back briefly to look at Alex again who's eyes looked darker and kissed her on her lips. In was relaxing to have that nonverbal symbiosis that had become second nature again. Alex couldn't help it, she softly moaned into the kiss. It was reassuring that she was loved and felt it. Marissa was conveying the message. The kiss embodied a declaration-she was going to stay and she wanted to be there.

Slowly taking off her blouse, Alex was mindful to not brush her knuckles against Marissa knowing they were in the process of bruising.

The rest of the night went slowly. Marissa took her time and made the point to maintain as much eye contact as possible. Little was said but hours later after they had exhausted themselves after numerous stops , recharges and resuming they had fall asleep.

By morning it felt different and final that it was done and something had shifted with her and Marissa. It felt heavier as Alex watched her sleep. For once her girlfriend looked peaceful. There weren't any frowns adorning her face or small mumblings of discontent. Not wanting to disturb the high school student Alex got up, took her shower, got dressed as she looked over her girlfriend who was still in bed, and tried to make it downstairs. She was a little startled to feel Marissa gently take her hand and lead her back to bed.

"I have work," she former blonde said with some happiness in her voice, blatantly not minding being pulled back to bed.

"Yes, but I want to give you a massage, so lay down," Marissa softly commanded with a still sleepy smirk.

"Well if I must," Alex complied and playfully rolled her eyes.

Somehow in the next minute her shirt and tank top were gone and she was left in her pants and bra. Pushing up a little to look at Marissa who was straddling her back she tried to suppress a shiver as her girlfriend ran her fingertips then nails up and down her spin.

"I know this is just an excuse for you to feel me up," she said with raised eyebrows.

"Awww, I'm that transparent?" Marissa joked, the question lacking the need for an obvious answer.

"Pretty much, but its appreciated," the relaxed girl said as she placed her head back down and stretched out in bed. Though with Marissa's continuous teasing Alex really felt compelled to get to work otherwise she'd spend all day in bed and Marissa had school. She finally went to work after a brief but playful fight and spastic grabs for her shirt from Marissa. Placing a soft kiss near the light brunette's temple after Marissa had helped her with the buttons she finally left the apartment.

Of course work went by as it always did but it was a Friday and I turn she knew she had to go to the Bait shop and check in with everything and everyone to see if it was running smoothly. Jodie didn't bother to make her somewhat witty remarks as the former blonde was heading out the door. The Bait Shop appeared to be doing better and so Alex tended the bar for a half hour, again careful to avoid hitting her knuckles on anything and then went to the office to relax. For some reason it hit her again that she didn't have a blood family, it wasn't an issue when she didn't have to think about it but when she had nothing to do and she had the time to sit down she couldn't stop her negative thoughts. The couch was the same as it had always been, comfortable enough to sleep on but not wanting to fall back into that habit she stood up and went back down to help tend the bar. Action was the enemy of thought. She remembered that line from a movie and at that moment she decided it would be prudent to immerse herself and keep busy to stay distracted from the fact that she felt unsteady. The illusion of a foundation was gone.

Two weeks had passed with the same routine. Work, Bait Shop on Fridays, even though she didn't have to work every Friday her old boss didn't mind at all, and in between those obligations she didn't have much time to talk to Marissa or really spend time with her. When they did get together they would have dinner, make out, sometimes in bed of the shower but Alex refrained from anymore physical affection. As if sensing Alex's mood Marissa spent more time with Summer of claimed to have more school work to do.

Another two weeks passed with less time together. It wasn't until Friday night when Marissa had stayed at Alex's apartment by herself for hours waiting up for the older girl that they had a real conversation.

"Alex...can we talk, please?" Marissa asked gently after she stood up from the couch. She should have known based on her body language alone that something was wrong. Walking closer to her quickly Alex gently held onto Marissa's biceps and asked with worry, "What's wrong?"

"I...I feel like we're falling apart." Marissa moved out of Alex's delicate hold and shrugged away, taking a step back, further making her point.

Alex frowned at the words, though they were clear, she felt they were distorted, more so slashed at her core as if a knife was sawing through a kaleidoscope. Her attempt to lighten the mood was in vain as she offered a lame joke. But the next ten minutes that felt like a complete cliché felt more like an hour as Alex couldn't vocalize any of her thoughts. She wanted to say or express in some way to Marissa that she'd agree with her. She was hard to love, why else did her family not want her and why didn't anyone ever push her when they knew she was in a way quietly drowning?

_I'm not sure how I feel about that. And I'm more confused because I want to kiss you if I could gather the voice to ask. Begrudgingly I admit I'm wrong in accepting your love when I fight you at every turn and now its predictable. _

Woman of few words that she was, she stayed in her head even as Marissa tried talking to her. The silence hurt. It would be typical to say that it was deafening, but it was just a reminder that they'd run out of things to say. And the hard, brutal but quiet truth was that they weren't worth the fight. At least that's how Alex felt. The look the girl was giving her was one of frustration and sadness. If she could have guessed right she thought that in Marissa's position she would have felt it was like talking to a brick wall. Frustration won out when she picked up her few things and left the apartment. Leaving Alex to stand stock still and finally blink to clear away the haze that she could have sworn settled over her eyes.

_Maybe she's pulling away because I did...it was the distance...maybe I always knew, I always fucking knew it wouldn't work. It doesn't even matter anymore; the emotional, mathematical equation has the same fucking product. Same outcome. The break, the broken-ness, the coming apart-if we were ever really together. _

She immediately stopped herself from thinking. Looking around her apartment that now seemed so overwhelmingly large and empty she went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. It was all surreal as though she had just come back from work and was waiting around for Marissa to come through the door, the exact opposite she realized of what just happened. Moving the bottled water back and forth in her hand and staring at the contents of her refrigerator she put it back on the shelf and picked up a beer. Twisting it off, not caring that it had slightly cut into her palm she went to the open living room and sat down on the couch.

_Your girlfriend just broke up with you. Again. _

She took another, large gulp of the beer.

_Well that was inevitable wasn't it?_

Tapping the side of the bottle and pulling pack the label distractedly she stopped on impulse and took another swig in a futile attempt to stop her up from the couch she grabbed her Ipod from her bag that she had left on the counter and plugged it into the speaker blasting her LIVID playlist that contained numerous punk, rock, rather angry songs. Since her beer was almost gone she got out another one but put it back, annoyed at her own indecisiveness and got out the bottle of vodka. She smirked to herself, well aware that even in her desire to get away from Marissa her drug of choice was vodka too.

An hour later she was pretty much gone. Unfortunately she was left to her own thoughts.

_You aren't worth loving or the effort. Cheers to that! _

She knocked back the bottle again. Not surprisingly a few minutes later she was asleep, free of her thoughts as she fell into a dead rest even as the songs were blasting.

When she woke up a couple hours later she felt sick. Carrying her head she didn't even bother trying to get some water, she went right to the bathroom and emptied her stomach. It was a relief she hadn't thrown up much. And being that it was almost one in the afternoon she went back to the kitchen and got another bottle of beer.

_Why not? I haven't drank, really drank in a long time. This is the perfect excuse. _She laughed lightly to herself but it came out bitterly and tipped back the bottle for a large gulp. The process continued until after the second beer she was bored with the taste and upgraded to vodka again. Frowning she took in the silence and looked at her Ipod that was now dead. Picking it up she plugged it into the charger and went to her record room after she hit her elbow on the door frame grumbling that'll leave a mark.

Putting on some more loud punk music she sat in the big chair and kept consuming and ingesting liquid fire. It burned and she enjoyed it. Subconsciously she knew it connected to her intention of self harm and slowly become numb. It was legal poisoning so why not? She thought sardonically and she felt the tangible proof of why people drink so they don't have to feel. Passing out hours later after the music helped her halt the thoughts she again avoided dreams.

The drinking didn't end the next day though. It was a Sunday and no one had called or had come by. She was free to free fall into her demise for as long as she wanted. At least until work tomorrow. Another large amount of alcohol was on its way to her stomach again. She refused to feel sick though she should have been since she hadn't eaten in two days. With her thoughts weighing on her she didn't remember to have actual food or anything of substance, the vodka was filling enough, and sometimes she'd chew on the ice cubes. But when she had to go to work she dressed as she always did but grabbed her silver coffee mug, put chocolate soy milk in half of it and vodka to fill the remainder. Whipping it up with the little machine she placed the top on and went to work. Grabbing another small bottle of vodka she put it in her bag and headed out. Admitting that she wasn't a completely selfish bitch she didn't drink and drive, but the moment she was in her office she started in on her work and letting the drink slide down her throat. A few hours later Jodie came in after Alex had put the last of the extra vodka in her drink that barely had any chocolate taste to it now. Looking up from the paperwork that didn't seem as tedious as usual she closed her eyes when she was carrying Liv.

"You should take her home, she seems to miss her."

"I can't," the former blonde said tensely but the unhappiness was clear.

"Why not?" Jodie asked with a frown.

"Can you just keep her for a week?" Alex asked, looking at her desk and paperwork, not able to have this conversation with Jodie now.

"Somethings going on with you." Jodie narrowed her eyes after the slightly drunk girl looked up.

"Please," she asked and leaned back in the chair, still avoiding prolonged eye contact.

The darker brunette nodded and quietly left the room, conscious that now wasn't the time to try to have a real conversation with her friend. Not that she had gone in to discuss business, she was only checking in on her.

Sighing the former blond stared at her computer and grabbed her drink again, settled into her chair, her shoulders sinking back and tried to stay awake. Instead she was in that state of half asleep and had a sense of deja vu as her brain felt the masochistic need to go back and rehash a conversation with her twin.

"_You cut out," he was screaming at her. "We were a family, you broke us apart!" _

"_I have nothing to atone for. It was already broken," she replied calmly. _

"_No, you were the reason for it," he kept pushing and leaned into her face. _

"_Our family atrophied, it was expected," the calm tone still there but right underneath the bit of impatience was evident. Everyone had their limits and he was close to it. _

"_You were the cause!" He replied, contesting her restrained demeanor and appeared petulant._

"_I was not this cataclysmic thing," she got out, finally frustrated with his insistence as she lifted her arms and held her hands apart as though she was holding an invisible ball in her grasp. That invisible thing was her sexuality, her refusal to bend to what her parents wanted or demanded from her, it was her stubbornness that she probably inherited from her father. To them her whole attitude was an issue and didn't fit in. she wouldn't bend or break. Another problem was the dynamic between her and her father. They had similar temperaments and she couldn't and would never apologize for a small aspect of her personality. It was only a piece of her and if they couldn't accept her-all or nothing she didn't have to respect her. Respect was earned, not given out freely because of age or status. _

_Aaron shook his head, his arm and hand held in a fist was shaking at his side. Moving to grab her bag Alex slung it over her shoulder and left the house for the last time. No goodbyes, no hugs, no farewells, no hope to see you soon, this was it and she wasn't going to stay for the sake of hope or the chance that they'd change. She had better things to do, life would have to catch up with her because she couldn't stay in a place that felt exanimate and so overbearingly dead with its listless people that lacked anything that resembled love. They couldn't even imitate it if their lives depended on it. The house was full over power plays and invisible locks._

That was her brain's cue to wake up. Stretching and attempting to get up she sat back down, feeling the vodka finally hit her system. At that moment Jodie decided to come in and sat with intense observation. Looking back at Jodie Alex occupied herself by shutting down her computer, her movements slow as she maneuvered the chair around and put a few binders back on the bookshelf.

"You're drunk," Jodie said without an accusatory tone.

"Mmm, how could you tell?" Alex said after a small, dis-concerning nod.

"You smile more and for no reason," Jodie said flatly.

"Okay," the former blond said slowly, slightly amused that was her tell.

"You're not driving, I'm taking you back to your place," the brunette said with zero room for debate and stood up from the chair leaving her coworker to follow.

By the time they got to the car Jodie had shaken her head at least three times at her friend's disposition. "I'm going to pray for you," she said while getting in the car. For Alex it took a little longer than expected but the smaller girl waited patiently, not being able to remember when Alex was drunk at work. _This might be a first_ she considered.

"Said the atheist," Alex said with a smirk, knowing Jody was bluffing about espousing hope to any higher power that happened to be listening, but was probably out of service, the former blonde thought.

The drive was short but Jodie tried to drive less sporadic as usual in part so Alex wouldn't throw up in her car and because she also knew how it felt to be drunk and riding with a crazy driver that only added to feeling sick, but Alex didn't look sick to her. When she parked, got out of the car after the former blonde, she trailed her into the apartment and quietly shut the door but immediately took in the lingering beer smell and various bottles adorning the table, counter and floor.

"Had a party?" She pretended to ask, already aware of the likely situation.

"A one person party," Alex said with another smirk, trying to be witty.

"What happened?" Jodie asked clearly cutting to the chase. No one would say she wasn't blunt.

The slightly drunk girl who had never had the chance to really be sober for about three days shrugged. She couldn't really answer the why. She'd considered them and tried to dissect the how and why.

"Marissa broke up with me," she said without any emotion; it was as though she was giving a bored, mandatory science report.

"She broke up with you?" She asked shocked, dropping her consideration and quiet tone.

"Oh, okay, you're very loud," Alex said as she pressed her fingertips to her temple.

"After all you've done for her?" She said exasperated as she asked a clearly rhetorical question.

The taller girl only shrugged and moved her arm back down to her side and visibly deflated. "Lets face it Jody, I don't fit in her world."

"That bitch." Jodie angrily expelled and started to pace.

"Okay, stop that, its making me have a headache." Alex said and turned around to get a beer from the fridge to keep up the pace of the drunkenness.

"Did she say that? I'll kick her ass! And I know she stole my heart necklace." Jodie said without pause and certainty. Not able to stop herself Alex smirked but it vanished after Jodie looked at her expectantly.

"She didn't have to say it. I can't force myself to be in her life." Not sure what to say to that Jodie chose to instead hug her friend and sit, waiting for Alex to talk if she chose to. Though clearly she was in a mood and so when Jodie got a call and had to go she promised Alex they'd talk more. Leaving quietly, Alex looked at the door and again felt empty in her modest, empty apartment. It was desolate, the way Alex felt. The alone-ness that allowed for self medication until she felt like coming up for air. Like being in a pool, holding your breath-feeling suspended and alienated.

The next day she couldn't think of any logical reasons to stop drinking. She was getting used to the continuous, mind numbing effects that she welcomed with open arms and possibly a sexy wink depending on her mood. All the memories swirled around and drove her desire to consume more. To burn away thoughts with liquid escape, which only culminated in a hangover the next morning, resulting in the young woman reaching for the near empty vodka bottle to quell such feelings of sickness. Though if they were psychological or emotional she couldn't tell. The whisper was loud enough to shatter her composure and reality. The lack of action spoke volumes as she stood in silence, shutting down. And it was the silence that added to the emotional inflictions. It could have been screaming, but the quiet was worse when there was so much to say to one another. Its the quiet that's frightening.

That's where she was. In her apartment, listening to the absence of noise, going back in her head over the breakup, how they didn't yell at one another. She had packed her few things and left. She remained standing in the kitchen as Jodie dropped by again. She didn't stay long, Cameron called and they were headed out for a date but she double checked with the former blond to see if she needed anything and even offered to make a few calls or text messages to some women who they both knew wouldn't mind distracting her. Alex declined the invitation, slightly feeling like a piece of meat but knowing that wasn't Jodie's intention.

Another week went by, same routine, although she had become more subtle with drinking at work. For two days she didn't drink at work and chose to stick with coffee. At one point in the day she didn't bother to work for three hours. She just sat there thinking of things she didn't want to think about. The idea of Marissa coming back and knocking on her door. The result of that was she could visualize herself not saying anything as the high school student would walk in and she'd go towards the kitchen but watch the taller girl with apprehension and then she'd grab something out of the cupboard. Marissa would stare at her with a frown and ask- Why do you have salt?

In Alex's daydream she looked back at Marissa after dropping her eyes to the shaker and reply dryly- So you aren't inspired to pour it into my metaphorical wounds.

Fed up with how her daydreams featured Marissa as the main focus and annoyed by how un-witty they were she kept drinking her coffee. The switch to the upper made her feel somewhat discombobulated and so when she got back to her apartment she went for the fridge and grabbed another bottle of v. Hell, her brain wasn't even in the mind frame to produce whole words as she shortened vodka to v. A half hour into sitting down and once again forgetting to eat there was a knock at her door but a second later Jodie came strolling in. At least to Alex it looked akin to a stroll seeing as how most actions were in slow motion.

"What are you doing? I couldn't reach you on your phone. You're behind on work. I never thought I'd say that." She finished bemused but still frustrated.

"All work and no play makes Jodie a dull girl. All work and no play makes Jodie a dull girl. All work and no play makes Jodie a dull girl. All work," the seated, somewhat sprawled out girl said in a sing song fashion.

"Funny," she said with a glare. "Wait. That was actually funny.....which means...you're tipsy!" She said raising her voice.

"I'm fine and you know I'm fine. I'm always fine." She said sitting up straighter to give the impression. Refusing to accept that blatant cover up Jodie went into the kitchen and checked under the sink and the side of the trash where bottles were overflowing from the container.

"The local liquor store may be in business from your revenue, you're single handedly responsible for their profits. Well done," she finished sarcastically.

"Go me," Alex said with a smile. "And they said I wouldn't accomplish anything." She joked with a smirk and once again took another sip that had become far less dull than when she had first started today.

"Ah. See! I knew it." She said, ready for the conversation to grow serious. "Letting your twin stay would make you think about those people who created you," she said with growing annoyance, though both were aware Jodie purposefully chose her syntax to leave out the term parents. "God Alex. You know you have your own life. Okay, you don't have a life now..."

"Har har," she former blond said while slightly moving her head back and forth and then slumped down into her couch.

"Its love Alex!" Jodie screamed at her. Really screamed at her. "Deal with it!." Not bothering to reply the now more than tipsy girl took another gulp of the vodka and couldn't make eye contact with her friend.

"That's it. I'm calling someone and you're going to stop being so immature," the shorter girl said tiredly as she looked down at her friend. Waving her hand in Jodie's direction, in her own way she signaled her co worker and what could be considered a best friend, if she believed in that, to do whatever. At that Jodie headed for the door, knowing she wouldn't get much of a dialog and started dialing on her phone as she left.

Again Alex was left alone with work to do, that she didn't entirely feel focused on, dvds surrounding her, tons of music, a bed she could pass out in, but instead she chose to turn on the TV and channel surf. Flipping through she stopped on a rerun of Saturday Night Live but grew bored. Most people weren't funny during that circuit. Then she stopped on Comedy Central which was rarely funny but Janeane Garofalo was doing her stand-up or it was a repeat. "I guess I just prefer to see the darker side of things. The glass is always half empty and cracked and I just cut my lip on it and chipped a tooth."

"Cheers to that!" The former blond said to the screen, raised her bottle and took a drink. A few more minutes of that but then becoming inevitably bored with the commercials she channel surfed again and came across Dawson's Creek. Trying to figure out why people ever liked the show she tried to watch a few minutes of it before she ended up glaring the characters and screaming, "Fuck you Dawson, I hope you drown in your creek. My hell you're soooo annoying." Then she took another drink, flipped through more channels, wound up on CNN. Taking the time to see what bullshit and misery was happening in the world that week she wasn't shocked to hear about a politician being a class A waste. "They're all crooks!" She screamed again and in frustration quickly went through more channels until she landed on a local indie music show and fell asleep. Her sleep was restive and fragmented. Though she was content when waking to have music in her head in substitution of dreams.

It didn't take long for her brain to kick in at the absence of the taller girl.

_You'd think after a week of not exactly being sober I'd wake up and not think about her, but no. Stupid brain. I'm going to put in an order for a new one. Really? Did I even love her? Or did I feel like I wanted to be needed and I liked the emotions that came with it? Or did I want to be the knight in shinning armor or did I love her at all? Or was it just to see if she loved me before? _

Halting her thoughts there was a knock at the door. Grumbling and getting up, she looked around, shrugged and decided that apathy was better than caring about the superficial look of her apartment.

"Alex," an attractive woman said after the door was opened. Frowning, the taller woman looked at the visitor and couldn't for the life of her remember where she knew her from.

"No hello? Okay, I'm Jaqueline." She said readjusting her purse on her shoulder. "Jodie said I could come by and talk with you...or...she mentioned I could just yell at you to clean your place." She said with a small smile. In response Alex crossed her arms over her chest for the sake of appearing intimidating but failed considering this girl only smiled a little more and relaxed, appearing patient as she tilted her head a bit to the side.

"We met at a bar once, then Jodie remodeled my place and you came in to check on things but left quickly." She offered. Visibly letting her shoulders drop, Alex felt more calm, it fitting together how they briefly knew of one another.

"And Jodie just called you up and told you to come on over?"

"Not exactly. She, Cameron and I were out getting drinks and she mentioned your current state...and I said something to the effect that I wouldn't mind meeting you again," Jaqueline offered gently and honestly.

"So you're not here to...babysit me?" The former blonde asked with some bitterness at Jodie's audacity to give the go ahead to allow this woman to show up at her apartment.

"No, nothing like that. If anything, this was more a...pre...date," she got out slowly, searching for the right words, but without any tone that implied expectations. At that Alex stood up straighter, a new frown covering her features as let the shock sink in over Jodie's actions. Yes, she knew they were well intentioned but if she wanted a date, she could get one. Why couldn't her friend understand that?

Turning her head she forgot that she had her Ipod going. It was automatic to grab it and plug it into the stereo the minute after she woke and so when Nada Surf's song "Almost Love" and its lyrics-But I never learned enough, to listen to the voice that told me, always love, hate will get you every time....

She ran back into the kitchen and unplugged it. There was no desire to listen to it. She didn't want to be told to take a chance, love, let yourself get hurt. It was a misplaced song that no longer fit her mood no matter how upbeat it sounded.

The only thoughts it inspired were those to the one girl who ever got close enough to cause damage. Looking back, it seemed to be nothing more than a fallacious relationship. Why go through the effort of being open? She resented how she had been vulnerable. As open as she got and in turn she only proved herself right. The first break up should have been cogent enough to not go another round. But somehow her emotions had taken control and in reaction to that she steeled herself. Without sway she had decided to become stoic and unflinching in her cerebral act to throw away feelings. If she turn them into wood she'd toss them in a fire and watch them dissolve into ashes.

When she turned around Jaqueline was still standing in the doorway but kept up her patient disposition by waiting for to be invited in, not wanting to intrude. Taking in a deep breath , unaware of how long she had been lost in though, Alex readied herself and quietly but asked clearly, "Do you want to come in?"

Without words, which Alex appreciated, the already comfortable silence, the woman entered her place and kept eye contact, evidently not caring by the distracting disarray.

"Would you...like to watch a movie," Alex offered, looking over at her TV.

"Sure," Jaqueline replied without an overeager tone, though it still managed to come out nicely. It was obvious she was comfortable with herself and didn't need to put on fake enthusiasm. The next two minutes the former blonde spent finding a movie but couldn't really decide, her mind preoccupied by other things.

"What are you in the mood for?" Alex asked to be considerate.

"Something light, if I watch a horror movie I'm going to be worrying about my kid," Jaqueline said off offhandedly which made Alex raise her eyebrows.

"You have a kid?" She said shocked and looked over the woman more who didn't look over 24 and had a slim build.

"Yeah, she's almost a year old. My sister's watching her right now, probably teaching her bad things...but she'll get away with murder so...no worries there," she said with another small smile.

_Hell, she's cute. _

"Ah...how old are you...if you don't mind my asking?" Alex posed the question with interest but trepidation to avoid offense.

"Thirty," Jacqueline responses with self annoyance.

_She doesn't look a day over 26 so what the hell. _She thought and looked back at her collection of films.

"You don't look thirty...."she said still looking at the movies but shook her head. "Mind picking one out...I'm probably not in the best mood to choose?" Alex continued.

"I could tell," Jaqueline offered gently "and its not a problem," she said as she leaned down next to Alex who looked at the older woman's profile. Her eyes were a nice light blue, she had sun freckles, and an intense concentration but overall relaxed way about her. Stretching to a stand position Alex quickly picked up the beer bottles and other things around couch and put them quietly in the kitchen or under the sink in the recycling.

"You could tell?" Alex said a little louder than her norm as she was disposing of the evidence of her self destruction.

Nodding, Jaqueline looked over to Alex and said without any pretentiousness, "Masters in psychology," as as a means to explain.

By the time the sluggish business woman was done Jaqueline had picked a movie. The coffee table, that never had coffee on it was now clear and they had settled into the couch. It wasn't odd that they were sitting close together. What was odd was how relaxed Alex felt. She didn't feel pressured by Jaqueline to be a certain way. For the next hour they laughed at the humor and at some point the former blonde paused it after Jaqueline had inquired to where the bathroom was. But before she told her, Alex asked if she wanted popcorn or something to drink, anything, name it and she'd make it.

"Its your night off, right? Go crazy," she said with a smirk that wasn't playful but more sarcastic because she doubted Jaqueline, the seemingly preppy woman would let go considering her child.

"If you could make me one cosmopolitan I'd appreciate it. Jodie said you're a bartender too," she said while she got up from the couch fluidly.

"That I can do. And its down the hallway to your right, first door," she replied as she removed herself from the couch as well. For a few minutes she made what she knew was a killer cosmo. It had layers of flavor to it and so when they resumed the movie and Jaqueline took her first sip she closed her eyes and let out a light moan. It wasn't sexual, but it was full of contentment and the lingering notion that wanted to preserve the moment.

"That is...the bomb," said the preppy woman with a goofy grin.

"That bomb huh?" Alex said with a smirk. Unable to remember the last time she heard that colloquial phrase.

"Mmm, you bet." Jaqueline said with a knowing smile as though she knew that her company was thinking she's a dork, but on the contrary Alex found it surprisingly cute that a woman who had her masters would say-the bomb. It was so out of place that it was charming.

"It might be the alcohol from earlier speaking, but...you're cute," Alex said bluntly, holding Jaqueline's gaze.

"That didn't take long," the older woman said with amusement as she set the drink on the table, leaning over, giving Alex a clear view of the tendons in her neck, collar bone, and slim arms.

"What do you mean?" The relaxed girl said with a frown.

"You..." she said, leaning back into the couch and narrowing her eyes, "know that you're charming...and...you can't stand when people lie, so to many people I'm sure you come off as abrasive when really you'd just like people to be honest with you," she finished with calm certainty that left Alex feeling disarmed and made her lean away from the woman. Not from fear but simple dismay that she could be picked apart so easily.

"Fine, don't accept the compliment," she said with a small smirk, brushing off the comment and picked up the remote to press play. She managed to hear the older woman laugh over the movie though.

"How old are you?" Jaqueline asked curiously.

"Nineteen," Alex said, making eye contact again with her guest.

"You're younger than Jodie? Didn't expect that. You're so young," she said with a sigh.

"Yeah, and you're so ancient," she said back with well rounded sarcasm.

"You act older," Jaqueline said a few minutes later without any judgmental implications. After Alex could feel her observe her from the corner of her vision. She only shrugged in return, but her shoulders felt heavy.

"And you're cute as well," Jaqueline said gently but with amusement. For the first time her voice indicated interest and intention, but her body language was still calm and she still came off as a nonthreatening presence.

The movie went unwatched as Jaqueline slowly leaned in and kissed the younger girl._ I_t was simple and sweet, not full of passion, but it was considerate in its slow pace. The former blonde acknowledged that it was nice to not be the one to make the first move for once. It took the pressure off but instead of feeling content with the moment that provided escapism she wanted to cry. The kissing was empty with this stranger. Pulling back painstakingly slow, beating herself up for stopping when this woman was clearly her type, a more mature type but still had potential.

_I still want Marissa. Son of a bitch. _She chastised herself and frowned.

Jaqueline leaned back into the couch and smirked at her, removing her hand that had cupped Alex's jaw.

"You still love her," she said knowingly without any bitterness. Alex chose to remain silent.

"No hard feelings, you're interesting and this has been relaxing," she continued as she rested her head in her hand while her arm was propped up on the back of the couch. Her appearance was still laid back and Alex appreciated how easy it was to be around this woman, though she still managed to beat herself up for loving Marissa when she felt compelled to avoid it. There were over a hundred reasons to not care for the girl.

"Mmm," Alex hummed tiredly from the numerous thoughts clashing in her head.

"Are you going to stop drinking anytime soon?" The woman asked, again without any judgment but containing mere interest. Not able to stop herself and annoyed that it was obvious she was purposefully drinking herself into oblivion she sighed.

"Probably not," she said honestly.

"That's unfortunate. You were more attractive sober," she said with a smirk. There wasn't any sexual tension, but this woman enjoyed joking around for the hell of it. "I should go," she said lightly and didn't allow Alex to interject as she got up smoothly and bent down to get her purse.

"Hey....thanks for coming over." Alex said quietly as she leaned against her door.

"It was worth the try," Jaqueline replied nonchalantly. Before she left she slowly leaned in and left a very gentle, whisper of a kiss on Alex's cheek. "And I hope you aren't so unhappy in the near future," she said with care and compassion. It was raw and unnecessary but sweet. Giving a light smile back the former blonde relaxed against her door.

"Have a goodnight," she said barely above a whisper, her energy feeling drained and to a small degree she hated herself for not being more open to this person but as she shut the door she again felt empty and resigned herself to the couch again. She stared at the blank TV and wanted to get up to grab another drink but she was busy holding in her self hatred. Picking up the pillow next to her she pushed it delicately into her face, held the material until her fingers were digging into the cushion as she screamed for five seconds. The muffle helped but was also a way to contain her emotions. She never let herself go. The only time she even smoked was when she had the intention to self harm. And even then it had to be at night and cold out. At the moment she let the last of her energy pilfer out as her voice died out. Slowly removing the pillow from her hold she sat stock still and focused on breathing. When she got bored with that and the lame attempt to meditate she got up, opened her fridge and got another beer. Leaning against the counter she was half way through with the beer as there was a knock at her door. Frowning, she slowly walked to the door, the beer hitting the side of her leg as she pulled the door open.

"What are you two competing or something?"

The former blonde, not in the mood for the conversation that she assumed would end badly, gave a disconcerting nod and tried to shut the door on the girl.

"Making yourself numb isn't going to help," she said annoyed and stopped the door from closing in her face. "It'd be pointless for me to tell you what she do," she said with a sigh. "But stop being so guarded," she said raising her voice a bit.

"This," she said while holding the beer bottle at the top of the neck and leaving her index and middle finger out as though indicating the empty room, "works for me." The absence of people and the loner status was obvious. _Of course. What comes after happiness? The fallout. Or the bitter reality that you can't hold onto it. _At that thought she lifted the bottle to take another sip. She felt lame and impassive while doing it.

"No, but go ahead and think that," the tone came off as annoyed but also accepting of the not so sober girl's view. Summer took the bottle away from her best friend's ex just as she was nearing it to her lips. Keeping her voice calm and level to avoid any confrontation and to make her point maturely, the shorter girl continued. "You're both pathetic in your own ways," she said tiredly as though she was already losing patience with the other girl.

"And you want us to be pathetic together?" Alex asked with bitter amusement. "Great logic," she finished sarcastically and made to go back into her apartment.

"That beer really must be killing your brain cells," Summer replied without missing a beat and followed the other woman into her apartment seeing as how she left the door open and hadn't tried to keep her from entering again. Stopping immediately and abruptly turning around Alex spun on her heels and was ready to inform Summer she could leave, the smaller woman beat her to the chase and interjected, "You're drinking so you don't have to feel. Its weak and a cop-out. Marissa's trying to not be conscious. That's her M.O. And it needs to change. So I come here, to tell you to go talk to her and look at this, the two of you are in the same boat. The same drunken boat."

"Are you getting to a point?" Alex interrupted as she rubbed her eyes to try to wake up and focus on the over protective girl.

"You're suppose to be the mature one and talk to her and fix things," Summer said quickly and contained a tone that was full of expectations.

"I don't have to do anything. She broke up with me...again, let me remind you," she said bitterly.

Summer waved her hand back and forth, dismissing what had been said.

"You're like twenty-five, you should be the one with her head on her shoulders," she said impatiently.

"I'm nineteen," she said as she rolled her eyes.

"Nineteen!" The smaller girl said. Her eyes widening.

"Yeah," she replied, annoyed, considering that as Marissa's best friend she should have known.

"You act older," Summer said with a frown.

"So I've been told," Alex replied while she leaned against the counter more.

"I mean...you have your own business, Jodie's older, you look older," she continued.

"Do you have a point at all to this visit?" Alex asked losing the little patience she had.

"You didn't have to validate yourself to Marissa." She said quickly but with conviction which earned a frown from the taller girl, prompting her to verbalize her line of thought. "You don't always have to protect her, you don't have to work all the time to support the two of you, you don't have to be serious as often as you are," she said calmly.

"So you want me to change myself completely?" Alex interrupted again, becoming livid at the undertone.

"No, that's not even what I'm saying."

"That kind of is what you're saying. More or less..." she said pressing her hand to the side of her head and bring it back down to the counter, her gaze cast downward to the floor. "I wasn't enough basically."

"No. Alex, listen. Focus here. You were more than enough. She wanted more of you. Not to pull away." she offered. "Its been a month. You haven't contacted her at all," Summer said with some annoyance.

"She broke up with me, that's a good indication she doesn't want me around," Alex said logically.

"You don't just quit. Marissa wanted you to try. The point was if your relationship was worth the fight." Summer said with certainty.

"Did she tell you that?" the former blond asked, narrowing her eyes.

"No, not exactly...okay, not at all." Summer said and shifted her weight from one side to the next. "She barely said anything dealing with you two. Not even at that concert you bought the tickets for." She mumbled offhandedly as though realizing it herself.

"That's what I thought. So...nice try, but I'm not going to fight. Not today or tomorrow. Its not my job." Alex said resolutely while she slowly lifted her hands in a gesture of surrender and shook her head.

"Fine, have another drink then. I'll tell Marissa to do the same," Summer turned and said louder so Alex could hear her.

"Wait, that's bullshit. Try to make her stop drinking. I...I don't want her to drink," she finally said, barely above a whisper at the end.

"And I'm sure if she were sober enough she'd think the same thing for you." Summer said gently, aware that Alex still cared but couldn't bring herself to talk to her best friend and shut the door, leaving Alex to think alone or bury herself in drinking. But there were too many thoughts in her head so she couldn't bring herself to take to the bottle, even though it had been her muse for the past few weeks.

Without realizing it she had spent three days sober since Summer's impromptu visit. She wouldn't give her the credit, but she knew it had a small factor in her aversion to her ritualized self-deprecation.

Jodie had also helped when she had come into the office the next day, after Summer's arrival with Liv and said point blankly, "I'm not looking after her anymore. I love her, Cam loves her, but she's yours and you need something to care for, so shape up, stop drinking, knock it off completely! And eat more than a meal a day. Cam said you were looking too thin," she said bluntly and walked out leaving the little dog behind.

Two hours later, Alex in a rare moment, walked into her friend's office while Liv jumped at her ankels to be picked up and said thank you. Jodie nodded and knowingly said, "You needed it," then continued with her work. At a later time they both knew they'd have a longer discussion, but not today.

The next evening as she was trying to fall asleep she couldn't stop her mind from wandering. _What if I was wrong and she loved me? It was my fault if I pushed and she thought there wasn't another option. But...she shouldn't have assumed it was my job to fight to keep us an us. I shouldn't be the one to always make it right. _At that she was becoming annoyed, her back tensing. It really wasn't her role in their relationship to always hold them together. _Maybe she loved me, maybe she didn't. _Those were her last thoughts as she fell asleep with Liv next to her, asleep on the floor in her comfy bed.

When morning came she had woken up at five AM and decided she wasn't going to fall back asleep even if she did something that was a cross between meditation and half sleep. As a last resort of feeling like herself, the centered version, she grabbed her surf board that had been discarded in the closet. Time to ditch the drinking and pick up her life for what seemed to be the fifth time. She had lost count. Getting out of bed she looked over at Liv and let the pup sleep in.

By the time she was out and in the waves, slowly getting accustomed to the current she breathed in deeply and let out a calm breath. It was almost instantaneous how her mind had shifted into a more peaceful state. Her body and all its tense muscles followed soon after, almost as though the memory of surfing had to be soothed into them. She had spent almost an hour and a half riding the waves, sailing through them, cutting into them, gliding and moving with them. Coming out of the ocean, she felt to a small extent reborn. Not in a way that had anything to do with religion. It was about her body, her core, her heart that nature had revitalized.

It wasn't until she saw a familiar figure that the beautiful effects of the water felt stripped away. Standing on the beach, right in front of her Jeep was Marissa.

Taking in a chiseled breath that caught in her chest she tucked her board under her arm and slowly walked towards her, not thinking of forming words or a hello, she didn't know what to feel. It was too much and at the same time she felt...disappointed...of their past. They didn't even need to be in this situation, they should have never gotten to this place. Frowning at the slightly taller girl she stood and waited, feeling that common courtesy of a hello would cheapen the moment or would offend anything they previously had.

"You looked good out there," Marissa said softy and with some uncertainty. It was painfully clear how insecure the high schooler was at their unsteady foundation. The former blond didn't have anything to say to that. It wasn't as though she was focused on how she looked as she surfed. If anything it was the most uninhibited thing she did.

"I....I wanted to..talk to you," Marissa said nervously as she moved her hands into her pockets more, her arms coming in stiffly at her sides.

"Okay," Alex said patiently, not expecting anything to go well, but would still allow her ex to say what she wanted. Placing the surfboard's end into the sand she dug it into the sand as best as she could and held onto its side.

"That...out there," she said taking her right hand from her pocket and pointing to the waves, the sea that un-apologetically took things, gave life, and brought death in a cyclical manner, "is the one I fell in love with," she said gently. "Not the workaholic," she finished with certainty and put her hand back in the pocket.

"Okay," the surfer said, this time unsure what to say to Marissa.

"But I could fall in love with you...again," she said meeting blue eyes. She couldn't hear the waved anymore. All of sense, each one was individually tuning out and zeroing in on the words and letting them seep in.

"So what are you saying?" Alex said with a frown and apprehension, slowly processing the words, mentally treading where she had no experience.

"You're beautiful in a way that there's layers and even if a person had years to know you...I don't think they'd see it all," she said smoothly and Alex had to acknowledge how it seemed somewhat poetic and bare.

"And....I want to spend years seeing it all." She said taking a small step forward. "You're stubborn, you're one of the most...emotionally reserved person I know...but I know that you think a lot and...I hope I'm not wrong when I assume...that I saw sides to you that I don't think others have seen." She paused and Alex took in a long breath to steady herself.

"You're not wrong," Alex said quietly after a moment of painful, tense silence that built onto Marissa's self-consciousness.

Slowly nodding, letting it sink in what Alex had admitted, probably begrudgingly, she took another small step forward. "Okay....things should have been different....I don't think I've ever asked you this before...and I'm sorry. What do you want?" Marissa asked with undivided attention. Her eyes intense as she quietly asked something that was rarely if ever asked to the former blonde. The question was clear but implied whole world. What did she want. And to ask it, with pure consideration and desire to know her thoughts was both refreshing and shocking at how unselfish it was. It felt like an overload. Frowning she picked up her surfboard and made her way to the Jeep, unable to think that the moment was real.

It was the soft hold on her wrist that stopped her. Turning around she immediately looked up at Marissa and took in the tears that were resting in her eyes, begging to stay in for the sake of self respect, but gravity won out. An invisible force, much like emotions that could compel things to fall apart. And they could fall apart, hard and so painfully without any care at the aftermath and damage. It was the tears that made Alex react and pull Marissa closer. She hated to see her cry, she'd seen it enough and too many times when it was close to the edge. Pulling back she looked at the girl who could inspire so much in her. Her eyes that contained their own waves-emotions, passion, her soul, was giving into the unadulterated, considerate embrace that Alex had her in. It was as though something had shifted inside of her and she felt more calm, more composed and full.

"I...," she started to say as Marissa moved her arms around her shoulders, her own arms wrapping around Marissa's waist more and gently pulling her closer. The fit nearly perfect, if perfection were possible. She had missed how they complimented each other, the pieces moving into place while Marissa moved her hand to the back of her neck as the other barely cupped Alex jaw, leaving the ghosts of a delicate embrace.

"I love you," she whispered. A second later Marissa's lips were on hers. It wasn't a re-acquaintance or a hesitant kiss, she wanted to express longing from the missed time, a desperate giving in that she wanted to commit to memory and Alex did the same. Barely hearing the waves as she felt Marissa's warm skin under her hands she let out a soft sigh as Marissa took her bottom lip into her mouth.

"I love you too," Marissa said with her lips still against hers in an ephemeral touch as the ocean crashed louder. The tide receding as they both slowly realized they always met, broke and reformed with its presence next to them.

* * *

Author's Note: Enjoy yourselves.


End file.
